Argument53【0906G 文以载道三月四月作文小组】第2周第1次作业 by 1shiaiwode

1shiaiwodeUID: 2484260

Argument53
Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
13年前，研究者研究了一组在受到不熟悉的刺激比如不寻常的气味和未知声音的录音时表现出轻微紧张的25名婴儿。他们发现这些婴儿比其他婴儿更可能在早秋怀孕，而早秋是他们的母亲分泌的melatonin--一种已知会影响一些大脑功能的荷尔蒙--因日照的减少而增加的季节。在今年早些时候所作的跟踪调查中，这些表现出紧张迹象的儿童--现在已经是十几岁--有一半以上认为自己害羞。显然，出生前melatonin的增加导致婴儿期的羞涩并且这种羞涩将延续至生命更晚的阶段。
论点：所列证据不足以证明结论。
【提纲】
1.没有证据证明melatonin会影响婴儿的大脑
2.论者并没有考虑到25名婴儿成长的环境
3.婴儿受到刺激时的表现不一定是由害羞所造成的
【正文】
According to the arguer, the increasing level of melatonin before birth causes shyness during infancy. And the arguer poses the result of a study to support his/her perspective. However, in my point of view, there are several logical mistakes in the article which make the result incredible.

First, there is no evidence certifying that melatonin can affect infants' brain. We can only know from the article that melatonin can affect some brain functions. However, the arguer does not tell whether this hormone affects brains of mothers' or infants'. The arguer does not offer us any scientific information about melatonin to make us know more clearly how the hormone works on brains.

Second, in the article, the arguer does not take into account the environments in which the 25 infants were brought up. We all know that the children's characteristics are majorly formed during the process of their life. That is, the form of characteristic depends a lot on environment. Disappointedly, the arguer does not supply us any information of environments. Instead, he/she just computes the children’s shyness on the hormone of melatonin. I have to say that it is unreasonable and, at the same time, unbelievable.

Third, we can never know that whether the infants showed signs of mild distresses because of shyness or other factors. There is a possibility that they showed distresses because of shyness. We can not deny the possibility that they were uncomfortable when heard the noise or smelled unusual odor, though. Maybe, there were some other reasons for these infants to show distresses.

Last, there are still several problems in this passage. For example, the number of infants studied is too small to be convincible. At the same time, we do not know whether there are other aspects that will influence the kids' personality.

So, in order to obtain people’s sympathy, the arguer has to submit more scientific data to support his/her standpoint that melatonin can affect infants.

ph粉丝UID: 2340814

我觉得你写得很好，我在学习的基础上鸡蛋里挑骨头，也挑不出多少毛病，以后多多指教 帮我也改改哈。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D1#pid1772224338