【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月8日作业

LonelydanceUID: 2456465

    Everyone in the world have some attitudes towards their life. Some may be positive about it, thinking they are immersed in happiness at present; others, missing their old age, complain about their life, wishing to go back to the time when they’re happier than now. This situation especially applies to the elder who believe the time when they’re young is much better than present. They are bewildered by modern society where everything becomes so complicated that they are hard to catch up with the step of it. However, young men, like me, enjoy our life with everything so facilitating and flattering, claiming that we are definitely luckier than our grandparents to grow in the circumstance.
    I enjoy the material enjoyments modern life offer me, satisfying with my life. Though I admit modern life present us many temptations, so hard for us to refuse them, I’d rather live in this vivid world regardless how much money it cost me. I once spend a whole day with my friends playing in the amusement park, dissipating a lot of money just for a tricky show. It is impossible that there are so many programs to play when our grandparents are at the same age as ours. The great depression are dominant in the era where hundreds of millions people lose job, relying on the government’s helping to sustain their lives. As a result of lacking of money, they may be hungry for several days. In contrary, we are really lucky enough. Because we can not only enjoy a large variety of foods to meet tastes, but also have different options to spend a wonderful day.
    Besides, we are safer than our grandparents, most of who suffer from the world war two, which pull them into hatreds and immolations. They probably have the bad memory of fighting against enemies, suffering from the guilty of inflicting and killing. I guess these experiences must cast a heavy shadow on their mental, tormenting them in the whole life. Fortunately, we are living in a relatively rational and peaceful world where loving and understanding dominate our life.
    In a world, our present lives are more comfortable and happier than those of our grandparents mentally and materially and we should cherish our life, treating our grandparents better, helping them adopt modern life.

xiaojing1115UID: 2578357

麻烦帮我批下7号的作文，轮到你哦，还没有改呢，大家一起加油

transformersUID: 2307599

Everyone in the world have some attitudes towards their life. Some may be positive about it, thinking they are immersed in happiness at present; others, missing their old age, complain about their life, wishing to go back to the time when they’re happier than now. This situation especially applies to the elder who believe the time when they’re young is much better than present. They are bewildered by modern society where everything becomes so complicated that they are hard to catch up with the step of it. However, young men, like me, enjoy our life with everything so facilitating and flattering, claiming that we are definitely luckier than our grandparents to grow in the circumstance.（奇文～感觉像散文～～写的不错～就是开头太长了吧）
I enjoy the material enjoyments modern life offer me, satisfying with my life. Though I admit modern life present us many temptations, so hard for us to refuse them, I’d rather live in this vivid world regardless how much money it cost me. I once spend a whole day with my friends playing in the amusement park, dissipating a lot of money just for a tricky show. It is impossible that there are so many programs to play when our grandparents are at the same age as ours. The great depression are dominant in the era where hundreds of millions people lose job, relying on the government’s helping to sustain their lives. As a result of lacking of money, they may be hungry for several days. In contrary, we are really lucky enough. Because we can not only enjoy a large variety of foods to meet tastes, but also have different options to spend a wonderful day.（物质生活好了）

Besides, we are safer than our grandparents, most of who suffer from the world war two, which pull them into hatreds and immolations. They probably have the bad memory of fighting against enemies, suffering from the guilty of inflicting and killing. I guess these experiences must cast a heavy shadow on their mental, tormenting them in the whole life. Fortunately, we are living in a relatively rational and peaceful world where loving and understanding dominate our life.（安全了）

In a world, our present lives are more comfortable and happier than those of our grandparents mentally and materially and we should cherish our life, treating our grandparents better, helping them adopt modern life
总结
除了最后两段中归中举外～前面跟散文一样～强大～语言很强～奇文～～

bjleoUID: 2480273

Everyone in the world have some attitudes (attitude 不可数可以改为 have differrent attitude) towards their life (lives?).Some (people) may be positive about it, thinking they are immersed in happiness at present; others, missing their old age, complain about their life, wishing to go back to the time when they’re happier than now. This situation especially applies to the elder who believe the time when they’re young is much better than present. They are bewildered by modern society where everything becomes so complicated that they are hard to catch up with the step of it. However, young men, like me, enjoy our life with everything so facilitating and flattering, claiming that we are definitely luckier than our grandparents to grow in the circumstance.!
    I enjoy the material enjoyments (不可数?) modern life offer(s) me, satisfying with my life. Though I admit modern life present(s) us many temptations, so hard for us to refuse them, I’d rather live in this vivid world regardless how much money it cost me. I once spend a whole day with my friends playing in the amusement park, dissipating a lot of money just for a tricky show. It is impossible that there are so many programs to play when our grandparents are at the same age as ours. The great depression are dominant in the era where hundreds of millions people lose (their jobs) job, relying on the government’s helping (help?) to sustain their lives. As a result of lacking of money, they may be hungry for several days. In contrary, we are really lucky enough. Because we can not only enjoy a large variety of foods to meet tastes, but also have different options to spend a wonderful day.
    Besides, we are safer than our grandparents, most of who (whom?) suffer from the world war two, which pull them into hatreds and immolations. They probably have the bad memory of fighting against enemies, suffering from the guilty of inflicting and killing. I guess these experiences must cast a heavy shadow on their mental, tormenting them in the whole life. Fortunately, we are living in a relatively rational and peaceful world where loving and understanding dominate our life (lives?).
    In a world, our present lives are more comfortable and happier than those of our grandparents mentally and materially and we should cherish our life (lives?), treating our grandparents better, helping them adopt modern life.

说点意见 整体不错
优点: 句式较为复杂 多变 语法错误少
缺点: 个人感觉有的句子虽然没有语法错误 用词也比较高级 但是给人感觉不是很流畅 个人认为跟选词有关 还有 动词ing 表达方式用的太多了 有些地方可以用名词代替

不对的地方见谅

LonelydanceUID: 2456465

首先对xiaojing1115 表示歉意,因为刚刚看懂规则,我这就去给你改,另外谢谢两位精彩点评