【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月15+16 日作业 the elder's advice

nickey0809UID: 2349468

电视应该是 educate还是entertain?（07.10.5）
Nowadays, the shadow of entertainment is ubiquitous, pervading all aspects of human society, from the gossip news printed in the whole page of newspaper to the musical radio channels aired in the big streets and small lanes. What’s more, the entertainment program becomes the champion of the TV audience rating. I won’t deny that appropriate entertainment itself is beyond reproach, but overrunning amusement will drive the society off the track. Thus I tend to insist that the education program should play the leading role of TV program, while the entertainment supplements.
The essence of entertainment Programme is an illusion that controlled and created by business ideology. Sports stars, music stars, movie stars take turns to make a show in the stage, which stimulate the sense of public and make them happy. Idol TV Play and Variety Show are broadcasting every night which occupies most time of the teenagers. People's spare time is thereby dominated by the entertainment, and TV becomes the major way to relax and release their emotion, even the only way. Then the entertainment program ultimately steals their energy from their work and the company with their family, at last takes the place of the thought and becomes a lifestyle. The more the desire expands, the crazier the entertainment is. The entertainment program collapses the people's memories and builds a Utopia of materials by making dream. This feeling isn't from the inside, isn't the real choice and need of individual, but the group imagination.
The television bears an inescapable responsibility to educate the people. The education program can rest your entire body, and at the same time unconsciously enhance the quality of you. For example, Discovery has a variety of science programming,which not only arouses and gratifies people’s curiosity, but also imparts knowledge to them. It’s the real sense to "Entertain Your Brain". Moreover, the excellent works of education program could provide the citizens with correct media guidance, imbue them with lofty ideals, and inspire them to think. For instance, Happy Planet — a TV series for children — integrates the real life into rich imagination. It is not merely popular among the kids, but also shapes their character.
In conclusion, the television should avoid the single, superficial entertaining. The TV station should set up a system with the education program as mainstay, and couple with proper entertainment in order to enrich people’s leisure time.

请多提意见，批评，恭维的话就不要说了






15日作文 不好意思迟交了，也帮忙改改吧，您的人品值一定会报表的
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Getting advice from older friends is more valuable than getting advice from friends at your age

Nowadays, generation gap becomes a hot topic and is overemphasized. The elders are the stubborn antique in the youths’ eyes. Young people are prone to ask their contemporaries for advice when they in trouble. In fact, the elders are incredible resource to the world. As aging society is coming, neglect the function of the old people is an unreasonable waste, since their richer experience and caution of thought could help us a lot and prevent us from making detour. So I tend to believe the suggestion from older friends should be the priority to consider about.
First of all, the constructive opinions from older friends are always base on their own experience which would keep you from avoidable mistakes. Young people, especially those just graduating from school, are always confused and panic when encountering difficulties because of lack of experience. The peers you resort to could have the same obsession. As an old Chinese saying goes, ”He that is fallen can’t help him that is down”. Thus why should we refuse the assistance from the one who is standing straightforward? My experience also makes me aware of the value of the advice from the elder: when facing the choices between finding the job soon after graduating from university and pursuing further study abroad, I’m completely in a daze because it’s such a big decision which might influence my whole life. My friends and classmates all failed to provide me a satisfying answer. Just at the moment, a call from my mother saved me from the sea of bitterness. She helped me to analyze my own advantage as well as the pros and cons of both the possibilities. I at last realized what I really want and persisted until now.
What is more, the elder’s mature is also a supplement to the impulse of the youth. William Shakespeare once said, ’’Discretion is the better part of velour’’. Adolescents getting together would like to try new things with a brief period of enthusiasm, and act without regard for what will happen afterwards. By contrast, the older people will think it over before make decision, and for the sake of their age, they are always more farsighted than the youth. The proposal of them could cool the ardor of the juveniles and avoid them to go to the extreme.
In sum, the advice from the old friends is a precious treasure to anyone. Their large experience and poise would do us a big favor to balance our pushful ambition and guide us to the right direction forward.

