COMEON作文小组9月5号作业--verabbits

verabbitsUID: 2360342

In old days, it's our Chinese tradition to live in an extended family. And that life-style often contributes to several conflicts between family members. As long as the individualism gradually influences the society, most of people live in urban area tend to live in smaller families, which contain only parents and their children. This change of life-style provides more privacy space for each small family, and makes people feel more comfortable and free to live as they wish to.

  As we all know, there might be thousands of conflicts an extended family could produce. For example, you might want to get some sleep after lunch, but your cousin plays violin in the next room, even worse, his skill need to be promoted badly and the harsh voice keeps on hurting your ears. See, the distance between people is needed during our daily lives; otherwise, we might easily affect each other in an unpleasingway.

  Besides, living in a big family always means sacrificing will of individuals. When I was a little girl, we used to live with my grandparents, uncles, and my cousins. We have every meal together, and the dishes are cooked to meet the taste of my grandpa only. All of us like spicy food or not, have no choice but to eat food that is very hot. And, because of we have only one TV set and grandpa use to watch news after dinner, my cousins and I got no chance to watch cartoon programs broadcasting on the same time.

  However, problems of daily life might be only trifles. But when you confront big decision like finding the first job after graduation or choosing the person who you marry with, intervention from members in the extended family might really annoy you. Image that you fall in love with some one, but he or she is from a family that is enemy of yours, then your grandparents force you to leave your lover, like the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. That did happen in many extended families in past time.

  The society now value the importance of individual will more than the past, and that is a good thing to see extended families gradually disappear, we get more freedom and save friendship between relations by maintain an appropriate distance from each other.

鞠躬，求砖ing~~~

verabbitsUID: 2360342

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[ 本帖最后由 verabbits 于 2008-9-6 10:42 编辑 ]

krasovskyUID: 2232937

In old days, it's our Chinese tradition to live in (with?) an extended family. And that life-style often contributes to several conflicts between family members. As long as the individualism gradually influences the society, most of people live in urban area tend to live in smaller families, which contain only parents and their children. This change of life-style provides more privacy space for each small family, and makes people feel more comfortable and free to live as they wish to.

  As we all know, there might be thousands of conflicts an extended family could produce. For example, you might want to get some sleep after lunch, but your cousin plays violin in the next room, even worse, his skill need to be promoted badly and the harsh voice keeps on hurting your ears. See, the distance between people is needed during our daily lives; otherwise, we might easily affect each other in an unpleasing way.

  Besides, living in a big family always means sacrificing will of individuals. When I was a little girl, we used to live with my grandparents, uncles, and my cousins. We have every meal together, and the dishes are cooked to meet the taste of my grandpa only. (这里似乎应该加个No matter whether，似乎是说不管我们爱不爱吃辛辣食物，我们都要吃）All of us like spicy food or not, （we）have no choice but to eat food that is very hot. And, because of we have only one TV set and grandpa use to watch news after dinner, my cousins and I got no chance to watch cartoon programs broadcasting on the same time.

  However, problems of daily life might be only trifles. But when you confront big decision like finding the first job after graduation or choosing the person who you marry with, intervention from members in the extended family might really annoy you.(这个观点好) Image（Imagining） that you fall in love with some one, but he or she is from a family that is enemy of yours, then your grandparents force you to leave your lover, like the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. That did happen in many extended families in past time.
  The society now value the importance of individual will more than the past, and that is a good thing to see extended
families gradually disappear, we get more freedom and save friendship between relations by maintain an appropriate distance from each other.

这个题目似乎是让我们论述extended family在当下是否还象过去那样重要，楼主的文章似乎一直是在说和extended family住在一起的诸多让人不愉快的地方，个人感觉有些跑题。但从就论证和extended family住在一起有多么不爽这个方面来看的话分论点还是提炼的挺好的。个人感觉楼主语言方面还有一些minor errors，再细心一些就好了。我水平也不高，修改的不对，说的不对的地方请谅解。

[ 本帖最后由 krasovsky 于 2008-9-6 11:32 编辑 ]

verabbitsUID: 2360342

krasovsky, 谢谢你~~~你太好了~~~

意见很中肯，我写完以后自己也觉得有些偏题，是我对题理解的还不到位。

还有就是那些语言上的小错误，我很粗心的人，自己老是注意不到，而且语法水平很有限。。。

总之，太感谢你了。。。

吃完饭后去要去拜读你的作业哦~~~

qawsedUID: 2359935

lz完成修改任务哦https://bbs.gter.net/thread-875725-1-1.html

krasovskyUID: 2232937

我水平也有限，大家一起努力吧