argument52 April 小组 第3周作业

laiy115UID: 2421161

TOPIC: ARGUMENT52 - The following appeared in a memo to the human resources manager at Baobob Inc., a
large architectural firm.

"Several well-known, retired architects were interviewed in Architecture Today about changes in the field. Only one had earned a college degree in architecture. All others had come into the field at an early age by serving
apprenticeships that required them to work under the direct supervision of an experienced architect. Several of the
colleges that we recruit from report that many promising architecture students leave school early in their
undergraduate career. Therefore, because finding talented architecture graduates is becoming more difficult,
Baobob Inc. should start an aggressive apprenticeship program and hire students who express an interest in
architecture directly out of high school rather than wait for them to get out of college."

In this argument the author asserted that Baobob Inc should engage the students who have interest in architecture and are directly out of high school. And the company should begin an aggressive apprenticeship program with those
students. At first glance, the reason given by the arguer seems reasonable. However, this argument is unconvincing
for several critical flaws.

First of all, the conclusion is based on a promise that the company have enough abilities to begin an apprenticeship program. However, the author did not prove that Baobob Inc is able to give students a nice training. As far as I
know, a nice training on architecture should include several aspects: the company should has enough experienced
architects; those architects will have time and ginger to teach the students; the company has essential qualifications
to sustain such program. But in this argument, the author didn't give us some necessary proofs.

In addition, the evidences cited in the argument are so vague that they do not validate the author's assumption. First of all, the fact can prove nothing that only one architect had earned a college degree in architecture among some
retired architects who were interviewed in Architecture Today. Since those individuals retired, their experience was available several years ago. In other words, this situation can not used to bear out feasibility of the program. What is more, some reports from  several colleges returned that many promising architecture students leave campus before
they graduated. However, there is no proof to explain that other architecture students who still learn in the
universities are not outstanding. Also, this explanation dose not carry conviction, for such problem only reported in several schools. So those reasons have some logic flaws.  

Finally, the author said that the company should hire students who just graduated from high schools. Even if those
students real have interests in architecture, there is no direct relationship between their interests and their abilities in architecture. It is very possible that when those students come to the company and accept some training, they will
find that they do not like this field. So the conclusion is arbitrary.

As indicated above, the author can not persuade me to accept his or her conclusion. Unless he or she give me
reasonable evidences to answer the question blow: If the company has enough abilities to give students professional training in architecture? If the apprenticeship program is adapt to a new condition at present? How many talented
architecture students live schools before they graduated? I will believe the author's opinion.

dinner1022UID: 2456906

1,In this argument the author asserted that Baobob Inc should engage the students who have interest in architecture and are directly out of high school. And the company should begin an aggressive apprenticeship program with those
students.
改：In this argument the author asserted that Baobob Inc should begin an aggressive apprenticeship program engaging students interested in architecture directly out of high schools.
2.At first glance, the reason(reasons) given by the arguer seems reasonable(persuasive).
3.First of all, the conclusion is based on a promise(the assumption) that the company have enough abilities to begin an apprenticeship program. However, the author did not prove that Baobob Inc is able to give students a nice training.
4.a nice(qualified) training on architecture should include several aspects: the company should has enough experienced
architects; those architects will have time and ginger to teach the students; the company has essential qualifications
to sustain such program. But in this argument, the author didn't give us some necessary proofs.
改: have enough experienced architects with sufficient time and ginger instructing students as well as essential qualifications to sustain such program.
5.First of all, the fact can prove nothing that only one architect had earned a college degree in architecture among some
retired architects who were interviewed in Architecture Today. Since those individuals retired, their experience was available several years ago.
改：First of all, the fact that only one architect had earned a college degree in architecture among some retired architects interviewed in Architecture Today proves nothing toward the conclusion.
6What is more, some reports from  several colleges returned that many promising architecture students leave campus before
they graduated. ?貌似语法有问题
7。我个人觉得第二个论断可以加上“Without sufficient evidence containing a large sample representative of most conditions, I just can not accept the author's conclusion”
8.Unless he or she give(gives) me
reasonable evidences to answer the question blow(below): If the company has enough abilities to give students professional training in architecture? If the apprenticeship program is adapt to a new condition at present? How many talented
architecture students live schools before they graduated?(觉得这里可以不用问号) I will believe the author's opinion.
9.另外我觉得第二段那里有两个逻辑错误可以分开强调：过去经验不能类比现在，另一个是例子太vague

第一次帮人改作文改得不好请多包涵
我的作业在第27楼