！！11.9就考，现在第一篇作文。。大家拍拍！！！进来的攒RP！

古月一囡UID：2341135

4.21 Movies and TV have more postive or negative effect  on young people’s behaviors.

The creation of every entertainment, whatever drama created hundereds of years ago or movies and televisions decades ago, will draw controvercial debate on its influences to people life, and without exception, all of the novel inventions have been excused of depriving human being’s valuable time and keeping them away form their family. But, does all the arugment stable and just beacause of its negative effects on people, we can easily say that they are harmful to our sociey regardless of their potential and critical benefit?

Addmittedly, to discusses the impact movies and televisions brought to our daily lives, most people would agree that nowhere in history has the issue been more visible that people are spending more and more time than they have expected in front of movies and televisons. Lots of people in the world, expecially those without having jobs, have indulged in the virtual reality described in the movies and televisons, and because of these woser situation around the whole world, scholars, and even public residents now, began to accuse the facillities, such as the televisons, musemes and other newly technology, as the arch-criminal of this dis-action crime(不作为犯罪). To be honest, howerver, is this the true reason that caused people bacaming soft potatoes or just the excuse to our languidness? We can just ask ourselves a question: suppose there were no movie, no televison in the world, would we employ the time we used to spend on these entertainment to work or learing? Obviously, not! What we may do is to find some other entertaiment to compensate this loss or maybe even worse—to be criminals in truly sense. As we all know and pretend to be unconcious, it is ourselves, not the movies or televisions, be responsible for indifference to our relatives and family, not to mension the negative effects these technoloies act on young people from this perspect.

Moreover, hardly had we focused on the benefits movies and televsions had on young people’s behaviors. It is the movie-The day afer tomorrow that tells the young about the catastrophic result of polution in the world and teaches them to cherish today’s environment; it is the televisons people watch everyday spreads the news everywhere in the world to everyone makes us catch up with the world; it is exactly these entertainment that make us happy when we are sad, creative when we are boaring and kowledgeable when we know nothing. Movies and televisons, expecially, has pull our lives forward the better direction.

In conlusion, the negative effects of movies and televisions we used to aclaim most frequently is no longer exsit, and more potencial benefits of them are still waiting for us to explore,so, it is easy to say movies and televions have more positive effects on young people as asked above.

470words
大家看看这样写可以嘛？我作文一直不好，N久没有写过作文了~不知道这种水平大概有多少分呢？
11.9就要考了，之前病了，昨天才开始准备，这样的水平大概有多少分？
谢谢大家了~说话的都RP爆发！

ps，我就是不会举例子，怎么办，像这种会不会很虚？
还有，我想论述的会不会很没logic？

古月一囡UID：2341135

不能有提下建议的么？。。。。。
我真的是一点底都没有啊！

liruipkuUID：2537882

感觉结构不好，除了第2段，其他3段字数太少了啊。
如果是4段的话，建议5句+8句+8句+5句或者再多点，当然了这不是固定不变的，但是字数必须得够，如果你字数就不够，那很难得高分。

tiff163UID：2308460

30分钟要是能写出这些就可以了,毕竟倒是还要重新构思，除非LZ185道全写了

abdmenUID：2536727

3楼是说字数不够吗
479足够了！
多举些例子也可以的，可以是一般性例子也可以是具体的例子

hyacinthUID：2184492

如果lz从5月份开始就能有针对性的练习举例子  现在就不用这么着急了 :rolleyes:

iBT总的来说是语言考试  不会像SAT和AW那样抠逻辑

yzsc_jamesUID：2504211

我也10月9的  作文还没怎么好好准备   希望大家都好运吧。。

古月一囡UID：2341135

版主果然好记性~
其实我有听您的话啊~
我按您说的学会了怎样SAT作文举例子。。。
可是，我觉得SAT准备的那些故事型的例子在IBT里面太不好用了~
BTW~这个字数还不够啊~我都担心我考试的时候这么多都写不出来。。。。

tiff163UID：2308460

听谁胡扯，479还不够作文就没满分的了，不是我说，考试时能写出400字就很不错了，300多字其实都够了，就看你要拿多少分

古月一囡UID：2341135

嗯，希望是这样~
谢谢啊~
字数，万恶的字数~
好在聊天聊出了打字速度。。。

mpromanusUID：2565872

The creation of every entertainment, whatever whether drama created hundereds of years ago or movies and televisions decades ago, will draw controversial debates on its influences to people's life lives, and without exception, all of the novel inventions have been excused prosecuted of for depriving human being’s' valuable time and keeping them away form their families.But However (but在书面语中不应该做句首), does are all the aruguments stable firm? and Just beacause of its (whose? or what's) negative effects on people, we cannot easily say conclude that they are harmful to our society regardless of their potential and critical benefits. (这么长还跑句的问句，我看了都昏，考官更不爱看了。考官也是普通人，一天看N篇同题目的作文，他们没时间也没那么好性子去慢慢猜意思是什么，多半是看不明白直接pass)

