Argument137

ciceUID: 2140424

Topic:
The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.
"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."

Outline:
1. alternative explanations for the seldom use of the river;
2. the cause of the pollution and the difficulties in solving the problem
3. interests change with time

Essay:
The editorialist tries to explain the seldom use of the river by its water quality, and concludes that the agency’s announcement will solve that problem and that the city council will increase the budget for improving the lands along the river. This well-presented argument is specious, since it fails to consider other factors that influence the use of the river.

These possible alternatives to the seldom use of the river include the fact that there is another river in the city which is much more fitting for recreational use. Compared with the river referred to in the editorial, perhaps this river is located in the center of the city and thus is easier of access. The currents in it are much slower, and the temperature of the water is milder. In addition, the weather condition may also influence the use. It is entirely possible that it is winter presently, and the ice has formed on the water, which hinders the use. Without ruling out such possibilities, the author can not convince us that the water pollution is the main cause.

Even assuming that water pollution plays the dominant role, the announcement made by the relevant agency does not necessarily lead to success. It is mentioned in the editorial that the agency plans to clean up the river, but does the agency identify the source of the pollution? If the polluters are dumped into the upper part of the river, which is in another city, the problem may not be easily solved. Or, if the river is polluted by acid precipitation, many companied will be involved and common sense informs us that much potential obstruction will appear. Furthermore, the plan must be closely examined to judge its feasibility.

Even assuming that the river will be cleaned up eventually, the increase in the use does not necessarily follows. Perhaps, it will have been a long time before the river can be used again. During this period, a considerable proportion of citizens of Mason City may turn to other recreational activities, and their favorite form of recreation is no longer water sports. For that matter, even if the river is clean one day, it is unlikely that these citizens will change their current interests back. Therefore, the need for increasing the budget for improving the lands along the river is dubious.

In conclusion, the cause of the seldom use of the river must be determined in the first place. If the problem is derived from the pollution, potential difficulties in the solving process must be taken into account. Besides, whether the city council will need to increase the budget correspondingly depends on whether the citizens’ interests will maintain.

小室黄瓜UID: 2155213

Essay:
The editorialist tries to explain the seldom use of the river by its water quality, and concludes that the agency’s announcement will solve that problem and that the city council will increase the budget for improving the lands along the river. This well-presented argument is specious, since it fails to consider other factors that influence the use of the river.

These possible alternatives to the seldom use of the river include the fact that there is another river in the city which is much more fitting for recreational use.（这个我也写了，不过感觉不是很有说服力的原因。你看呢？） Compared with the river referred to in the editorial, perhaps this river is located in the center of the city and thus is easier of access. The currents in it are much slower（这个有点突然了，你可以说为什么slower不好呢。）, and the temperature of the water is milder（这点想得不错！）. In addition, the weather condition may also influence the use. It is entirely possible that it is winter presently, and（ the ice has formed on the water 可以换成freeze） , which hinders the use.（这一点是不是有点牵强了呢？） Without ruling out such possibilities, the author can not convince us that the water pollution is the main cause.

Even assuming that water pollution plays the dominant role, the announcement made by the relevant agency does not necessarily lead to success. It is mentioned in the editorial that the agency plans to clean up the river, but does the agency identify the source of the pollution? If the polluters are dumped into the upper part of the river, which is in another city, the problem may not be easily solved. Or, if the river is polluted by acid precipitation, many companied will be involved and common sense informs us that much potential obstruction will appear. Furthermore,（应该是therefore） the plan must be closely examined to judge its feasibility. (对于这点你可以看看小竹子的，我觉得她的efficiency 比这个feasibility好。个人意见啊，因为我也想到效率问题，没想过要反驳这个feasibility的问题)

Even assuming that the river will be cleaned up eventually, the increase in the use does not necessarily follows. Perhaps, it will have been a long time before the river can be used again. During this period, a considerable proportion of citizens of Mason City may turn to other recreational activities, and their favorite form of recreation is no longer water sports. For that matter, even if the river is clean one day, it is unlikely that these citizens will change their current interests back. Therefore, the need for increasing the budget for improving the lands along the river is dubious.(你的可能性想得真多，这段还是挺convincing的。)

In conclusion, the cause of the seldom use of the river must be determined in the first place. If the problem is derived from the pollution, potential difficulties in the solving process must be taken into account. Besides, whether the city council will need to increase the budget correspondingly depends on whether the citizens’ interests will maintain.

wenyuZUID: 2113611

Essay:
The editorialist tries to explain the seldom use of the river by its water quality, and concludes that the agency’s announcement will solve that problem and that the city council will increase the budget for improving the lands along the river. This well-presented argument is specious, since it fails to consider other factors that influence decrease the use of the river.

