【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月11日作业

nickey0809UID: 2349468

12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月11日作业

第一次写作练习 用时两小时 而且很多次拼错了 好像长了点，请各问多提意见 跪谢
12.11日作业：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid as much as doctors, lawyers, and business leaders.

Nowadays, many people equate money to success: the more money they earn, the more successful they are. Someone acclaims the salary of teacher, which is controversial topic, should be raise to as much as doctor, lawyer and business leader. However, financial aspect is not the most important aspect of job, so I tend to believe that it's unnecessary to make such a change. Because teacher gain more than money from their job, such as sense of fulfillment, long vacation to rest and develop some interest, harmonious working environment and high job security, all of which money can't afford.
Many people choose to become a teacher because of moral and religion. Most of them can tell stories about a particular teacher who change their lives and inspire them to become the engineer of human soul. For instance, many teachers choose to devote themselves to working in a poor region of china to help the needy people to cultivate their offspring. They could make much more amount of money if they stay in prosperous area. Thire motivation of teaching is not the paycheck at the end of the month, but the smile on the face of children when they indulge in the occean of knowledge, and the look of joy of their parents when they see their children's progress and growing. As teachers, they can always deprive fulfillment and pleasure from their occupation.
Moreover, teacher, as a special job, has long summer and winter holiday, which is doctor, lawyer and other well pain jobs can't compare. This means more time can be spent staying with their family and doing what they like. Affluence can affordt many good things such as car and house, and provide the family members a comfortable life, but how much good does it if people who have to work day and night don't have time to enjoy the material and stay with their family. People with a well pay job will always pay more which money can't afford. Besides, teacher can use the holiday to develop some hobby such as fishing, dancing, growing flower or traveling, these will make their lives more colorful and interesting. By contrast, countless rich men regret that they had spent the majority of their adult lives earning huge sum of money and experienced the meaninglessness of it all. How pathetic and ironic that they ended up giving their money away.
Last but not the least, teacher are easier to have a company of their colleague and would be less worried about being fired. Most people will spent at least a third of their adult life at work, so the environment of workplace and relationship between coworkers is very important. One of my friends, a lawyer who have high salary, will stay with people who are unpleasant, and even worse, hostile in the same office or building. This depress will have a negative effect on his mental health, and a few more money in the bank account cannot compensate for this. With a harmonious environment, teacher can be always in a good mood and be more productive. The job security will also promote them to put more energy and time on preparing lessons.
As discuss above, I think the benefit of being a teacher is overweight the drawback of limited salarty. Of course, if the government could take a positive measure to improve the working condition and life level, more talented people will be abstracted to become teachers.


[ 本帖最后由 nickey0809 于 2008-12-31 21:36 编辑 ]

jackallen0714UID: 2510951

Nowadays, many people equate money to success: the more money they earn, the more successful they are. Someone acclaims the salary of teacher, which is controversial topic, should be raise to as much as doctor, lawyer and business leader. However, financial aspect is not the most important aspect of job, so I tend to believe that it's unnecessary to make such a change. Because teacher gain more than money from their job, such as sense of fulfillment, long vacation to rest and develop some interest, harmonious working environment and high job security, all of which money can't afford.

Many people choose to become a teacher because of moral and religion. Most of them can tell stories about a particular teacher who change their lives and inspire them to become the engineer of human soul. For instance, many teachers choose to devote themselves to working in a poor region of china to help the needy people to cultivate their offspring. They could make much more amount of money if they stay in prosperous area. Thire motivation of teaching is not the paycheck at the end of the month, but the smile on the face of children when they 貌似有贬义indulge in->immerse themselves in the occean of knowledge, and the look of joy of their parents when they see their children's progress and growing. As teachers, they can always deprive！！！ fulfillment and pleasure from their occupation.

Moreover, teacher, as a special job, has long summer and winter holiday, which is doctor, lawyer and other well pain jobs can't compare. This means more time can be spent 缺介词 staying with their family and doing what they like. Affluence can afford many good things such as car and house, and provide the family members a comfortable life, but how much good does it ？if people who have to work day and night don't have time to enjoy the material and stay with their family. People with a well pay job will always pay more which money can't afford. Besides, teacher can use the holiday to develop some hobby复数 such as fishing, dancing, growing flower or traveling, these will make their lives more colorful and interesting. By contrast, countless rich men regret that they had spent the majority of their adult lives earning huge sum of money and experienced the meaninglessness of it all. How pathetic and ironic that they ended up giving their money away.^2m8s n9?\ D

Last but not the least, teacher are easier to have a company of their colleague and would be less worried about being fired. Most people will spent at least a third of their adult life at work, so the environment of workplace and relationship between coworkers is very important. One of my friends, a lawyer who have high salary, will stay with people who are unpleasant, and even worse, hostile in the same office or building. This depress will have a negative effect on his mental health, and a few more money in the bank account cannot compensate for this.呵呵，李笑来185 With a harmonious environment, teacher can be always in a good mood and be more productive. The job security will also promote them to put more energy and time on preparing lessons.

