（8.10）issue147【超越自我小组】第六次作业

hermituforestUID: 2354296

TOPIC: ISSUE147 - "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
WORDS: 615          TIME: 01:27:45          DATE: 2008-8-10 17:06:16
I do not agree with the speaker that "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."

To demonstrate it better, we may first find out the similarity and the differences between the tradition and the modernization to see what actually changed during the long history. The main reason why traditional society differ from modern society is because the improvement of science and technology, which is the causation of other changes. Let us see some period in big society transformation. First of all, see the differences between the primitive society and the slave society. Most people believe the loss of all their property leads people to form as a slave. But if think in slave holder's view, it is enough remaining property to feed other people that made slavery possible. What made this remaining property is the technology, like the mental implement, farming knowledge and hunting technology, which made them to produce enough food.

And then, it is clear that Industry Revolution leaded the feudal society to the capitalist society. We know it better because it just happened in the last 300 years. So we may analyze it to indicate the changes between the tradition and modernization. First, the life style changed. Industry took place of agriculture that had become the primary mode of production, which made most people move into the city. Living in the city is quite different from the life in the country. For example, the neighborhood relationship became less intimate. Second, the ethnics changed. Like women, who are believed as the house-wife working only in the home are forced to work in the factory because the labor demands. Their economical independent made them to search a way to get rid of the restriction of their husband. The fighting for women’s rights began. Third, the education changed. In the ancient Greece, people educate to an omnipotent one like Plato and Aristotle who can almost name as philosophy, physicist, biologist, and so on. But as the knowledge became so large that human’s brain cannot deal all of them, we educate our children to specialists, which made more cooperation among others. These are the differences between the tradition and modernization.

Apart from the differences, there are something nerve changed during the improvement of the technology. The most important one is the objective law. Nature laws like gravity never alter along with any social change. So is the basic humanity. Helping others is virtuous; killing is evil; no matter what time one must eat food for survive; no matter how flourish one must sleep for rest. And the national characters also have nothing to do with the changes. The Industry Revolution killed French king, but did not kill their romance; it made British attain many colonies, but did not help them gain more humor. Some theory such as the Art Of Law written by Chinese strategist Sun Zi are still used in modern business activities. These are the similarities between tradition and modernization.

When we understood the similarities and the differences between tradition and modernization, we may now find it is a complex question. We need not make a choice between them because the similarities all through human development; also we should distinguish of them for the living differences to fit the modern life. Take biology research as an example, the similarities between tradition and modernization are the physics laws, the searching spirit, and do less harm to the experimental animals. And the differences between tradition and modernization are the new facilities, the more cooperation with other scientists, and the specialists rather than omnipotent people to do it. What we should do is accept the similarities and choose the modern way of their differences.

感觉好难~~写得好烂。。。望狠拍。。。

啊拉UID: 2527432

TOPIC: ISSUE147 - "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."WORDS: 615          TIME: 01:27:45          DATE: 2008-8-10 17:06:16

I do not agree with the speaker that "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."

To demonstrate it better, we may first find out the similarity and the differences between the tradition and the modernization to see what actually changed during the long history. The main reason why traditional society differ from modern society is because the improvement of science and technology, which is the causation of other changes. Let us see some period in big society transformation. First of all, see the differences between the primitive society and the slave society. Most people believe the loss of all their property leads people to form as a slave. But if think in slave holder's view, it is enough remaining property to feed other people that made slavery possible. What made this remaining property is the technology, like the mental implement, farming knowledge and hunting technology, which made them to produce enough food. (很宏伟的开头,从科技进步的角度导出传统和现代化的差异,但是实战中这种开头显得有些危险…很难保证能够充分展开,从而导致跑题)

And then, it is clear that Industry Revolution leaded the feudal society to the capitalist society. We know it better because it just happened in the last 300 years. So we may analyze it to indicate the changes between the tradition and modernization. First, the life style changed. Industry took place of agriculture that had become the primary mode of production, which made most people move into the city. Living in the city is quite different from the life in the country. For example, the neighborhood relationship became less intimate. Second, the ethnics changed. Like women, who are believed as the house-wife working only in the home are forced to work in the factory because the labor demands. Their economical independent made them to search a way to get rid of the restriction of their husband. The fighting for women’s rights began. Third, the education changed. In the ancient Greece, people educate to an omnipotent one like Plato and Aristotle who can almost name as philosophy, physicist, biologist, and so on. But as the knowledge became so large that human’s brain cannot deal all of them, we educate our children to specialists, which made more cooperation among others. These are the differences between the tradition and modernization. (强调了传统演变和现代化进程,在工业革命的框架下更能说明这一点,但是文章写到现在观点仍不够明确,首段仅仅用I do not agree with 来说明而紧跟着的是气势恢宏的两端,不免让人引起担心和怀疑..)

