Argument53【0906G 文以载道三月四月小组】第二周第一次作业 by luyaoxu

luyaoxuUID: 2588850

Argument53
Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
13年前，研究者研究了一组在受到不熟悉的刺激比如不寻常的气味和未知声音的录音时表现出轻微紧张的25名婴儿。他们发现这些婴儿比其他婴儿更可能在早秋怀孕，而早秋是他们的母亲分泌的melatonin--一种已知会影响一些大脑功能的荷尔蒙--因日照的减少而增加的季节。在今年早些时候所作的跟踪调查中，这些表现出紧张迹象的儿童--现在已经是十几岁--有一半以上认为自己害羞。显然，出生前melatonin的增加导致婴儿期的羞涩并且这种羞涩将延续至生命更晚的阶段。

【提纲】
首先，论断出生前melatonin的增加导致婴儿期羞涩不成立。
其次，一个人的性格是先天和后天共同的产物。

In this analysis, the author claims that the increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and the shyness continues into later life.  The cliam is base on the obsearvation that researchers studied 25 infants who showed mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such unusual odor or unkonow voice and found that they were more likely to have been conceived in early autumn. What’s more, mothers’ production of melatonin – a hormone known to affect some brain functions would increase naturally according to day light in autumn. And in terms of a follow up study conducted, more than a half of the infants who had showed distress identified themselves as shy when they growed into teenagers. Well , several important concerns, which the author fails to address in the analysis, undermine the argument  greatly.
The major problem with this argument is the unwarranted assumption that accreted production of melatonin before birth results in shyness during infancy. First of all, the author provides no scientfic explanations correlated with the function of the melatonin and more importantly the influence on infants.Though it has mentioned that it is a hormone known to affect some brain funtions, we cannot even figure out whose brains are probably affected, mothers’ or babies’? Secondly, the author cited a study aiming at 25 infants who showed mild distress when exposed to strange stimulation 13years ago and a follow up study this year. The author fails to prove that the mild distress of infants is generated by shyness, hence we cannot exclude the possiblity of physical malaise caused by external stimulation. Concerning about the follow up study, a great deal of life imfomation of those teenagers is lacked, which is probably the reason for the shyness of them. Furthermore, since the study was conducted in 25 infants totally, the data and conclusion drawn from such a small-scale study usually cannot be representative of the truth. In any way, the assumption that the increase level of melatonin before birth leads to shyness during infants is very presumptuous.
Another problem that undermines the argument is that the author failed to realize that the character and temperament of a person is a sophisticated outcome of both congenital heredity and postnatal affect. Assuming the higher level of melatonin do bring about shyness during infants which is of course groundless, the author didn’t provide information about how long that the effect would endure and whether the effect will be changed by postnatal environment. Besides, in the human life journey, there exists too many factors that will help to buid a person’s character. Therfore, it’s unreallistic and opinionated to judge that the shyness of a person will continue into later life without considering his later experiences.
In sum, in order to stand convincingly, the author needs to provide more scientific and reliable imfomation about what effect that the melatonin imposes on the infants and whether this effect is erasable should also be considered.

waidswUID: 2256074

In this analysis, the author claims that the increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and the shyness continues into later life. (Do not just copy.  Restate it using your own words) The cliam (claim) is base on the obsearvation (observation) that researchers studied 25 infants who showed mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such unusual odor or unkonow voice and found that they were more likely to have been conceived in early autumn. What’s more, mothers’ production of melatonin – a hormone known to affect some brain functions would increase naturally according to day light in autumn. And in terms of a follow up study conducted, more than a half of the infants who had showed distress identified themselves as shy when they growed into teenagers. Well , several important concerns, which the author fails to address in the analysis, undermine the argument  greatly.(This paragraph could be shorter)

The major problem with this argument is the unwarranted assumption that accreted production of melatonin before birth results in shyness during infancy. First of all, the author provides no scientific (scientific) explanations correlated with the function of the melatonin and more importantly the influence on infants. Though it has mentioned that it is a hormone known to affect some brain funtions, (functions)we cannot even figure out whose brains are probably affected, mothers’ or babies’?(Your reasoning is not strong enough. You should also say that it may not can cause infancy shyness. ) Secondly, the author cited a study aiming at 25 infants who showed mild distress when exposed to strange stimulation 13years ago and a follow up study this year. The author fails to prove that the mild distress of infants is generated by shyness, hence we cannot exclude the possibility of physical malaise caused by external stimulation. Concerning about the follow up study, a great deal of life imfomation (information) of those teenagers is lacked, which is probably the reason for the shyness of them.(It is a little bit unclear. You should consider whether melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy first and then talk about child in the following graph paragraph. ) Furthermore, since the study was conducted in 25 infants totally, the data and conclusion drawn from such a small-scale study usually cannot be representative of the truth. (This point is very useful) In any way, the assumption that the increase level of melatonin before birth leads to shyness during infants is very presumptuous.

Another problem that undermines the argument is that the author failed to realize that the character and temperament of a person is a sophisticated outcome of both congenital heredity and postnatal affect. (How do you know it? Could do please prove it? If you set up your own assertion, you have to prove its correctness. I know you have many many personal developed theories, haha, "KUKU MAO") Assuming the higher level of melatonin do bring about shyness during infants which is of course groundless, the author didn’t provide information about how long that the effect would endure and whether the effect will be changed by postnatal environment. Besides, in the human life journey, there exists too many factors that will help to buid a person’s character. Therfore, it’s unreallistic and opinionated to judge that the shyness of a person will continue into later life without considering his later experiences. (This paragraph is good.)

In sum, in order to stand convincingly, the author needs to provide more scientific and reliable imfomation about what effect that the melatonin imposes on the infants and whether this effect is erasable should also be considered.



This argument is pretty nice but you could do better if you have fewer errors in spelling and better structure. Just argue against the given opinion and do not set up new opinions. Otherwise, you have to prove their correctness. Your choosing of words is really good and the transition of sentences is nice. Keep on working, and you will be great.