IMPULSE作文小组----saintj----第13次作业

saintjUID：2248994

Almost all of us have many friends, older ones and contemporary ones. When we have a problem, we often turn to them, and they will give us their opinions. But whose is more valuable? As far as I am concerned, advice from the older friends is much more useful. There are couples of reasons.

First, older friends can provide helpful advice, because they have more experience than you. The growing process is almost the same, and our older friends have just been through it earlier than us. Thus, they know more about what we are going to have, and they can provide us with useful information and suggestion. For example, when we are the freshmen, our older friends have been already sophomores, junior or senior. We know nothing about the university, while they have been quite familiar with it. What we get from them can help us to adjust ourselves to the campus life more quickly and smoothly.

Usually, our older friends are more mature than us, their thoughts and minds are more reasonable, and the way they dealing with things are calmer and more composed. Since they are older than us, they may have more problems than us, and they may have accumulated more experience about how to face with them and how to deal with them. As a result, their advice can be our reference, when we confront some same difficulties.

Of course, friends who have the same age to us can also sometimes give us some valuable advice; however, they are more than often same as us, because we spend a lot of our time together, and what we have experienced is also similar. They and we are both lack of experience and maturity. Thus, it is unlikely for them to provide more reasonable and useful advice than the older friends.  

Above all, I think that older friends can give us more useful and valuable advice than our contemporary ones. Because they have more experience, and they are more mature.

双手的温柔UID：173110

Saintj
Almost all of us have many friends, older ones and contemporary ones. When we have a problem, we often turn to them, and they will give us their opinions. [turn to them for suggestions] But whose is more valuable? As far as I am concerned, advice from the older friends is much more useful. There are couples of reasons.

First, older friends can provide helpful advice, because they have more experience than you. The growing process is almost the same, and our older friends have just been through it earlier than us. [这一句有点没说好，应该把growing process 和前面那句联系起来，加个什么growing process is also the course of experience increasing之类会更连贯点。] Thus, they know more about what we are going to have, and they can provide us with useful information and suggestion. For example, when we are the freshmen, our older friends have been already sophomores, junior or senior. We know nothing about the university, while they have been quite familiar with it. [swith一下顺序如何？They have… while we…] What we get from them can help us to adjust ourselves to the campus life more quickly and smoothly.

Usually, our older friends are more mature than us, their thoughts and minds are more reasonable, and the way they dealing with things are calmer and more composed. Since they are older than us, they may have [met] more problems than us, and they may have accumulated more experience about how to face with them and how to deal with them. [意思很好，试一下去掉一些主语，they很多: Since older than us, they may have met more problems than us and also have accumulated more experience on addressing them. ] As a result, their advice can be our reference, when we confront some same difficulties. [这里可以再写一个一句到两句的例子，很简单佐证下论点。]

Of course, friends who have the same age to us can also sometimes give us some valuable advice; however, they are more than often same as us, because we spend a lot of our time together, and what we have experienced is also similar. They and we are both lack of experience and maturity. Thus, it is unlikely for them to provide more reasonable and useful advice than the older friends.  

Above all, I think that older friends can give us more useful and valuable advice than our contemporary ones. Because they have more experience, and they are more mature.
问一个弱问题：because +原因的句子可以独立成句的么？？？像lz最后一句这样？
俺一直想这么拆长句子，但是实在记不清能不能了。。。。

两个观点很清楚。注意把道理说的更顺一点。尝试用简单的句子概括你的想法，这样同等长度的文章，会显得充实很多。--- 懒人观点:P

[ 本帖最后由 双手的温柔 于 2008-7-10 09:20 编辑 ]

19811010316UID：2220703

Almost all of us have many friends, older ones and contemporary ones(我认为older也属于同时代). When we have a problem, we often turn to them, and they will give us their opinions. But whose is more valuable? As far as I am concerned, advice from the older friends is much more useful. There are couples of reasons.

First, older friends can provide helpful advice, because they have more experience than you（作文中禁止出现第二人称，me or them）. The growing process is almost the same, and our older friends have just been through it earlier than us. Thus, they know more about what we are going to have, and they can provide us with useful information and suggestion. For example, when we are the freshmen, our older friends have been already sophomores, junior or senior. We know nothing about the university, while they have been quite familiar with it. What we get from them can help us to adjust ourselves to the campus life more quickly and smoothly.
a
Usually, our older friends are more mature than us, their thoughts and minds are more reasonable, and the way they dealing with things are calmer and more composed. Since they are older than us, they may have more problems than us, and they may have accumulated more experience about how to face with them and how to deal with them. As a result, their advice can be our reference, when we confront (are confronted with) some same difficulties.
b
Of course, friends who have the same age to us can also sometimes give us some valuable advice; however, they are more than often same as us, because we spend a lot of our time together, and what we have experienced is also similar. They and we are both lack of experience and maturity(they 与we一块用不太合适).

Thus, it is unlikely for them to provide more reasonable and useful advice than the older friends. p6L-aR/g
I­wp寄托家园Above all, I think that older friends can give us more useful and valuable advice than our contemporary ones. Because they have more experience, and they are more mature.


[ 本帖最后由 19811010316 于 2008-7-10 22:11 编辑 ]