Addmittedly, to discusses the impact movies and televisions brought to our daily lives, most people would agree that nowhere in history has the issue been more visible that people are spending more and more time than they have expected in front of movie screens and televison sets (television有两个意思，作‘电视‘时不可数，作‘电视机‘可数. 题目中和本段开头都是不可数之意，但in front of后面要跟的应该是‘
电视机‘之意，要清楚区分). Lots of people in the world, especially those without having jobs, have indulged in the virtual reality described in the movies and televisons,and because of these such woser situations are getting worse around the whole world, scholars,and even public residents civil servants now, begin to accuse the facillities, such as the televison sets, museumes and other newly technology (这事情跟museum有什么关系?跟新科技又有什么关系?), as the arch-criminal of this dis-action crime nonfeasance (不作为犯罪) (通常在正式的描述罪名的时候后面不再加crime，the specific name of the act means it already, 再说法律上crime的定义很严格，如果你不是谈论法律学的专门例子，最好小心用词， because unemployment, intentional or forced, is NOT a crime. Saying it's a crime is only an exaggeration by politicians. Also, nonfeasance is not necessarily a crime). To be honest, howerver,is this the true reason that caused people to become bacaming soft couch potatoes or just the an excuse to our languidness? We can just ask ourselves a question: suppose there were no movies, no television in the world, would we employ put the time we used to spend on these entertainments to work or learning? Obviously, not! What we may do is to find some other form of entertaiment to compensate this loss or maybe even worse—to be criminals in truly a real sense. As we all know and but pretend to be unconcious unaware (unconscious 单用 means you're in a coma),it is ourselves, not the movies or televisions, be who are responsible for the indifference to our relatives and family, not to mention the negative effects these technologies act have on young people from this perspective. (才刚刚说电影和电视不是亲情疏远之原因，就接着说这些科技在这个方面对年轻人有坏影响。。这好像直接矛盾撒。况且问题是 电影和电视对年轻人的影响是好比较多还是坏比较多，不是 电影和电视造成的坏影响的真正原因是什么。你这也是典型的漂移，从 电影和电视造成人浪费时间不工作 开始就漂到 浪费时间，然后就开始讲 浪费时间 的原因其实是人类自己。。记住你的题目关键字是 电影和电视-年轻人-好 或者 电影电视-年轻人-不好，不是 电影和电视-社会问题-原因。。)

Moreover, hardly had we focused on the benefits movies and televisions had on young people’s behaviors. It is the movie-<The Day afer Tomorrow> that tells the young about the catastrophic results of pollution in the world and teaches them to cherish today’s environment; it is the televisions people watch everyday that spreads the news everywhere in the world to everyone and makes enables us to catch up with the world; it is exactly these entertainments that make us happy when we are sad, creative when we are boaring and kowledgeable when we know nothing. Movies and televisions,expecially, have puledl our lives towards the a better direction.(这段不错，例子举得挺好，语言也基本很流畅)

In conclusion, the negative effects of movies and televisions we used to aclaim most frequently is no longer exist, and more potential benefits of them are still waiting for us to explore,so, it is easy to say movies and televisions have more positive effects on young people as asked above.(俺替考官谢谢您还记得这儿有个题目哎。。:P 玩笑话，lz表当真，主要是第二段跑了，别的没啥)

总结:

1. 拼字啊拼字。。别的俺不说，起码television这字拼了N次也没拼上有点儿过分吧。。实在没底就直接照题目用TV。

2. 小心GRE思考方式用在托福里容易把自己先绕昏喽。。典型如第二段的问题。直接简单的逻辑就好了，不需要太全面，太深刻，太现实。

阿泰UID：209473

写的还是不错的

拼写。。。我就不说了