issue88

lisheng19881108UID: 2358622

issue 88 "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
限时

When asked about whether technologies determine social customs and ethics, people may find it hard to come to consensus due to their different experience and position. The speaker thinks that technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics, while some others may have the opposite view. From my perspective, i fundamentally agree with the speaker.

Firstly, no one can deny that technologies are playing a more and more important role in society and influence people's living styles at the same time. With the development of technologies, we may find the way of each person's living and working is different from each other. Jonestrone, president and CEO of MAT, a distinguished and well-known company in Massachusetts, illustrates this brilliantly in the following quotes (and I paragraph)," people's living styles are affected seriously by technologies." Consequently, we know the importance of technologies, for its affect to ourselves.

Secondly, not only to the citizen but also to countries' customs, we should take technologies into account. For example, we all know Christmas Day is a festival in American, but the young Chinese also celebrate this festival. Thanks to technologies, we can learn more from internet and social customs are effected by each country at the same time. Besides festival, technologies also effect the communication between each country in the world. For instance, the plane is becoming a more important way for vacation and, in this way, people learn more about different countries customs and their national customs also spread to this country. From above, we also can know the affect of technologies to each country.

Thirdly, just like each coin has two sides, we also should know the disadvantages of technologies. The technologies let people communicate with others much less and the competition occupies more position in people's heart. In addition, although the technologies can affect the social customs and ethics, the fact what can determines it is people themselves willing. Form example, if people all can realize themselves clearly, the Network hacker will not appear. So we should not put too much attention to technologies.

To sum up, due to the aforementioned reasons, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any single of them, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that technologies influence but social customs and ethics, but we also take technologies seriously.

DemiquaverUID: 203651

拖了那么长时间才来看你这篇文章，真不好意思

个人感觉这篇文章的问题比较大，有点跑题了。题目要求论证的是technologies是influcence还是determine，既然你在开头里提出agree with the speaker，那么重点就是应该放在determine上。
而纵观全文，前两层面都是在叙述tech对我们的影响，后一层面论述tech的负面作用，没提到为什么tech determine social customs and ethics。

第一层面说influence分析得不叫浅显，基本上都表达了一个意思，没有深入分析为什么influence了，表现在哪里，哪些例子可以证明。

第二层面看上去也是分析influence，那么就没必要独立出来一段了。另外，第二个飞机的例子逻辑上有点混乱了，没有把想说的表达出来。

第三层面，感觉这题目里无需论证tech的side effect。

开头结尾是模范范文的？

P.S. 官方范文的commentary里提到transition用的是first,second,third...而不是-ly。以前哪个帖子里也看到，外教说没看到这种用法。

个人拙见！

When asked about whether technologies determine social customs and ethics, people may find it hard to come to consensus due to their different experience and position. The speaker thinks that technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics, while some others may have the opposite view. From my perspective, i fundamentally agree with the speaker.

Firstly, no one can deny that technologies are playing a more and more important role in society and influence people's living styles at the same time. With the development of technologies, we may find the way of each person's living and working is different from each other. Jonestrone, president and CEO of MAT, a distinguished and well-known（这个两个不是同一个意思嘛） company in Massachusetts, illustrates this brilliantly in the following quotes (and I paragraph)," people's living styles are affected seriously by technologies." Consequently, we know the importance of technologies, for its affect to ourselves.

Secondly, not only to the citizen but also to countries' customs（这个状语使用得似乎不恰当，至少to应该换成for）, we should take technologies into account. For example, we all know Christmas Day is a festival in American（不止是American有Christmas吧）, but the young Chinese also celebrate this festival. Thanks to technologies, we can learn more from internet and social customs are effected by each country at the same time. Besides festival, technologies also effect the communication between each country in the world. For instance, the plane is becoming a more important way for vacation and, in this way（the plane is becoming a way???）, people learn more about different countries customs and their national customs also spread to this country（which country?）. （这个例子逻辑上跳了好几层啊）From above, we also can know the affect of technologies to each country.

Thirdly, just like each coin has two sides, we also should know the disadvantages of technologies. The technologies let people communicate with others much less and the competition occupies more position in people's heart. In addition, although the technologies can affect the social customs and ethics, the fact what can determines it is people themselves willing. Form example, if people all can realize themselves clearly, the Network hacker will not appear（to be honest，没看懂）. So we should not put（pay） too much attention to technologies（这句话也太那个了吧……我们花这么大力气发展科技是为了什么呀？）.

To sum up, due to the aforementioned reasons, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any single of them, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that technologies influence but social customs and ethics, but we also take technologies seriously.