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[i习作temp] issue43 [7/8/9/10] 第八次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-7-29 00:16:50 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."



Whether the public official, following the highest standards of ethical and moral, could be effective leaders? In response to this issue, we need to analyse comprehensively from a dialectic perspective. The author declares that the answer is positive, and can be vindicated from several respects. The final judgment, in my point of view, should depend on a case-by-case analysis.

The moral and ethical standards associated with laws consist of the rule of people's behaviors, granting the ability to distinguish between right and wrong. As a social ideology, morals regulate the relationship between one person and another and as well as human beings and nature. Ethic, in itself, is a generalization of the foundation in connection between human nature and human sense. To be a member of a society, including the public official, must be restricted by the moral and ethical standard, which can allow us to convince others.

Morals and ethics are the core reason for a country to own cohesive power, and can lend a strong support for the political official to become positive examples for the people. For example, the third president of United States Thomas Jefferson is the principal author of the Declaration of Independence (1776), and one of the most influential Founding Fathers for his promotion of the ideals of republicanism in the United States. He was plain in his whole life and deeply in debt when he died, regarded as an exemplar of republican virtues. Moreover, the political leader can protect out standards of morals and ethics from being undermined by some factors such as unseemly technology. The public official sustain the highest standards of morals and ethics, we can prevent the troubling technics disrupting the stability of our society.

Meanwhile, the most effective leaders in business field are those who obligate the highest ethical and moral standards to their customers. But the contemporary society is replete with people ignoring the standard of business morals and ethics, such as selling inferior goods and competing in an unfair way. These people may just temporarily profit and never become true enterprisers. This can only be rated by the organization of customers, side of supply and the senior managers, which is considered as a approval of the masses.

From the analysis made above, I strongly commit to the notion that the public official would be more effective when they can realization the significance of moral and ethical standards and render themselves to obligate the highest standard. In a word, only owning these standards, the official can bring us a better society.  

谢谢修改的同学!:loveliness:









[ 本帖最后由 1001story 于 2008-7-29 09:25 编辑 ]
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沙发
发表于 2008-7-29 18:31:09 |只看该作者
谈一点个人拙见,欢迎讨论。水平有限,定有不妥,还望见谅!

全文给我最大的感觉就是语句流畅,超羡慕~。

但我感觉文章在部分逻辑上和一些内容安排上有些不清晰:

1、根据第一段最后一句,The final judgment, in my point of view, should depend on a case-by-case analysis. 感觉全文会按不同领域分析而得出不同结论。但后文来看,无论什么情况下,你的结论都是一样的。在这里是否能用depend on a case-by-case analysis值得探讨。

2、根据第二段最后一句,应该是本段的中心句,To be a member of a society, including the public official, must be restricted by the moral and ethical standard, which can allow us to convince others.本段是分析为什么leader们must be restricted by the moral and ethical standard.可是全段的大部分内容都是在介绍morality和ethics的定义及作用,真正能支持中心句的就是后半句which can allow us to convince others。
或者从另外一个角度说,由全段的分析,直接总结出最后一句给人感觉有些仓促,显得说理的力度还不够,可能是因为中间还缺乏例证的缘故。

3、第三段中的对例子的描述,我感觉在逻辑上有些跳。Jefferson是很有影响力的领导,他一生生活简朴。这两者之间有什么之间的关系吗?怎么证明本段开头的这句话?
另外本段Moreover后面的内容好像和本段的中心句,即第一句没什么关系。个人建议,这层意思可以另起一段叙述。

4、第四段好像中心句不是很明确,如果是第一句的话,后文好像没有对这句话进行分析。如果后文是用的反证法,那最后应该再回到中心句上,这样思路可能清晰点。

以上是以我混乱的逻辑思考的结果,所以评价可能混乱的。请多多包涵。





Whether the public official, following the highest standards of ethical and moral, could be effective leaders? In response to this issue, we need to analyse comprehensively from a dialectic perspective. The author declares that the answer is positive, and can be vindicated from several respects. The final judgment, in my point of view, should depend on a case-by-case analysis.

The moral and ethical standards associated with laws consist of the rule of people's behaviors, granting the ability to distinguish between right and wrong. As a social ideology, morals regulate the relationship between one person and another and as well as human beings and nature. Ethic, in itself, is a generalization of the foundation in connection between human nature and human sense. To be a member of a society, including the public official, must be restricted by the moral and ethical standard, which can allow us to convince others.

