寄托天下
查看: 999|回复: 3
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[a习作temp] 超越自我小组~argument25~第7次 [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
211
注册时间
2008-8-5
精华
0
帖子
1
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2008-8-11 16:45:35 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
题目:ARGUMENT25 - The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.

"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."
字数:473          用时:00:34:13          日期:2008-8-11 16:31:01

Although the author of this argument suggests sincerely that Hopewell (HP) should build a golf course and resort hotel to improve the economy, this assertion seems naive. I find some logical problems in this argument so I strongly recommend the mayor of the town should go back home and forget the works in the government.

The author's conclusion is based on a precondition that golf course and resort hotel can improve economy and generate additional tax revenues. But I cannot find any evidence to show this precondition is right. Only give an example in town of Ocean View (OV) cannot convince me that it will also happen in HP. Perhaps the OV is a tourism city so the golf course and resort hotel can help attracting more tourists and bring more businesses. And it is also possible that HP is an industrial city so the golf course and resort hotel may never attract the tourist because the environment in HP is so bad. So forget the tourists or tax revenues. They are daydream because tourists and businessman hate the environment here.

Even if the golf course and resort hotel do attract more tourist and businesses, I cannot agree with the speaker that it is the best way to. For example, HP can enact some policies to stimulate the business and it may attract more businesses. Or perhaps HP can build some artificial resorts likes great buildings to attract more tourists. I believe these ways can also help improving the economy and generate additional tax revenues. What's more, the author fails to consider the cost of build a golf course and resort hotel. These buildings always cost a lot of money, so I'm afraid that the HP may not have the so much money to build them.

Finally, the example the author gives us about conditions in OV is problematic.  Two years is not an enough time to judge the result of such policy. Maybe next year people feel tired about the course and hotel so the tax revenues may even decreased. Or the golf course and resort hotel are not the main cause of the economics’ improving. Perhaps an ancient building was found in OV two years ago so people from every part of the world come to see the building. And we can also easily imagine that the business condition becomes better because the government enacts a lot of policy to help supporting the business. Or even the tax revenues have nothing to do with the golf course or resort hotel: the general economy improves every year, so it is obviously the tax revenues have raised. So HP should never imitate the OV because it is totally unnecessary.

In sum, the author's conclusion is not convincing. I believe he/she will change his/her mind or reconsider about the conclusion after reading this argument.

[ 本帖最后由 啊拉 于 2008-8-11 16:49 编辑 ]
0 0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
231
注册时间
2008-4-13
精华
0
帖子
1
沙发
发表于 2008-8-13 08:22:22 |只看该作者

from 鸡

"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."
字数:473          用时:00:34:13          日期:2008-8-11 16:31:01


Although the author of this argument suggests sincerely that Hopewell (HP) should build a golf course and resort hotel to improve the economy, this assertion seems naive. I find some logical problems in this argument so I strongly recommend the mayor of the town should go back home and forget the works in the government(非得这么感情充沛的写吗).

The author's conclusion is based on a precondition that golf course and resort hotel can improve economy and generate additional tax revenues. But I cannot find any evidence to show this precondition is right. Only give an example in town of Ocean View (OV) cannot convince me that it will also happen in HP. Perhaps the OV is a tourism city so the golf course and resort hotel can help attracting more tourists and bring more businesses. And it is also possible that HP is an industrial city so the golf course and resort hotel may never attract the tourist because the environment in HP is so bad(因果逻辑不明显,工业城市里高尔夫球场就不能吸引旅游者吗). So forget the tourists or tax revenues. They are daydream because tourists and businessman hate the environment here(how do you conclude this?).

Even if the golf course and resort hotel do attract more tourist and businesses, I cannot agree with the speaker that it is the best way to. For example, HP can enact some policies to stimulate the business and it may attract more businesses. Or perhaps HP can build some artificial resorts likes great buildings to attract more tourists. I believe these ways can also help improving the economy and generate additional tax revenues. What's more, the author fails to consider the cost of build a golf course and resort hotel. These buildings always cost a lot of money, so I'm afraid that the HP may not have the so much money to build them.

