【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月14日作业 history

nickey0809UID: 2349468

12.14日作业：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In university, students should take the history courses no matter what field they study in.

As the famous saying goes, “History makes men wise”. Nowadays, many scholars acclaimed that history should be the required curriculum in the university no matter what major the students are in, because history can help student broaden their horizon, cultivate their patriotism and have a better understanding about the people and society. However logical the argument might be, it only skims the surface of the problem. Through carefully weighting the mind, we could find the fact is not that simple.

First of all, too much curriculum organized will be nothing beneficial but make students sick. For example, students majoring in chemistry or physics would feel out of place when they study about background of resident of Peking or the significance of Renaissance. Given the heavy load students have to face in the university currently, why urge them acquaint even more history than the knowledge they had already learn . What's more, the quality of this education style should be suspect. Students could always get high score by memorizing numerous points of exam one week before the test, and then let all materials slide.

Secondly, such mean to improve someone's patriotism wll be ineffective. Reading abstract history book or being present in the history class would easily drive students to sleep. By contrast, visiting the former resident of revolutionist or museum is much more direct and thrilling. For instance, the lesson about Nanjing Massacre is horrifying and yet abstract. A trip to the  memorial Museum in Nanjing is a experience that has moved many students to tears, and naturally make student more patriotic.

Thirdly, it's undeniable that history course could help students to know something about the society, but what the college students lack is the experience out of the tower of ivory. A piece of Current news can ironically explain that point: 2 students with history master degree were treated and sold to the remote countryside by a stranger in the station. We have history course from elementary school to high school, why bother the student to review it again in the university. The university can save the time to organize the students to participate in more social practice.

As discuss above, what the university think about isn't force their students to grasp more curriculum without considering the students actual needs and interest, but well thought out curriculum with enough flexibility to handle the differences between individual.

transformersUID: 2307599

As the famous saying goes, “History makes men wise”. Nowadays, many scholars acclaimed that history should be the required curriculum in the university no matter what major the students are in, because history can help student broaden their horizon, cultivate their patriotism（好词） and have a better understanding about the people and society. However logical the argument might be, it only skims the surface of the problem. Through carefully weighting the mind, we could find the fact is not that simple.（让步不错）

First of all, too much curriculum organized will be nothing beneficial but make students sick（？boring？）. For example, students majoring in chemistry or physics would feel out of place when they study about background of resident of Peking or the significance of Renaissance. Given the heavy load students have to face in the university currently, why urge them acquaint even more history than the knowledge they had already learn. What's more, the quality of this education style should be suspect. Students could always get high score by memorizing numerous points of exam one week before the test, and then let all materials slide.（历史课已经在别的课学了 历史课只需要死记硬背 用完就忘 有例子 有细节 不错）



Secondly, such mean to improve someone's patriotism will be ineffective. Reading abstract history book or being present in the history class would easily drive students to sleep. By contrast, visiting the former resident of revolutionist or museum is much more direct and thrilling. For instance, the lesson about Nanjing Massacre is horrifying and yet abstract. A trip to the memorial Museum in Nanjing is an experience that has moved many students to tears, and naturally makes student more patriotic.（历史课对爱国作用有限 参观更有效 细节例子充分 ）

Thirdly, it's undeniable that history course could help students to know something about the society, but what the college students lack is the experience out of the tower of ivory. A piece of Current news can ironically（好词） explain that point: 2 students with history master degree were treated and sold to the remote countryside by a stranger in the station. We have history course from elementary school to high school, why bother the student to review it again in the university. The university can save the time to organize the students to participate in more social practice.（知道看了lz这段我才看到题目里的university~我自己可能写跑题了 大学生缺实践 不缺历史）


As discuss above, what the university think about isn't force their students to grasp more curriculum without considering the students actual needs and interest, but well thought out curriculum with enough flexibility to handle the differences between individual.