These possible alternatives to the seldom use of the river include the fact that there is another river in the city which is much more fitting for recreational use. Compared with the river referred to in the editorial Mason River, perhaps this river is located in the center of the city and thus is easier of access. The currents in it are much slower, and the temperature of the water is milder. In addition, the weather condition may also influence the use. It is entirely possible that it is winter presently, and the ice has formed on above the water, which hinders the use. Without ruling out such possibilities, the author can not convince us that the water pollution is the main only cause.

Even assuming admitting that water pollution plays the dominant role, the announcement made by the relevant agency does not necessarily lead to success. It is mentioned in the editorial that it is true that the agency plans has planed to clean up the river, but does the agency identify the source of the pollution? If the polluters are dumped into the upper part of the river, which is in another city, the problem may not be easily solved. Or, if the river is polluted by acid precipitation, many companied companies will be involved and common sense informs us that much potential obstruction will appear. Furthermore, the plan must be closely examined to judge its feasibility.

Even assuming Even if that the river will be cleaned up eventually, the increase in the use does not necessarily follow. Perhaps, it will have been there will be a long time before the river can be used again. During this period, a considerable proportion of citizens of Mason City may turn to other recreational activities, and their favorite form of recreation is no longer water sports rather than water sports，或不要后面这半句. For that matter, even if the river is clean one day, it is unlikely that these citizens will change their current former interests back. Therefore, the need for increasing the budget for improving the lands along the river is dubious. 最后这两句话意义不大。可考虑当前还有很多及待解决的问题如unemployment，故不必花钱到这种无聊的小事上。

In conclusion, the cause of the seldom use of the river must be determined in the first place. If the problem is derived from the pollution, potential difficulties in the solving process must be taken into account. Besides, whether the city council will need needs to increase the budget correspondingly depends on whether the citizens’ interests will maintain.


也请去改改我的137哦!谢谢呢.

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
贴晚了,请原谅哈

biojerryUID: 2148576

Essay:
The editorialist tries to explain the seldom use of the river by its water quality, and concludes that the agency’s announcement will solve that problem and that the city council will increase the budget for improving the lands along the river. This well-presented argument is specious, since it fails to consider other factors that influence the use of the river.

These possible alternatives to the seldom use of the river include the fact that there is another river in the city which is much more fitting for recreational use. Compared with the river referred to in the editorial, perhaps this river is located in the center of the city and thus is easier of[to] access. The currents in it are much slower[水流慢意味着什么？可以提及recreational activity is safer之类], and the temperature of the water is milder. In addition, the weather condition may also influence the use. It is entirely possible that it is winter presently, and the ice has formed on the water, which hinders the use[不一定，冬季也有冬季的娱乐方式，如滑雪之类]. Without ruling out such possibilities, the author can not convince us that the water pollution is the main cause.

Even assuming that water pollution plays the dominant role, the announcement made by the relevant agency does not necessarily lead to success. It is mentioned in the editorial that the agency plans to clean up the river, but does the agency identify the source of the pollution? If the polluters are dumped into the upper part of the river, which is in another city, the problem may not be easily solved. Or, if the river is polluted by acid precipitation, many companied will be involved and common sense informs us that[新东方老师说common sense informs us that...这类话最好少用，因为common sense的适用范围是有限的，对中国是common sense,对外国不一定；对现在是common sense,对过去不一定。弄得我不太敢用。但这种用法在老外范文中还是常见的，楼主自己权衡吧] much potential obstruction will appear. Furthermore[这里最好用Therefore，furthermore可能需要继续展开], the plan must be closely examined to judge its feasibility.

Even assuming that the river will be cleaned up eventually, the increase in the use does not necessarily follows. Perhaps, it will have been a long time before the river can be used again. During this period, a considerable proportion of citizens of Mason City may turn to other recreational activities, and their favorite form of recreation is no longer water sports. For that matter, even if the river is clean one day, it is unlikely that these citizens will change their current[former] interests back. Therefore, the need for increasing the budget for improving the lands along the river is dubious.

In conclusion, the cause of the seldom use of the river must be determined in the first place. If the problem is derived from the pollution, potential difficulties in the solving process must be taken into account. Besides, whether the city council will need to increase the budget[for land-improvement along the river我觉得还是要写清楚，budget的用途太多了] correspondingly depends on whether the citizens’ interests will maintain.

总结：论证的思路是很清晰的，一些细节上如果注意下，楼主一定能得到满意的分数

PS：麻烦拍拍我的Argument1，谢谢哦！
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