As discuss above, I think the benefit of being a teacher is overweight the drawback of limited salarty. Of course, if the government could take a positive measure to improve the working condition and life level, more talented people will be abstracted to become teachers.

继续保持！刚开始不要担心时间，注意拼写，养成习惯很难改！

nickey0809UID: 2349468

万分感谢
这都被你看出来了，真是高手阿，之前是背了些李笑来的文章，所以脑袋里有印象就会写出来、
我会继续保持的
祝你成功通向向往的大学

达达摩摩UID: 2499908

    Nowadays, many people equate money to success: the more money they earn, the more successful they are. Someone acclaims the salary of teacher, which is controversial topic, should be raise to as much as doctor, lawyer and business leader. However, financial aspect is not the most important aspect of job, so I tend to believe that it's unnecessary to make such a change. Because teacher gain more than money from their job, such as sense of fulfillment, long vacation to rest and develop some interest, harmonious working environment and high job security, all of which money can't afford.
                 
                          Many people choose to become a teacher because of moral and religion. Most of them can tell stories about a particular teacher who change their lives and inspire them to become the engineer of human soul. For instance, many teachers choose to devote themselves to working in a poor region of china to help the needy people to cultivate their offspring. They could make much more amount of money if they stay in prosperous area. Their motivation of teaching is not the paycheck at the end of the month, but the smile on the face of children when they indulge in the occean有错 of knowledge, and the look of joy of their parents when they see their children's progress and growing. As teachers, they can always deprive. fulfillment and pleasure from their occupation.|

    Moreover, teacher, as a special job, has long summer and winter holiday, which is doctor, lawyer and other well pain jobs can't compare. This means more time can be spent 貌似差东东staying with their family（复数） and doing what they like. Affluence can afford many good things such as car and house, and provide the family members a（a 前面又是复数？？） comfortable life, but how much good does it ？if people who have to work day and night don't have time to enjoy the material and stay with their family. People with a well pay job will always pay more which money can't afford. Besides, teacher can use the holiday to develop some hobby复数 such as fishing, dancing, growing flower or traveling, these will make their lives more colorful and interesting. By contrast, countless rich men regret that they had spent the majority of their adult lives earning huge sum of money and experienced the meaninglessness of it all. How pathetic and ironic that they ended up giving their money away.^2m8s n9?\ D
.net |)E(h        Lj$G]B                            Last but not the least, teacher are easier to have a company of their colleague and would be less worried about being fired. Most people will spent at least a third of their adult life at work, so the environment of workplace and relationship between coworkers is very important. One of my friends, a lawyer who have high salary, will stay with people who are unpleasant, and even worse, hostile in the same office or building. This depress will have a negative effect on his mental health, and a few more money in the bank account cannot compensate for this. With a harmonious environment, teacher can be always in a good mood and be more productive. The job security will also promote them to put more energy and time on preparing lessons.bbs.gter.neth$]7w­]wG3c寄托家园 a9~I4_,dX7~
As discuss above, I think the benefit of being a teacher is overweight the drawback of limited salarty（salary）. Of course, if the government could take a positive measure to improve the working condition and life level, more talented people will be abstracted to become teachers.

p0u4@.Z&f文章观点很清楚，举例子很重要建议举例更加典型，最好加些special example
共同进步...



[ 本帖最后由 达达摩摩 于 2008-12-12 11:04 编辑 ]

d596086UID: 2522476

我认为文章有问题

首先很明显很多内容是仿照李孝来那本书的，考试时候可不能这么写，因为特色的东西考官重复看了反而会给你个低分

主要问题在于文章走题。 题目的侧重点在于payment上，而你的文章写得是教师职业的优越性，为什么应该选择教师职业，或者说教师职业除了钱外，可以获得更多的价值！

而题目让你阐述教师工资是否应该提高这个问题。 没有理由认为其他职业除了钱外，成就感什么的就比教师低。即使低，不能因为这个就降低工资啊？
如果想写，可以写成一段，而你的观点是：由于教师可以获得更多的超出金钱的价值，所以这些东西可以consenpate工资收入！

第一段举的例子是special情况，不具一般性，不能说服我说所有教师都愿意那么做

第二段，第三段并没有把你说的理由与工资的关系联系得很明确

[ 本帖最后由 d596086 于 2008-12-12 14:24 编辑 ]

nickey0809UID: 2349468

谢谢你的建议哦