【12月-1月IBT综合备考大帖】之【TWE作文】by lonelydance 12.27

LonelydanceUID: 2456465

      In the modern society, people increasingly find themselves surrounded by variety forms of advertisements wherever they are. On the poles of subway station, or the walls of streets, you will be surprised if find no one attached on them. Why do the modern business men go such a long length to introduce their products in the era where low costs are definitely essential for enterprises to survive and advertisements undoubtedly increase their prices, leading to low profits? Someone argue that the benefits brought by advertisements outweigh the costs needed to pay for it significantly. Others hold negative ideas toward ads and believe that customers know what they want, paying no attentions to the ads. I support the former idea.
     People tend to think less and make decisions quickly if they’re interested in something. A fair advertisement can attract certain group of people’s attention to a point where those who’re interested in the product prefer to buy it.  A perfect advertisement can achieve such amazing effect that most of people watching the ads find it a big bargain to buy the product and they can’t wait. Though they know advertisement can’t stand for the real product, they prefer to buy first without thinking too much rather than miss it due to their delayed decision. There is a case in China where an unnoticed medication manufacturer make their product break the sale record in the country by their advertisement, which claims that it can delay the aging process of human body. In order to convince customers of its potency, the ad use several pictures contrasting the conditions of skins between those who use it and those who don’t. It also employs some pop stars and models to praise the medication as if it is a remedy that allows the vitality and youth stay forever. The advertisement makes a surprising success, leading a large number of young ladies and elder women to buy it without thinking too much. In this case, those who suspect about its potency before change their attitudes, joining the movement.
      Also, if the market is dominated by some well established businesses, you will find it impossible to hit it by means of lowering price or cost. In this case, advertising is your only choice to make your product known by public. Because advertising can reach into any group of people’s life, it can nearly tell everyone in the society that there is such a wonderful product, having such a low price and amazing effect. Sooner or later, you will find the advertisement perfect the product to a point where the reputation of it has been established and it has became competitive over other brands in the area.
      In a word, advertisement is a by product of modern industrialization, standing for great progresses in marketing. It can motivate customers to buy your product without weighing too much about its real value, giving you a chance to exhibit your product and compete with other renowned ones in the market.

hustly0415UID: 2407456

In themodern society, people increasingly find themselves surrounded by variety formsof advertisements wherever they are. On the poles of subway station, or thewalls of streets, you will be surprised if find no one attached on them. Why dothe modern business men (businessmen)go such a long length to introduce their products in the era where (when?) lowcosts are definitely essential for enterprises to survive and advertisementsundoubtedly increase their prices, leading to low profits? Someone argue thatthe benefits brought by advertisements outweigh the costs needed to pay for itsignificantly. Others hold negative ideas toward ads and believe that customersknow what they want, paying no attentions to the ads. I support the formeridea.

Peopletend to think less and make decisions quickly if they’re interested insomething. A fair advertisement can attract certain group of people’s attentionto a point where those who’re interested in the productprefer to buy it. A perfect advertisement can achieve such amazing effect thatmost of people watching the ads find it a big bargain to buy the product andthey can’t wait. (赞一个，很喜欢这两个句子的句式)Though they know advertisementcan’t stand for the real product, they prefer to buy first without thinking toomuch rather than miss it due to their delayed decision. There is a case inChina where an unnoticed medication manufacturer make their product break thesale record in the country by their advertisement, which claims that it candelay the aging process of human body. In order to convince customers of itspotency, the ad use several pictures contrasting the conditions of skinsbetween those who use it and those who don’t. It also employs some pop starsand models to praise the medication as if it is a remedy that allows thevitality and youth stay forever. The advertisement makes a surprising success,leading a large number of young ladies and elder women to buy it withoutthinking too much. In this case, those who suspect about its potency beforechange their attitudes, joining the movement.

Also,if the market is dominated by some well established businesses, you will findit impossible to hit it by means of lowering price or cost. In this case,advertising is your only choice to make your product known by （the） public. Because advertisingcan reach into (删掉into) any group of people’s life (reach any group ofpeople就可以了吧),it can nearly tell everyone in the society that there is such a wonderfulproduct, having such a low price and amazing effect. Sooner or later, you willfind the advertisement perfects the product toa point where the reputation of it has been established and it has became (become more) competitiveover other brands in the area.

In aword, advertisement is a by product of modernindustrialization (这句感觉有点乱..), standing for great progresses inmarketing. It can motivate customers to buy your product without weighing toomuch about its real value, giving you a chance to exhibit your product andcompete with other renowned ones in the market.




作者在文章当中使用到的句式很好，语言功底比我好，呵呵，值得我学习。但我对作者的文章结构有点小看法：开头段太长。开头段只是为了引出问题的，尽量早点点题比较好。而这个开头段甚至都比第二个论证段还长。
另外，请注意那个statement的提法，感觉你举的例子很好，但是好像对例子的阐述不是很好，跟statement靠得不近。个人认为，重点应该在consumers know what they need to buy.

yuanyuan@560806UID: 2513323

In the modern society, people increasingly find themselves surrounded by variety forms of advertisements wherever they are. On the poles of subway station, or the walls of streets, you will be surprised if find no one attached on them. （you will be surprised to find that no one attached on them ）Why do the modern business men go such a long length to introduce their products in the era where (when) low costs are definitely essential for enterprises to survive and advertisements undoubtedly increase their prices, leading to low profits? Someone argue(s) that the benefits brought by advertisements outweigh the costs needed to pay for it significantly. Others hold negative ideas toward ads (书面语不要缩写) and believe that customers know what they want, paying no attentions to the ads. I support the former idea. |留学|签证|
     People tend to think less and make decisions quickly if they're interested in something. A fair advertisement can attract certain group of people’s attention to a point where  those who’re interested in the product prefer to buy it. （赞） A perfect advertisement can achieve such amazing effect that most of people watching the ads find it a big bargain to buy the product and they can’t wait. Though they know advertisement can’t stand for the real product, they prefer to buy first without thinking too much rather than miss it due to their delayed decision. There is a case in China where an unnoticed medication manufacturer make their product break the sale record in the country by their advertisement, which claims that it can delay the aging process of human body. In order to convince customers of its potency, the ad use several pictures contrasting the conditions of skins between those who use it and those who don’t. It also employs some pop stars and models to praise the medication as if it is a remedy that allows the vitality and youth stay forever. The advertisement makes a surprising success, leading a large number of young ladies and elder women to buy it without thinking too much. In this case, those who suspect about its potency before change their attitudes, joining the movement.

Also, if the market is dominated by some well established businesses, you will find it impossible to hit it by means of lowering price or cost. In this case, advertising is your only choice to make your product known by public. Because advertising can reach into any group of people’s life, it can nearly tell everyone in the society that there is such a wonderful product, having such a low price and amazing effect. Sooner or later, you will find the advertisement perfect the product to a point where the reputation of it has been established and it has became competitive over other brands in the area.

In a word, （an）advertisement is a by product of modern industrialization, standing for great progresses in marketing. It can motivate customers to buy your product without weighing too much about its real value, giving you a chance to exhibit your product and compete with other renowned ones in the market.
总体来看，开头太长，中间两段应该长过开头，语言方面有点中式。 加油会更好！

[ 本帖最后由 yuanyuan@560806 于 2008-12-30 16:20 编辑 ]