[ 本帖最后由 nickey0809 于 2008-12-16 19:43 编辑 ]

xiaojing1115UID: 2578357

电视应该是 educate还是entertain?（07.10.5）

Nowadays, the shadow of entertainment is ubiquitous, pervading all aspects of human society, from the gossip news printed in the whole page of newspaper to the musical radio channels aired in the big streets and small lanes. What’s more, the entertainment program becomes the champion of the TV audience rating. I won’t deny that appropriate entertainment itself is beyond reproach(没有明白这句), but overrunning amusement will drive the society off the track. Thus I tend to insist that the education program should play the leading role of TV program, while the entertainment supplements（换成动词吧或者加一个is）.
The essence of entertainment Programme is an illusion that（is） controlled and created by business ideology. Sports stars, music stars, movie stars take turns to make a show in the stage, which stimulate the sense of public and make them happy. Idol TV Play and Variety Show are broadcasting every night which occupies most time of the teenagers. People's spare time is thereby dominated by the entertainment, and （好多and 可以变成at the same time）TV becomes the major way to relax and release their emotion, even the only way. Then the entertainment program ultimately steals their energy from their work and the company with their family, at last takes the place of the thought and becomes a lifestyle. The more the desire expands, the crazier the entertainment is. The entertainment program collapses the people's memories and builds a Utopia of materials by making dream. This feeling isn't from the inside, isn't the real choice and need of individual, but the group imagination.（用词很好，可以多点句式变化）

The television bears an inescapable responsibility to educate the people. The education program can rest your entire body, and at the same time unconsciously enhance the quality of you. For example, Discovery has a variety of science programming,which not only arouses and gratifies people’s curiosity, but also imparts knowledge to them. It’s the real sense to "Entertain Your Brain". Moreover, the excellent works of education program could provide the citizens with correct media guidance, imbue them with lofty ideals, and inspire them to think. For instance, Happy Planet — a TV series for children — integrates the real life into rich imagination. It is not merely popular among the kids, but also shapes their character。（这个列子很好）

In conclusion, the television should avoid the single, superficial entertaining. The TV station should set up a system with the education program as mainstay, and couple with proper entertainment in order to enrich people’s leisure time.
整体很好，注意从句。


Nowadays, generation gap becomes a hot topic and is overemphasized. The elders are the stubborn antique in the youths’ eyes. Young people are prone to ask their contemporaries for advice when they （are）in trouble. In fact, the elders are incredible resource to the world.（不明白这句话） As aging society is coming, neglect the function of the old people is an unreasonable waste, since their richer experience and caution of thought could help us a lot and prevent us from making detour. So I tend to believe the suggestion from older friends should be the priority to consider about.

First of all, the constructive opinions from older friends are always base on their own experience which would keep you from avoidable mistakes. Young people, especially those just graduating from school, are always confused and panic when encountering difficulties because of lack of experience. The peers you resort to could have the same obsession. As an old Chinese saying goes, ”He that is fallen can’t help him that is down”. Thus why should we refuse the assistance from the one who is standing straightforward? My experience also makes me aware of the value of the advice from the elder: when facing the choices between finding the job soon after graduating from university and pursuing further study abroad, I’m completely in a daze because it’s such a big decision which might influence my whole life. My friends and classmates all failed to provide me a satisfying answer. Just at the moment, a call from my mother saved me from the sea of bitterness. She helped me to analyze my own advantage as well as the pros and cons of both the possibilities. I at last realized what I really want and persisted until now.

What is more, the elder’s mature is also a supplement to the impulse of the youth. William Shakespeare once said, ’’Discretion is the better part of velour’’. Adolescents getting together would like to try new things with a brief period of enthusiasm, and act without regard for what will happen afterwards. By contrast, the older people will think it over before make decision, and for the sake of their age, they are always more farsighted than the youth. The proposal of them could cool the ardor of the juveniles and avoid them to go to the extreme.

In sum, the advice from the old friends is a precious treasure to anyone. Their large experience and poise would do us a big favor to balance our pushful ambition and guide us to the right direction forward.

本人能力有限，觉得你写得很好了哦

[ 本帖最后由 xiaojing1115 于 2008-12-16 23:46 编辑 ]

nickey0809UID: 2349468

楼上改什么我都看不到呢

nickey0809UID: 2349468

谢谢，supplement也能作动词啊

james011137UID: 2280989

Nowadays, the shadow of entertainment is ubiquitous, pervading all aspects of human society, from the gossip news printed in the whole page of newspaper to the musical radio channels aired in the big streets and small lanes. What’s more, the entertainment program becomes the champion of the TV audience rating. I won’t deny that appropriate entertainment itself is beyond reproach, but overrunning amusement will drive the society off the track. Thus I tend to insist that the education program should play the leading role of TV program, while the entertainment supplements.