Apart from the differences, there are something nerve changed during the improvement of the technology. The most important one is the objective law. Nature laws like gravity never alter along with any social change. So is the basic humanity. Helping others is virtuous; killing is evil; no matter what time one must eat food for survive; no matter how flourish one must sleep for rest. And the national characters also have nothing to do with the changes. The Industry Revolution killed French king, but did not kill their romance; it made British attain many colonies, but did not help them gain more humor. Some theory such as the Art Of Law written by Chinese strategist Sun Zi are still used in modern business activities. These are the similarities between tradition and modernization. (这段显得牵强了,上举的例子部分超出了传统和现代化的界限…让人感觉奇怪,还有就是本段要强调的是这种never changed还是the similarities between…还是稍显匆忙了)

When we understood the similarities and the differences between tradition and modernization, we may now find it is a complex (到现在居然发现这个问题很复杂…那上面的论述实在说什么…越说越复杂么…) question. We need not make a choice between them because the similarities all through human development; also we should distinguish of them for the living differences to fit the modern life. Take biology research as an example, the similarities between tradition and modernization are the physics laws, the searching spirit, and do less harm to the experimental animals. And the differences between tradition and modernization are the new facilities, the more cooperation with other scientists, and the specialists rather than omnipotent people to do it. What we should do is accept the similarities and choose the modern way of their differences. (结尾还在举例子…太仓促了…)

既然文章的切入点是说的difference and similarities, 那就应该从题目中的incompatible 入手.文章整体把握感很强,思路也很开阔,但是总让人觉得作者的观点不明确.仅仅是不同意原文不足以反应这篇文章的精髓.两者中是否要选择一个取决于两者的矛盾是否不可调和.文章说了共同性和不同性,但却没有证明为何因此而不可调节从而导致不能驳斥作者We need to choose between them 的观点,这和前面气势恢宏的展开导致后面无法迅速进入主题分析也是有关系的.建议老鼠以后要适当控制时间~在规定时间内充分表达自己的观点才是胜利,否则无论怎么恢宏的论述都无法充分表达自己的思想.以上纯属个人意见~~~欢迎继续讨论~~~~

zugurrrUID: 2482827

To demonstrate it better, we may first find out the similarity and the differences between the tradition and the modernization to see what actually changed during the long history. The main reason why traditional society differ from modern society is because the improvement of science and technology, which is the causation of other changes. Let us see some period in big society transformation. First of all, see the differences between the primitive society and the slave society. Most people believe the loss of all their property leads people to form as a slave. But if think in slave holder's view, it is enough remaining property to feed other people that made slavery possible（这是奴隶主的观点吗，怎么像马克思的观点）. What made this remaining property is the technology, like the mental implement, farming knowledge and hunting technology, which made them to produce enough food. (tradition和modernizaiton齐全了，还有个impatible呢)

And then, it is clear that Industry Revolution leaded the feudal society to the capitalist society. We know it better because it just happened in the last 300 years. So we may analyze it to indicate the changes between the tradition and modernization（这该是Ts 吧，可题目是能不能和谐的问题，不是传统和现代的变化。）. First, the life style changed. Industry took place of agriculture that had become the primary mode of production, which made most people move into the city. Living in the city is quite different from the life in the country. For example, the neighborhood relationship became less intimate. Second, the ethnics changed. Like women, who are believed as the house-wife working only in the home are forced to work in the factory because the labor demands. Their economical independent made them to search a way to get rid of the restriction of their husband. The fighting for women’s rights began. Third, the education changed. In the ancient Greece, people educate to an omnipotent one like Plato and Aristotle who can almost name as philosophy, physicist, biologist, and so on. But as the knowledge became so large that human’s brain cannot deal all of them, we educate our children to specialists, which made more cooperation among others. These are the differences between the tradition and modernization.（看不出这句是总结还是新论点）

