argument45 [7\8\910] 第二次作业

thepopdjUID: 2517220

45The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."

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In this argument, the author concludes that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to move over ice to other island, where there is some plant on which deer feed, because it coincide with recent global warming trends. To support this conclusion, the author cites a report from local hunters that the deer populations are declining. I find this argument depend on several unsubstantiated grounds.

First of all, the author alleges the deer populations are declining according to reports from local hunters. But except these baseless reports there is no official or authoritative report which can well prove the declining of deer populations. It is possible that local hunters are always hunting these deer, so deer begin to dodge local denizen. As a result of this assumption, the local hunters may falsely consider the deer populations is declining.

In the second place, even though the reports from hunters are correct, the conclusion that global warming trends lead to the decline in arctic deer populations is greatly unconvincing. There is not any evidence to bolster that there is a relationship between global warming trends and the decline in beer populations. Perhaps, the decline ascribes the condition that local hunters immoderately hunt deer; or perhaps, some unknown disease lead to a tragedy of deer. While either of the two possibilities is true, the author's conclusion that global warming trends is the reason why the deer populations is declining is overthrown.

Finally, even though there is a relationship between global warming trends and the decline of deer populations, and local hunters provide correct reports, I still doubt the conclusion that deer cannot move over ice to other islands to find food because global warming trends make ice unfreeze. But the author provides no evidence to support this conclusion. I can assume that ice over which deer move is uninfluential, but global warming trends lead to the decline of plant populations on which deer feed. Because of lacking food, deer populations is declining. It is also possible that global warming trends changes habit of other animals some of which feed on deer. They flit to this island where deer live, and kill a large number of deer, which lead to the decline of deer populations.

In sum, this conclusion, that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to move over ice to find food, because it coincide with recent global warming trends, is not well supportive. In order to bolster his conclusion, the author must provide evidence to prove that those report from hunters is correct, and that there is causal relationship among global warming trends, ice unfreezing and the decline of deer populations.

yourrubyUID: 2504008

Inthis argument, the author concludes that the decline in arctic deerpopulations is the result of deer being unable to move over ice toother island, where there is some plant on which deer feed, because itcoincide with recent global warming trends. (这个第一句好长啊...)To support this conclusion,the author cites a report from local hunters that the deer populationsare declining. I find this argument depend on several unsubstantiatedgrounds.

First of all, the authoralleges the deer populations are declining according to reports fromlocal hunters. But except these baseless reports there is no officialor authoritative report which can well prove the declining of deerpopulations. It is possible that local hunters are always hunting thesedeer, so deer begin to dodge local denizen. As a result of thisassumption, the local hunters may falsely consider the deer populationsis declining.

In the second place, eventhough the reports from hunters are correct, the conclusion that globalwarming trends lead to the decline in arctic deer populations isgreatly unconvincing. There is not any evidence to bolster that thereis a relationship between global warming trends and the decline in beerdeer populations. Perhaps, the decline ascribes the condition that localhunters immoderately way of hunting.hunt deer; or perhaps, some unknown disease leadto a tragedy of deer. While either of the two possibilities is true,the author's conclusion that global warming trends is the reason whythe deer populations is declining is overthrown.

Finally, even though thereis a relationship between global warming trends and the decline of deerpopulations, and local hunters provide correct reports, I still doubtthe conclusion that ??? deer cannot move over ice to other islands to findfood because global warming trends make ice unfreeze.(这句话表达的意思不太明白) But the authorprovides no evidence to support this conclusion. I can assume that iceover which deer move is uninfluential, but global warming trends leadto the decline of plant populations on which deer feed. Because oflacking food, deer populations is declining. It is also possible thatglobal warming trends changes habit of other animals some of which feedon deer. They flit to this island where deer live, and kill a largenumber of deer, which lead to the decline of deer populations.(感觉这一段有些思维混乱...)

In sum, this conclusion,that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer beingunable to move over ice to find food, because it coincide with recentglobal warming trends, is not well supportive. In order to bolster hisconclusion, the author must provide evidence to prove that those reportfrom hunters is correct, and that there is causal relationship amongglobal warming trends, ice unfreezing and the decline of deerpopulations.

