comeon----作文小组ammyana 9.15作业

ammyanaUID: 2529083

Tradition or innovation?This is a question which has been bothering us because of the technology development and espacially when it applied to the information industry.

I cannot imagine how people could survive without the information sources ,for the inimitable advantages of e-book have affected people's daily life almost everywhere.If you have a MP4 or cellphone with the function of reading e-books,it is so convenient to carry it all the way that when you feel boring waiting for friends, you can take it out and do some reading.Not only the portability attracts lots of people,but the huge amount of information has broaden our horizons about the world outside and provided wide perspectives from other people as well.With the help of internet, downloading all kinds of books online never fails to be a perfect way to get what you want.

Although we cannot ingnore the advantages which e-books bring to us,the trational printed books cannot be replaced within 20 years.First of all,it is more avaliable to preserve the information with the form of paper,for reading is not just a process of skimming ,and then forgetting.The library has kept all kinds of printed books including the wisdom of our ancestors,the process of the the world's development,the record of  changes about our nature and culture,which the e-books can never compare with for the randomness of its contents.Besides,reading,in terms of its writer and reader,is a matter of interactive of communication with heart and soul.The fast pace of modern life cut off the access to touch the trully reading,though it is quick to get numerous information from webs,telephones,MP4s,you'll never enjoy reading , thinking,and sharing ideas with your comrades just like our seniors did few decades ago.What's more,there are also problems about people's health cannot be neglected,for keeping in front of a computer for over 1 hour can hurt your eyes and necks,worse still,the radiation from those electronics is another potential harmness to your body.But as far as the printed books concerned,you can take it up when feel well and put it down when you're tired.

All in all, people's customs of reading cannot be changed immediately within 20 years.We may take advantage of the efficiency which ebooks bring us,but in general sense,it is inadvisable to desert the traditional way of reading.

ansoncodeUID: 2528782

Tradition or innovation? This is a question which has been bothering us because of the technology development and espacially when it applied to the information industry.（这句话有点问题，想表达的东西太多了，建议分两句写，一上来就让人confused是大忌）

I cannot imagine how people could survive without the information sources, for the inimitable advantages of e-book have affected people's daily life almost everywhere. If you have a MP4 or cellphone with the function of reading e-books, it is so convenient to carry it all the way that when you feel boring waiting for friends, you can take it out and do some reading（干什么？）. Not only the portability attracts lots of people, but the huge amount of information has broaden our horizons about the world outside and provided wide perspectives from other people as well. With the help of internet, downloading all kinds of books online never fails to be a perfect way to get what you want. （电子书这个对立面找得很好，如果能加强detail充分论证和transition引导,效果更佳）

Although we cannot ingnore the advantages which e-books bring to us,the trational printed books cannot be replaced within 20 years. First of all,it is more avaliable to preserve the information with the form of paper, for reading is not just a process of skimming ,and then forgetting. （为什么是skimming,也有人精读甚至背诵的吧）The library has kept all kinds of printed books including the wisdom of our ancestors,the process of the the world's development,the record of  changes about our nature and culture,which the e-books can never compare with for the randomness of its contents.（这句话想说什么，电子书无法与打印书内容的随机性相比，没看懂）Besides,reading,in terms of its writer and reader,is a matter of interactive of communication with heart and soul.The fast pace of modern life cut off the access to touch the trully reading,though it is quick to get numerous information from webs,telephones,MP4s,you'll never enjoy reading , thinking,and sharing ideas with your comrades（counterpart） just like our seniors did few decades ago.（为什么纸质版的书比电子书给人的感觉好，你没有寻求深层次的原因，这是否源自人类本性的偏好）What's more,there are also problems about people's health cannot be neglected,for keeping in front of a computer for over 1 hour can hurt your eyes and necks,worse still,the radiation from those electronics is another potential harmness to your body.But as far as the printed books concerned,you can take it up when feel well and put it down when you're tired.（这里逻辑是有缺陷的，尽管电脑造成的损害是明显的，但是你的对比是partial的，我也可以说一个人坐在电脑面前半小时就起来走走，另外一个人看书眼睛凑的很近而且整天一动不动，更好的对比应该是相同时间相同强度电脑比打印书对相同体质的人的伤害大得多得多）（这段内容太多太杂了，依你现在思维和打字速度，完全可以写一段让步+两段支持形成经典的结构的）

All in all, people's customs of reading cannot be changed immediately within 20 years.We may take advantage of the efficiency which ebooks bring us, but in general sense, it is inadvisable to desert the traditional way of reading.(结尾极好！)

楼主观点自然，语言地道，值得我学习
但我想提意见的是结构，你的第三段是两点正面优点+负面缺点的论证结构，是可以独立成为一篇文章的，这样显得整体杂乱，且观点过多导致每一个观点的论证不够充分，完全可以选其中两点独立成段作充分论证，广为推荐的三段式的经典结构被无数实战经验被证明是ETS认可的最佳行文架构，感觉楼主的思维和语言流利程度完全可以写一段让步+两段支持的结构，个人观点，仅供参考，如果有兴趣，可以看看我的文章

[ 本帖最后由 ansoncode 于 2008-9-15 21:58 编辑 ]

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