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[活动] COMEON作文小组------candyam 9月24日作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-9-25 13:04:38 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Do you agree or disagree: The best way to travel is in a group led by a guide. (2006.11.18)
Recently, there is a controversy concerning whether the best way to travel is in a group led by a tourist guide.  Arguing for the best way to travel is in a group led by a guide are those people who hold the opinion that travel individually is not safe because tourists do not familiar with terrains , so they may get lost.  As far as I am concerned, however, the best is travel with some friends or family, but not join a tourist group with a guide.
To begin with, it is undeniable that travel in a group led by a guide has some virtues. For example, since the guide is familiar with the places, he or she can lead the people to the most fascinating places directly and show you how to appreciate the natural scenery from different perspectives or tell some interesting stories about historical remains.
Nevertheless, in my opinion, I prefer to travel without a tourist guide, just myself or with some of my friends or my family.  One compelling reason supporting my point is that when people travel without a tourist guide, they can enjoy the pleasure of exploration, discovery as well as surprising.  For instance, once I went to Phenix Mountain with some friends, we did not join a group or hired a guide, but we did buy a map.  The mountain is high and just after a heavy rain, therefore the mountain is surrounded by clouds and fog.  We got so excited because the travel was more like an exploration and since we could not see the views far away from us, there was always landscape scenery of natural beauty surprised us.
An additional reason is that people travel by themselves do not be restricted by time and schedule set down by the guide, they have more freedom to visit whatever they are interested in and can handle the time by themselves.  Moreover, some tourist guides always lead people to tourist shops and recommend commodities to tourists, which sometimes is so boring because people want to spend more time on the natural scenery or the historical remains themselves rather than shopping.
In conclusion, although the considerable benefits that travel in a group with a guide provides, they cannot compete with travel with self-help travel with friends and family, when both the pleasure of exploration and freedom are taken into account.  Therefore, travel with friends and family without a guide is the best way to travel.
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发表于 2008-9-25 15:53:24 |只看该作者
Recently, there is a controversy concerning whether the best way to travel is in a group led by a tourist guide.  Arguing for the best way to travel is in a group led by a guide(用个it就行了,重复显得啰嗦) are those people who hold the opinion that travel individually is not safe because tourists do not familiar with terrains , so they may get lost.  As far as I am concerned, however, the best is travel with some friends or family, but not join a tourist group with a guide.(观点明确,先提出问题,然后表明自己立场,蛮好的开头)EFL|GREud+S)a2I1U
To begin with, it is undeniable that travel in a group led by a guide has some virtues. For example, since the guide is familiar with the places, he or she can lead the people to the most fascinating places directly and show you how to appreciate the natural scenery from different perspectives or tell some interesting stories about historical remains.
(to begin with作谓语,貌似这样放到状语的位置,给个链接http://wenwen.soso.com/z/q97503210.htm自己看吧)

`)U*_(@3` s-_8d

Nevertheless, in my opinion, I prefer to travel without a tourist guide, just myself or with some of my friends or my family.  One compelling reason supporting my point is that when people travel without a tourist guide, they can enjoy the pleasure of exploration, discovery as well as surprising. (好想法,我怎么没想到!!!) For instance, once I went to Phenix Mountain with some friends, we did not join a group or hired a guide, but we did buy(注意语法) a map.  The mountain is high(似乎用huge更好) and just (we got there )after a heavy rain, therefore the mountain is surrounded by clouds and fog.  We got so excited because(把because换成that,感觉一下) the travel was more like an exploration and since we could not see the views far away from us, there was always landscape scenery of natural beauty surprised us.bbs.gter.netf4[P$hS/L
An additional reason is that people travel by themselves do not be restricted by time and schedule set down by the guide, they have more freedom to visit whatever they are interested in and can handle the time by themselves.  Moreover, some tourist guides always lead people to tourist shops and recommend commodities to tourists, which sometimes is so boring because people want to spend more time on the natural scenery or the historical remains themselves rather than shopping.,wa"{9b'mI
In conclusion, although the considerable benefits that travel in a group with a guide provides, they cannot compete with travel with self-help travel with friends and family, when both the pleasure of exploration and freedom are taken into account.  Therefore, travel with friends and family without a guide is the best way to travel.

行文很流畅,阅读起来很顺,观点也很独特,论据不错,在注意一些细节,就完美了。 个人观点,供参考。
with the wind, i beside you

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板凳
发表于 2008-9-26 11:08:25 |只看该作者
流畅很多,我就喜欢流畅的。
另外多看看官方指南的评分标准,看看那些的了4分,3分的人都是翻了什么错误。你有没有犯相关的错误。
不要总是看满分需要什么条件。

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RE: COMEON作文小组------candyam 9月24日作业 [修改]

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