Morals and ethics are the core reason for a country to own cohesive power, and can lend a strong support for the political official to become positive examples for the people. For example(不远前刚有一个example,这里改用instance吧), the third president of United States Thomas Jefferson is the principal author of the Declaration of Independence (1776), and one of the most influential Founding Fathers for his promotion of the ideals of republicanism in the United States. He was plain in his whole life and deeply in debt when he died, regarded as an exemplar of republican virtues. Moreover, the political leader can protect out standards of morals and ethics from being undermined by some factors such as unseemly technology. The public official sustain the highest standards of morals and ethics, we can prevent the troubling technics disrupting the stability of our society.

Meanwhile, the most effective leaders in business field are those who obligate the highest ethical and moral standards to their customers(obligate的用法要研究下,我怎么这里表达的意思是要求他们的顾客有standards). But the contemporary society is replete with people ignoring the standard of business morals and ethics, such as selling inferior goods and competing in an unfair way. These people may just temporarily profit and never become true enterprisers. This can only be rated by the organization of customers, side of supply and the senior managers, which is considered as a approval of the masses.(to be honest, 没看懂)

From the analysis made above, I strongly commit to the notion that the public official would be more effective when they can realization the significance of moral and ethical standards and render themselves to obligate the highest standard. In a word, only owning these standards, the official can bring us a better society. (可用倒装)

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板凳
发表于 2008-7-30 11:23:43 |只看该作者

非常感谢你的修改

我把它又改了一边,希望你能看看,你的建议很有启发。

Whether the public official, following the highest standards of ethical and moral, could be effective leaders? In response to this issue, we need to analyse comprehensively from a dialectic perspective. The author declares that the answer is positive, and can be vindicated from several respects. The final judgment, in my point of view, should depend on a deep analysis.

The moral and ethical standards associated with laws consist of the rule of people's behaviors, granting the ability for a person to distinguish between right and wrong. As a social ideology, morals regulate the relationship between one person and another and as well as human beings and nature. Ethic, in itself, is a generalization of the foundation for the connection between human nature and human sense. The standard of ethics and morals can indicate what is right in our society and what should we do in our daily lives. Even sometimes they can restrain the behavior of human beings out of the power of laws such as homosexuality. So as a member of a society, including the public official, must be restricted by the moral and ethical standard, which can allow us to live in a more harmonious society and have the capability to convince others.


Morals and ethics are the core reason for a country to own cohesive power, and can lend a strong support for the political official to become positive examples for the people. For instance, the third president of United States Thomas Jefferson is the principal author of the Declaration of Independence (1776), and one of the most influential Founding Fathers for his promotion of the ideals of republicanism in the United States. He was plain in his whole life and contributed himself to the freedom and well-being of the individual, and then was deeply in debt when he died. Because he brought United States the so-called Jeffersonian democracy and his noble character in private life, Jefferson is regarded as an exemplar of republican virtues by Americans.

Moreover, the political leader can protect standards of morals and ethics from being undermined by some factors such as unseemly technology. With the high speed development of science and technology, there are some collisions between the standard and the technology like the clone technology endangering the common ethics in our society. If public officials in our government can sustain the highest standards of morals and ethics, we can prevent the troubling technics disrupting the stability of our society by implementing the act to prohibit such technology.

Meanwhile, the most effective leaders in business field are those who are obligated to maintain the highest ethical and moral standards to their customers. But the contemporary society is replete with people ignoring the standard of business morals and ethics, such as selling inferior goods and competing in an unfair way. These people may just temporarily profit and never become true enterprisers. On the contrary, the most effective business leader only provides the safe food and must carry out the pollution control measures. When approved by the masses, the enterprise can achieve the greatest attainment in the business realm.


From the analysis made above, I strongly commit to the notion that the public official would be more effective when they can realization the significance of moral and ethical standards and render themselves to obligate the highest standard. In a word, only owning these standards can the official bring us a better society.  


这次改完后发现字数多了快100个,看来要把自己的意思表达清楚不是件容易的事情。

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RE: issue43 [7/8/9/10] 第八次作业 [修改]
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