Apart from the differences, there are something nerve （不懂了）changed during the improvement of the technology. The most important one is the objective law. Nature laws like gravity never alter along with any social change(例子跟文章有关系吗). So is the basic humanity. Helping others is virtuous; killing is evil; no matter what time one must eat food for survive; no matter how flourish one must sleep for rest. And the national characters also have nothing to do with the changes. The Industry Revolution killed French king, but did not kill their romance; it made British attain many colonies, but did not help them gain more humor. Some theory such as the Art Of Law written by Chinese strategist Sun Zi are still used in modern business activities. These are the similarities between tradition and modernization.（。。。我实在找不出你的分论点，就像我找不出你的总论点一样~~~）

When we understood the similarities and the differences between tradition and modernization, we may now find it is a complex question（弱弱的问一句，关于题目 incompatible，你好像每个明确的观点）. We need not make a choice（如是你说的，他们是不同时期的同种东西，就应该只有一个出现在人们生活里，或是混合体，但那也是有舍有去的啊。） between them because the similarities all through human development; also we should distinguish of them for the living differences to fit the modern life. Take biology research as an example, the similarities between tradition and modernization are the physics laws, the searching spirit, and do less harm to the experimental animals. And the differences between tradition and modernization are the new facilities, the more cooperation with other scientists, and the specialists rather than omnipotent people to do it. What we should do is accept the similarities and choose the modern way of their differences.

hyukiezhuUID: 2291070

To demonstrate it better, we may first find out the similarity and the differences between the tradition and the modernization to see what actually changed during the long history. The main reason why traditional society differ from modern society is because the improvement of science and technology, which is the causation of other changes. Let us see some period in big society transformation. First of all, see the differences between the primitive society and the slave society（有语法问题，无主语）. Most people believe the loss of all their property leads people to form as a slave（？）. But if think in slave holder's view（think in sb’s view? 怪怪的think in sb’s position好像好点），, it is enough remaining property to feed other people that made slavery possible（语法有问题）. What made this remaining property is the technology, （.）like the mental implement, farming knowledge and hunting technology, which made them to（去掉make sb. Do sth.） produce enough food. （开头看篇幅有点长，用例子引出论点的确不俗套，但是还是觉得不太符合论证习惯）

And then, it is clear that Industry Revolution leaded the feudal society to the capitalist society. We know it better because it just happened in the last 300 years. So we may analyze it to indicate the changes between the tradition and modernization. First, the life style changed. Industry took place of agriculture that had become the primary mode of production, which made most people move into the city. Living in the city is quite different from the life in the country(side). For example, the neighborhood relationship became less intimate. Second, the ethnics changed. Like（不用like吧， women是主语，有like句子就没有主语了） women, who are believed as the house-wife working only in the(不用in the, home是adv.) home are forced to work in the factory because （of） the labor demands. Their economical independent made them to search a way to get rid of the restriction of their husband. The fighting（struggle） for women’s rights began. Third, the education changed. In the ancient Greece, people (应该用被动语态) educate to an omnipotent one like Plato and Aristotle who can almost name as philosophy, physicist, biologist, and so on. But as the knowledge became so large（knowledge 不能用large形容把？）that human’s brain cannot deal （with） all of them, we educate our children to specialists, which made more cooperation among others. These are the differences between the tradition and modernization.

Apart from the differences, there are（is） something nerve changed during the improvement of the technology. The most important one is the objective law. Nature laws like gravity never alter along with any social change. So is the basic humanity. Helping others is virtuous; killing is evil; no matter what time one must eat food for survive; no matter how flourish one must sleep for rest（？）. And the national characters also have nothing to do with the changes. The Industry Revolution killed French king, but did not kill their romance; it made British attain many colonies, but did not help them gain more humor. Some theory such as the Art Of Law written by Chinese strategist Sun Zi are still used in modern business activities. These are the similarities between tradition and modernization.（这段写得很好，有自己的特点）

When we understood the similarities and the differences between tradition and modernization, we may now find it is a complex question. We need not make a choice between them because the similarities （are）all through human development; also we should distinguish of(去掉) them for the living differences to fit the modern life. Take biology research as an example, the similarities between tradition and modernization are the physics laws, the searching spirit, and do less harm to the experimental animals. And the differences between tradition and modernization are the new facilities（?）, the more cooperation with other scientists,（去掉，） and the specialists rather than omnipotent people to do it（这句话好像有语法问题）. What we should do is accept the similarities and choose the modern way of their differences.

进步比我第一次看明显的多，恭喜恭喜。语言错误明显少多了，内容也丰富多了。
例子内容值得学习，我打算背你几句话。
标出问号的地方是我不太明白的地方不一定不对，只是我不太理解。