总结 段落总结见段后 不错 词汇 逻辑 细节 都可以

kaoladedashuUID: 2403207

As the famous saying goes, “History makes men wise”. Nowadays, many scholars acclaimed that history should be the required curriculum in the university no matter what major the students are in, because history can help student broaden their horizon, cultivate their patriotism and have a better understanding about (of)the people and society. However logical the argument might be, it only skims the surface of the problem. Through carefully weighting the mind(？可以这样说吗？是不是through carefully weighing it in mind,探讨一下，不是很清楚), we could find the fact is not that simple.
First of all, too much curriculum organized will be nothing beneficial but make students sick（？）. For example, students majoring in chemistry or physics would feel out of place when they study about background of resident of Peking（什么意思？北京居民的历史背景，不知道要表达什么，有点怪，如果想说“北京人”是Peking Man http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peking_Man） or the significance of Renaissance. Given the heavy load students have to face in the university currently, why urge them (to) acquaint (必需与with 连用) with even more history than the knowledge they had already learn（用现在完成时比较好吧---they have already learned）说理有些牵强，学习本来就是要获取新知识，是不是应该换一种表达. What's more, the quality of this education style (教学风格的质量，说的通吗？) should be suspect. Students could always get high score by memorizing numerous points of exam（？考点？太中文了，是不是可以换成information之类的） one week before the test, and then let all materials slide.
Secondly, such mean to improve someone's patriotism wll(will) be ineffective. Reading abstract history book or being present in the history class would easily drive students to sleep. By contrast, visiting the former resident (residence) of revolutionist or museum is much more direct and thrilling. For instance, the lesson about Nanjing Massacre is horrifying and yet(yet 表否定，应该去掉) abstract. A trip to the  memorial（Memorial注意要大写） Museum in Nanjing is a（an） experience that has moved many students to tears, and naturally make student more patriotic.（呵呵，李笑来）
Thirdly, it's undeniable that history course could help students to know something about the society, but what the college students lack is the experience out of the tower of ivory. A piece of Current news can ironically explain that point: 2 students with history master degree were treated and sold to the remote countryside by a stranger in the station. We have history course from elementary school to high school, why bother the student to review it again in the university. （这一句有些突然，应该紧扣前面的例子进行阐述）The university can save the time to organize the students to participate in more social practice.
As discuss（discussed） above, what the university think about isn't force(语法错误，系动词后跟表语从句，动词不定式或分次短语to force or forcing)  their students to grasp more curriculum without considering the students actual needs and interest, but well thought out （这里是并列，所以也是语法错误，
curriculum with enough flexibility to handle the differences between individuals.
首先，注意认真审题，题目是all the students take history courses in university no matter what field they study in, 后面的限定语很重要，in university no matter what field they study in，这是立论的关键，文章应该围绕这个和上历史课来展开。而不是你从这个给出的论题引伸出三点：broaden their horizon, cultivate their patriotism and have a better understanding about (of)the people and society，并由此来展开讨论。从这点上来说，你的第二，第三点有些不切题。
其次，单从你立论的角度来说，思路清晰，例证很有力，这一点很好，但请注意表达。
以上是个人愚见，互相交流学习，如有不妥，请指出。

chineseladyUID: 2403976

As the famous saying goes, “History makes men wise”. Nowadays, many scholars acclaimed that history should be the required curriculum in the university no matter what major the students are in, because history can help student broaden their horizon, cultivate their patriotism（赞下喜欢） and have a better understanding about the people and society. However logical the argument might be, it only skims the surface of the problem. Through carefully weighting the mind, we could find the fact is not that simple.

First of all, too much curriculum organized will be nothing beneficial but make students sick. For example, students majoring in chemistry or physics would feel out of place when they study about background of resident of Peking or the significance of Renaissance. Given the heavy load students have to face in the university currently, why urge them acquaint even more history than the knowledge they had already learn . What's more, the quality of this education style should be suspect. Students could always get high score by memorizing numerous points of exam one week before the test, and then let all materials slide.

Secondly, such mean to improve someone's patriotism wll be ineffective. Reading abstract history book or being present in the history class would easily drive students to sleep. By contrast, visiting the former resident of revolutionist or museum is much more direct and thrilling. For instance, the lesson about Nanjing Massacre is horrifying and yet abstract. A trip to the  memorial Museum in Nanjing is a experience that has moved many students to tears, and naturally make student more patriotic.

Thirdly, it's undeniable that history course could help students to know something about the society, but what the college students lack is the experience out of the tower of ivory. A piece of Current news can ironically explain that point: 2 students with history master degree were treated and sold（我觉得这里用诱骗或诱拐比较合适） to the remote countryside by a stranger in the station. We have history course from elementary school to high school, why bother the student to review it again in the university. The university can save the time to organize the students to participate in more social practice.

As discuss above, what the university think about isn't force their students to grasp more curriculum without considering the students actual needs and (interest是用复数吧interests), but well thought out curriculum with enough flexibility to handle the differences between individual我觉得LZ写的很好很多地方值得学习，结构选词值得赞！.

nickey0809UID: 2349468

你的建议都很中肯，改得很认真，谢谢