[email=9@9v]The[/email] essence of entertainment Programme is an illusion that controlled and created by business ideology. Sports stars, music stars, movie stars take turns to make a show in the stage, which stimulate the sense of public and make them happy. Idol TV Play and Variety Show are broadcasting every night which occupies most time of the teenagers. People's spare time is thereby dominated by the entertainment, and TV becomes the major way to relax and release their emotion, even the only way. Then the entertainment program ultimately steals their energy from their work and the company with their family, at last takes the place of the thought and becomes a lifestyle. The more the desire expands, the crazier the entertainment is. The entertainment program collapses the people's memories and builds a Utopia of materials by making dream. This feeling isn't from the inside, isn't the real choice and need of individual, but the group imagination.|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRED}9?:_^y3F/g

The television bears an inescapable responsibility to educate the people. The education program can rest your entire body, and at the same time unconsciously enhance the quality of you.不太明白 For example, Discovery has a variety of science programming,which not only arouses and gratifies people’s curiosity, but also imparts knowledge to them. It’s the real sense to "Entertain Your Brain". Moreover, the excellent works of education program could provide the citizens with correct media guidance, imbue them with lofty ideals, imbue ideas 是偏贬义的说法，用在这不好and inspire them to think. For instance, Happy Planet — a TV series for children — integrates the real life into rich imagination. It is not merely popular among the kids, but also shapes their character.留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA)AG$gl^
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In conclusion, the television should avoid the single, superficial entertaining. The TV station should set up a system with the education program as mainstay, and couple with proper entertainment in order to enrich people’s leisure time.我觉得你这篇有些跑题，我理解题目的意思是 电视的作用主要是娱乐还是教育？而不是谈论 电视是应该多放娱乐节目还是多放教育意义的节目 。是谈论 考生心中对电视的一种现象的讨论，而不是讨论谁是谁非的问题。
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V15日作文 不好意思迟交了，也帮忙改改吧，您的人品值一定会报表的寄托家园g6aQ(s*H
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Getting advice from older friends is more valuable than getting advice from friends at your age

Nowadays, generation gap becomes a hot topic and is overemphasized. The elders are the stubborn antique in the youths’ eyes. Young people are prone to ask their contemporaries for advice when they in trouble. In fact, the elders are incredible resource to the world. As aging society is coming, neglect the function of the old people is an unreasonable waste, since their richer experience and caution of thought could help us a lot and prevent us from making detour. So I tend to believe the suggestion from older friends should be the priority to consider about.

First of all, the constructive opinions from older friends are always base on their own experience which would keep you from avoidable mistakes. Young people, especially those just graduating from school, are always confused and panic when encountering difficulties because of lack of experience. The peers you resort to could have the same obsession. As an old Chinese saying goes, ”He that is fallen can’t help him that is down”. Thus why should we refuse the assistance from the one who is standing straightforward? My experience also makes me aware of the value of the advice from the elder: when facing the choices between finding the job soon after graduating from university and pursuing further study abroad, I’m completely in a daze because it’s such a big decision which might influence my whole life. My friends and classmates all failed to provide me a satisfying answer. Just at the moment, a call from my mother saved me from the sea of bitterness. She helped me to analyze my own advantage as well as the pros and cons of both the possibilities. I at last realized what I really want and persisted until now.
What is more, the elder’s mature is also a supplement to the impulse of the youth. William Shakespeare once said, ’’Discretion is the better part of velour’’. Adolescents getting together would like to try new things with a brief period of enthusiasm, and act without regard for what will happen afterwards. By contrast, the older people will think it over before make decision, and for the sake of their age, they are always more farsighted than the youth. The proposal of them could cool the ardor of the juveniles and avoid them to go to the extreme. dB wE$U N
In sum, the advice from the old friends is a precious treasure to anyone. Their large experience and poise would do us a big favor to balance our pushful ambition and guide us to the right direction forward.
这篇写的不错  可以看出LZ词汇功底很强 我觉得应该在扣题 以及段与段的连结上再注意些

nickey0809UID: 2349468

好像是有点跑题了，谢谢