argument65

liuliu8389UID: 2432168

TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."


In this argument, the author notes that the five best-selling cheeses in their newest store were all domestic cheeses last year and an increasing preference for domestic cheeses is indicated by Cheeses of the World magazine’s recent survey. The author also points out that limiting inventory can reduce expenses. Therefore, he/she concludes that all their stores should stopping stocking imported cheese but concentrate on domestic ones to improve profits. However, a close scrutiny of the evidence reveals several critical flaws with the author’s argument.

First of all, the author’s data of the five best-selling cheeses is come from their newest store and there is no information that the newest store is representative of all their stores. Perhaps imported cheeses are sold better in all their cheese stores except the newest one and the national best-selling cheeses are imported ones. Also the author does not show me the seasonal selling tendency during the past year. It is possible that the selling of imported cheeses was not good in the first two seasons, but it came out better and better during the following seasons. The author cannot conclude that the domestic cheeses will be sold better since these possibilities exist.

Secondly, the author provides no information about the number of respondents or their age or residential profiles. The fewer respondents, the less reliable the survey’s results. Also, the narrower the spectrum of age and geographic areas represented among respondents, the more likely that one of these two factors plays a role in the cheeses preference. Without ruling out all such possibilities, the author cannot convince me that people have a increasing preference for domestic cheeses to imported ones.

Finally, the author concludes without adequate evidence that the best way to improve profits is stopping stocking imported cheeses and concentrate on domestic ones. Yet this might not be the case, for a variety of possible reasons. It is entirely possible that the storage of domestic cheeses costs much more than import cheeses because they need better stock conditions, and that the profits of domestic cheeses is less than imported ones. And there are many other factors that can affect the profits in stores, such as wise and prudential leaders, efficient and cooperative crew, high-quality materials and advanced machinery.

In conclusion, the recommendation that stopping stocking imported cheese but concentrate on domestic ones to improve profits is not well supported. To lend credibility to this advice, the author should show that domestic cheeses are the national best-selling, not only in their newest stores, and the particular information such as age and residential conditions of the respondents. Finally, to better assess the argument, the author should rule out all other possibilities that may be the best way to improve profits.

九微火UID: 2343684

argument65
TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."


In this argument, the author notes that the five best-selling cheeses in their newest store were all domestic cheeses last year and an increasing preference for domestic cheeses is indicated by Cheeses of the World magazine’s recent survey. The author also points out that limiting inventory can reduce expenses. Therefore, he/she concludes that all their stores should stopping stocking imported cheese but concentrate on domestic ones to improve profits. However, a close scrutiny of the evidence reveals several critical flaws with the author’s argument.比较模板化。表达流畅。

First of all, the author’s data of the five best-selling cheeses is come from their newest store and there is no information that the newest store is representative of all their stores. Perhaps imported cheeses are sold better in all their cheese stores except the newest one and the national best-selling cheeses are imported ones. Also the author does not show me the seasonal selling tendency during the past year.（提出季节性这点比较深入） It is possible that the selling of imported cheeses was not good in the first two seasons, but it came out better and better during the following seasons. The author cannot conclude that the domestic cheeses will be sold better since these possibilities exist.
这一段论证得很充分。比较不错。

Secondly, the author provides no information about the number of respondents or their age or residential profiles. The fewer respondents, the less reliable the survey’s results. （这句话不完整 results 作名词没有谓语了） Also, the narrower the spectrum of age and geographic areas represented among respondents, the more likely that one of these two factors plays a role in the cheeses preference.（这点推理不错） Without ruling out all such possibilities, the author cannot convince me that people have a（an） increasing preference for domestic cheeses to imported ones.

Finally, the author concludes without adequate evidence that the best way to improve profits is stopping stocking imported cheeses and concentrate on domestic ones. Yet this might not be the case, for a variety of possible reasons. It is entirely possible that the storage of domestic cheeses costs much more than import cheeses because they need better stock conditions, and that the profits of domestic cheeses is less than imported ones. And there are many other factors that can affect the profits in stores, such as wise and prudential leaders, efficient and cooperative crew, high-quality materials and advanced machinery.
这段相对来说模板化重些，逻辑上比较笼统。表达很流畅，词汇运用准确丰富。

In conclusion, the recommendation that stopping stocking imported cheese but concentrate on domestic ones to improve profits is not well supported. To lend credibility to this advice, the author should show that domestic cheeses are the national best-selling, not only in their newest stores, and the particular information such as age and residential conditions of the respondents. Finally, to better assess the argument, the author should rule out all other possibilities that may be the best way to improve profits.
结尾非常规范。

总体上说，楼主的ARGU相当不错。尤其是前两段的论证比较完善。在表达方面非常流畅，词汇运用方面也很到位。字数也比较多。如是限时模考完成的，感觉楼主只需要调整好心态就可以去考试了。O(∩_∩)o…