Finally, the example the author gives us about conditions in(去掉) OV is problematic.  Two years is not an enough time to judge the result of such policy. Maybe next year people feel tired about the course and hotel so the tax revenues may even decreased. Or the golf course and resort hotel are not the main cause of the economics’ improving. Perhaps an ancient building was found in OV two years ago so people from every part of the world come to see the building. And we can also easily imagine that the business condition becomes better because the government enacts a lot of policy to help supporting the business. Or even the tax revenues have nothing to do with the golf course or resort hotel: the general economy improves every year, so it is obviously the tax revenues have raised. So HP should never imitate the OV because it is totally unnecessary(有个词叫 causal relationship 强烈推荐下哈).

In sum, the author's conclusion is not convincing. I believe he/she will change his/her mind or reconsider about the conclusion after reading this argument.

总的说,抓住的关键部分,而且在30min完成,比我厉害多了, 细节多注意下就OK了。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
0
寄托币
363
注册时间
2007-8-13
精华
0
帖子
9
板凳
发表于 2008-8-13 19:43:41 |只看该作者

Comment by Snake

Although(Deleted) the author of this argument suggests sincerely that Hopewell (HP) should build a golf course and resort hotel to improve the economy, this assertion seems naive (attempt to use other adj.). I find some logical problems in this argument so I strongly recommend the mayor of the town should go back home and forget the works in the government. (You must not use this sentence, although the introduction is not so important for ETS.)

The author's conclusion is based on a precondition that golf course and resort hotel can improve economy and generate additional tax revenues. But I cannot find any evidence to show this precondition is right. Only give an example in town of Ocean View (OV) cannot convince me that it will also happen in HP. Perhaps the OV is a tourism city so the golf course and resort hotel can help attracting more tourists and bring more businesses. And it is also possible that HP is an industrial city so the golf course and resort hotel may never attract the tourist because the environment in HP is so bad. So forget the tourists or tax revenues. They are daydream because tourists and businessman hate the environment here.
(Good. You grasp the important flaw on author’s precondition.)

Even if the golf course and resort hotel do attract more tourist and businesses, I cannot agree with the speaker that it is the best way to in HP. For example, HP can enact some policies to stimulate the business and it may attract more businesses. Or perhaps HP can build some artificial resorts likes great buildings to attract more tourists. I believe these ways can also help improving the economy and generate additional tax revenues. What's more, the author fails to consider the cost of build a golf course and resort hotel. These buildings always cost a lot of money, so I'm afraid that the HP may not have the so much money to build them.
(You grasp the other crucial flaw on author’s conclusion. But your attack is not strong enough and logical. Maybe you can say HP is a business centre, and then the government of HP should enact a better policy to attractive more business and consolidate its main business center position. It is also possible that HP is an important logistic centre, people here should build a better harbour or airport in order to have more business.)

Finally, the example the author gives us about conditions in OV is problematic.  Two years is not an enough time to judge the result of such policy. Maybe next year people feel tired about the course and hotel so the tax revenues may even decreased. Or the golf course and resort hotel are not the main cause of the economics’ improving. Perhaps an ancient building was found in OV two years ago so people from every part of the world come to see the building. And we can also easily imagine that the business condition becomes better because the government enacts a lot of policy to help supporting the business. Or even the tax revenues have nothing to do with the golf course or resort hotel: the general economy improves every year, so it is obviously the tax revenues have raised. So HP should never imitate the OV because it is totally unnecessary.
(Agree with cock, causal relationship is a better term. Basically you get the flaw, what you need to do is to evaluate and arrange your points in a better logical order.)

In sum, the author's conclusion is not convincing. I believe he/she will change his/her mind or reconsider about the conclusion after reading this argument.
(I think you are a confident boy. CONFIDENCE is not bad, but you should not be assertive especially in an examination.)


If i make any mistake, please feel free to let me know.




[ 本帖最后由 apjack 于 2008-8-13 19:45 编辑 ]

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
211
注册时间
2008-8-5
精华
0
帖子
1
地板
发表于 2008-8-13 23:45:41 |只看该作者
啊~今天看了两位的评价~~思路顿时又开阔了不少~~而且措辞以后也会自然些和谨慎些~Thax 两位~

使用道具 举报

RE: 超越自我小组~argument25~第7次 [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
超越自我小组~argument25~第7次
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-868196-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部