issue50 【7\8\9\10】 7.23(第三次作业) by general

general727UID: 2494818

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 475          TIME: 01:34:53          DATE: 2008-7-23 16:24:16

Imagine being asked to spend 4 years studying in a college, which faculty never spend time working outside the academic areas, how would you react? Dull, boring or hopeless? Actually, aside from some kinds of specific academic areas, working outside the academic world relevant to their profession benefits the development both students and the college.

As a threshold matter, it is important for faculty to work outside academia in professions positions related to their field. The advantages are followed.
First of all, it will bring great benefit for student to study. A professor with experience in outside work will draw a vivid picture of outside world related to the knowledge instead of the boring characters in books. Students can learn many things beyond their book, which may attract them and become their lifelong career.  Meanwhile, it's convenient for teacher to take students to have an exercitation, such as, out teacher take us to the sewage farm. What I learned on that day is far beyond what I learned in books.
What's more, it is helpful for students to find a job. With such professor teaching us, we can easy get the information of the current job market, and be well trained to specialize in this area for hunting a good job. In addition, with a large group of friends and colleagues in the same area, professor can recommend some of his students to those companies, which will save a lot of time and energy of students.
Not only the students, but also the faculty and college themselves will get generous returns. As we know, that the issue published on the academic magazine, especially some famous ones like Science is a sign of authority. By accumulating field experience, professors can compose their issue more exactly and useful, easier to be published. And then, both the reputation of this professor and his college are improved.

Although working outside the academic world in professions has so many merits for students, professors and the college or university, something must be taken into account. One is that, as what I said above, this suggestion doesn't fit for all kinds of academic areas, such as literature and philosophy. If you stickle that visiting the house of great author is a kind of work for a literature professor to gain field experience, I'm sorry to tell you, that just a wait of money and time.
Another one is that, the purpose of working outside the academic is to bring better courses to their students, not aimed to money. That will be not worth the candle to spend the majority of time in working outside instead of giving good courses to the students.

In sum, students are the future of society, college and university should spare no effort to cultivate them. Improving the field experience of professors is a necessary method, especially in right way.

warboyUID: 2444492

Imagine being asked to spend 4 years studying in a college, which faculty never spend time working outside the academic areas, how would you react? Dull, boring or hopeless? Actually, aside from some kinds of specific academic areas, working outside the academic world relevant to their profession benefits the development both students and the college.

As a threshold matter, it is important for faculty to work outside academia in professions positions related to their field. The advantages are followed.
First of all, it will bring great benefit for student to study. A professor with experience in outside work will draw a vivid picture of outside world related to the knowledge instead of the boring characters（最好用record） in books. Students can learn many things beyond their book, which may attract them and become their lifelong career.  Meanwhile, it's convenient for teacher to take students to have an exercitation, such as, out teacher take us to the sewage farm. What I learned on that day is far beyond what I learned in books.
What's more, it is helpful for students to find a job. With such professor teaching us, we can easy get the information of the current job market, and be well trained to specialize in this area for hunting a good job. In addition, with a large group of friends and colleagues in the same area, professor can recommend some of his students to those companies, which will save a lot of time and energy of students.
题目似乎是在说for improve the quality of instrument.不知道你写benefit student 是否包含在quality of instrument，如果包含，你的论证还还是不错的。你可以参考一下我的文章
在下面：
Not only the students, but also the faculty and college themselves will get generous returns. As we know, that the issue published on the academic magazine, especially some famous ones like Science is a sign of authority（看不懂）. By accumulating field experience, professors can compose their issue more exactly and useful, easier to be published. And then, both the reputation of this professor and his college are improved.
在这一段中我没有看出你具体想怎样论证题目的，发表文章和工作于学术之外好像关系不大吧！

Although working outside the academic world in professions has so many merits for students, professors and the college or university, something（这个词太那个了吧，想个高级点的！） must be taken into account. One is that, as what I said above, this suggestion doesn't fit for all kinds of academic areas, such as literature and philosophy. If you stickle that visiting the house of great author is a kind of work for a literature professor to gain field experience, I'm sorry to tell you, that just a wait（waste）of money and time.
Another one is that, the purpose of working outside the academic is to bring better courses to their students, not aimed to money. That will be not worth the candle to spend the majority of time in working outside instead of giving good courses to the students.
这一段是想反驳一下作者的论断吧！但你也要点一下题是吧，千万别自顾自说！

In sum, students（这也成为来了？^_^） are the future of society, college and university should spare no effort to cultivate them. Improving the field experience of professors is a necessary method, especially in right way.
哎看到最后总结是感觉你好像有点跑题了，作者是在强调与外部合作的重要性，你说的Improving the field experience是什么意思？
总体上有跑题的嫌疑。不是说你论证得不对，我也看过作文书，知道那上面是这样写的，但你的每一次论证都不点题：即与improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level联系起来，确实不因该。
也可能是我水平有限，无法理解你的深意。在讨论吧！



The one reason of I fundamental agreement the speaker is that our student is actually necessary to practice their knowledge from class. Without these practice, student impossibly understand what the use of the knowledge learned is and know how to use it.  In the contrary, to participate practice would enhance student’s skills in the future work market, moreover, further promote the development of university.（我在写到里也有点觉得跑题了，所以加了出尽学生发展可以进一步促进大学发展，并举了stanford大学为学生提供实践机会，最终成为一代牛校的例子。以减少我跑题的嫌疑）Consider what the Stanford University did during 1970 that manifests how a common university called farm turn to the top university matching the MIT and Harvard, in retrospect, largely relying on a far-sighted policy that rented those abundant lands to some small company in a low price, even free. In present, those lands alternative the poor of leading-edge technology called Silicon Valley in which students ware provided a myriad of opportunity to practice their knowledge and share their experience with the engineer and involved people who woke in the similar field. The fact demonstrates that to active encourage student and teacher to join practice is the guarantee that the university and college obtain success.


[ 本帖最后由 warboy 于 2008-7-23 22:34 编辑 ]

warboyUID: 2444492

题目分析 ： 为了提高大学的教学质量 ，
老师要在所教的相关学科的非学术的职业里工作一段时间（实际操作或社会经验）。
思路整理：一、教学质量提高表现在三个方面（针对题中目的）
1，  老师的讲课水平（讲课的能力、知识与实践的储备）
2，  学生的听课，学习情况（课堂：易懂，易接受；课外：实习，试验（你的例子可以放在这。））
3，  学生的就业情况（提供就业信息，教学过程中侧重培养就业能力）
          二、注意：（针对题中要求）
           1、有些不适合的学科，不能强求。提供其他方法
           2、不能一位的要求或挑选有实际工作经验的老师，教学技巧，耐心也很重要。
这就是我改后的思路，应该可以都点到提题 上了，看看有没有补充。
我的意见：首先题目的重点是工作在学术之外，但是你的论证中，好像没有体现。只是一味再说提高教育质量我们该怎么做（如何表现）。所以我感觉你的论证思路仍存在问题。也就是说，论证的重点应该是：强调工作与学术之外导致了学校质量的提高，后者找出特例说说明工作与学术之外无异于教学质量的提高。

[ 本帖最后由 warboy 于 2008-7-26 00:09 编辑 ]