我对这篇文章的理解是这样的: 全球变暖---海冰融化----鹿不能通过海冰到分离的岛屿上吃食物----鹿的数量下降.  
可以先攻击鹿数量下降这个前提,  正如你所做~再由全球变暖是不是可以导致海冰融化?>>>>进而导致连接岛屿的冰融化>>>>使鹿不能获得食物..可以层层攻击~一步步来~感觉这样会比较有层次. 我个人观点,  欢迎切磋~
倒数第二段那句话改成这样是不是更好理解? It is possible that other reasons may also contributed to the conclusion that the number of deer decreased. Such as......不知道这样是不是符合你的本意.
个人的一些看法, 你斟酌采纳~~

DemiquaverUID: 203651

我和yourruby对文章的分析基本是一样的，中间有hunters的因素，也是一个攻击点。

逻辑错误找的差不离，整篇文章的顺序和主线还可以改进。我们反驳原文的文章也是要有逻辑的。

还有就是有的地方问题找到了，但攻击的时候好像没到位。具体问题写在下面的修改中。

个人拙见，水平有限，如有错误，见谅！

In this argument, the author concludes that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to move over ice to other island, where there is（are） some plants on which deer feed, because it coincide with recent global warming trends. To support this conclusion, the author cites a report from local hunters that the deer populations are declining. （最好加一个表转折的词或短语）I find this argument depend on several unsubstantiated grounds.

First of all, the author alleges the deer populations are declining according to reports from local hunters. But except these baseless reports there is no official or authoritative report which can well prove the declining of deer populations. It is possible that local hunters are always hunting these（can be omitted） deer, so deer begin to dodge local denizen. As a result of this assumption, the local hunters may falsely consider the deer populations is declining.

In the second place, even though the reports from hunters are correct, the conclusion that global warming trends lead to the decline in arctic deer populations is greatly unconvincing. There is not any evidence to bolster that there is（可以省，前面有个there is了，显得重复） a relationship between global warming trends and the decline in beer populations. Perhaps, the decline ascribes the condition that local hunters immoderately hunt deer（这点上一段已经攻击过了呀）; or perhaps（换一个probably吧，前后两个perhaps离得太近）, some unknown disease lead to a tragedy of deer（这条理由找的好）. While either of the two possibilities is true, the author's conclusion that global warming trends is the reason why the deer populations is declining is overthrown.（这段在攻击上感觉有些问题，虽然全球变暖和鹿减少是没有直接联系，但原文中间提到了冰融化使无法走过海。在攻击的时候不能无视这一点，跳过它来分析吧。所以使得这段的分析看上去有些牵强。还是参照yourruby的分析，按逻辑顺序进行比较好。）

Finally, even though there is a relationship between global warming trends and the decline of deer populations, and local hunters provide correct reports, I still doubt the conclusion that deer cannot move over ice to other islands to find food because global warming trends make ice unfreezed. But（前后没有转折关系吧） the author provides no evidence to support this conclusion. I can assume that ice over which deer move is uninfluential, but global warming trends lead to the decline of plant populations on which deer feed.（这个分析我感觉也有点牵强，既然已经提到了全球变暖了，而且影响了植物数量，冰这种对气温比较敏感的物质能不受影响吗？如果说气温变化范围影响了植物而没影响冰，那么也应该表达出来，分析到位，但这点我觉得很难说清楚，所以找这个反例证明不一定好。） Because of lacking food, deer populations is declining. It is also possible that global warming trends changes habit of other animals some of which feed on deer. They flit to this island where deer live, and kill（prey on） a large number of deer, which lead to the decline of deer populations.

In sum, this conclusion, that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to move over ice to find food, because it coincide with recent global warming trends,（和开头一样啊，建议改动一下吧） is not well supportive. In order to bolster his conclusion, the author must provide evidence to prove that those reports from hunters is（are） correct, and that there is causal relationship among global warming trends, ice unfreezing and the decline of deer populations.