★决胜iBT★小组第二周第一次作业 by goldin2008

goldin2008UID：2140085

17. Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay.
Ever complained about the teacher thwarting your potential? Ever imagined that you studied by yourself without the teacher's imperative command? To some extent, I concede that learning by oneself has merit. However, a teacher can provide much help for students, which is important for them, just like the heart is vital for human beings.

Admittedly, different people with various background and habits have their own methods to study. It is no denying that sometimes teacher maybe not effectively foment their studying, or even obstruct it, due to the teachers cannot completely identify and understand the students compared with the students themselves. So, some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher.


However, those people fail to consider the advantages of the teacher. Firstly, the teacher can supervise our learning and encourage us when we are confused. For example, when I was young, I hardly study carefully, let alone plan my future. Instead, I always consider play what and how to play it. Without the teachers' help, I cannot imagine what I look like today. Become a student in university? You are so funny, and this may be just a dream for me in the past.

Secondly, at the early stage of education, most students are not yet qualified enough to make their own choices independently. Thus, the teachers, through their professional knowledge and relevant experience, can help us dig potential and find the direction toward better ourselves. According to a recent report from the sociology department of Peking University, ninety-percent of scientists admit that in their childhood they don’t actually realize the talent in particular fields, and it is the teacher who help them realize the potential.

Thirdly, the teacher can spark and enhance interests of students, which gives students' personal development enough latitude and provide special trainings to different groups of people, upon which we can make our choices of a suitable path of education as well as career.


To sum up, with the teacher's help, we can learn adequate basic knowledge, find the suitable path for us, and study hard. As a result, we would benefit from the teacher, and as long as we recognize these advantages discussed above, we would have a bright future and a better society.

Word Count:376

lifehouseUID：2470218

sorry,昨晚有事，耽误了

[ 本帖最后由 lifehouse 于 2008-4-10 14:03 编辑 ]

apple182105UID：2441937

apple182105完成作文部分修改
apple182105完成口语部分修改，请见附件

[ 本帖最后由 apple182105 于 2008-4-10 18:50 编辑 ]

hyacinthUID：2184492

Ever complained about the teacher thwarting your potential? (thwart means to prevent from accomplishing a purpose, to frustrate.. So potential actually can’t be thwarted.) Ever imagined that you studied by yourself without the(这个the读起来很不顺,删掉它) teacher's imperative command? To some extent, I concede that learning by oneself has merit. However, a teacher can provide much help for students, which is important for them, just like the heart is vital for human beings.
开头的两个问句很吸人眼球.(最起码很吸引我的;d: ). 给了读者一个非常好的第一印象.  

Admittedly, different people with various background and habits have their own methods to study. It is no denying that sometimes teacher maybe not effectively foment (foment一般带来的是 discord/trouble,用在这里就不妥当了) their studying, or even obstruct it, due to (due to后面一般不加句子,它的用法和because of差不多.) the teachers cannot completely (completely用在这里太绝对了.跟你开头以来一直比较保守的文风有点不搭调.:rolleyes: ) identify and understand the students compared with the students themselves (这个句子问题比较多,最好能重写下). So, some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher.

However, those people fail to consider the advantages of the teacher. Firstly, the teacher can supervise our learning and encourage us when we are confused. For example, when I was young, I hardly study carefully, let alone plan (planning) my future. Instead, I always consider play what and how to play it ( 这段前面出现过一个consider啦,可以换成别的表达.假设你仍然想用consider,注意是consider doing sth. 然后句子里的it指代不明.总之,这个句子改一下会通顺些.) Without the teachers' help, I cannot imagine what I (^ will) look like today. Become (Becoming) a student in university? You are so funny, and this may be just a dream for me in the past.
其实这段既然用了自己的例子,不妨给出一个特定的科目老师,或者班主任,这样真实感会更强一些.

Secondly, at the early stage of education, most students are not yet qualified(我个人觉得不论什么时候,每个人都是有资格做自己的决定的,所以似乎不存在是否qualified的问题.可以考虑别的理由,比如不够成熟,不够理智或者不够阅历丰富?) enough to make their own choices independently (own和independently意思重复了). Thus, the teachers, through their professional knowledge and relevant experience, can help us dig (exploit) potential and find the direction toward better ourselves (:confused: 这后半部分看不太懂啊). According to a recent report from the sociology department of Peking University, ninety-percent of scientists admit that in their childhood they don’t (do not) actually realize the talent in particular fields, and it is the teacher (teachers) who help them realize the potential.

Thirdly, the teacher can spark and enhance (enhance一般是指在价值,声望上增强.) interests of students, which gives students' personal development enough latitude and provide special trainings to different groups of people, upon which we can make our choices of a suitable path of education as well as career. (仔细看看,你这一句话就是一段了,好长的一个句子呀~~而且表达很抽象,这个give students’ personal development enough latitude到底是什么?对于不懂中文的人来说,估计很难理解这句话的意思.)

To sum up, with the teacher's help(已经看见help好几次了,咱们换个新面孔好不好.;d: 比如guidance ^ ^), we can learn adequate basic knowledge, find the suitable path for us, and study hard.(你确定basic knowledge, suitable path这些都有在你的文章中阐述吗?:o ) As a result, we would benefit from the teacher, and as long as we recognize these advantages discussed above, we would have a bright future and a better society.(:eek: better society好像有点太大了吧.而且比较空)

总体来说是非常不错的文章. 结构和思路都非常清晰. 请在未来的练习中保持.:)
但是文章光有骨头,没有血肉还是不够的.建议以后的练习中可以多想想怎么样给出detail,让自己的论点更加具有说服力.还有一点就是没有把握的词最好不要用到文章里.英语中同义词很多,但是connotation会不一样.

嘻嘻.加油~~best luck~~;d: ;d:

goldin2008UID：2140085

改得好仔细啊，非常感谢您的指导！:)

古月一囡UID：2341135

LZ应该厚道回多一点吧！～