issue56 第二篇，谢谢大家拍^_^

11yvetteUID: 2102418

题目：
56"Governments should focus more on solving the immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future."
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字数：593 words
时间：1h15m（又是这样，为什么总不提高:(）
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提纲：
B1. 政府只顾及眼前问题而忽视即将发生问题所带来的后果
B2. 开始将目光放长远对于政府办公的益处
B3. 目光是否长远，是否适合考虑将来发生的问题也受基础条件的制约
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正文：
Tremendous problems are confronted by governments to be solved. But the determination on whether focus more on immediate problems or on anticipated ones are definitely vital for governments. What are still fresh in my minds are that happened in 1990s in China as traffic jam explored almost within one night; Old apartments needed to turn down in order to develop more broader streets; Many outdated significant factories bankrupted as employees lost their instant jobs. As my mind goes are that take more care on the anticipated problems are sometimes a more effective way to solve problems.

Everyday governments meet their work on programming and planning the traffic, the city and the life quality of residents. However, the troubles are still appearing in the next day. Why? Why some problems are worked out seems perfectly but reappear after months or years? It may contribute to that Governments do not open their sight to the future, they only solve the problem itself but forget to foresee whether the approach they adopted today would influence tomorrow, even the influence are whether positive or negative. Let’s look at one instance above, the decision of turning down old apartments along the streets planned by government to broader the streets in some scale are the emblem of lacking focus on the anticipated problems of the future. If government thought the problem ahead that one day in the future the streets maybe needed to broader when they build up these buildings, they would like to make residual space so that the apartments would not be dilapidated today which for government is sustain the financing, while for residents is making all things convenient what is the basic concept for government serving for the citizens.

When the government begins to focus more on the future, it may seems more difficult than they just focus on the immediate problems, as the government should consider realms of one problem they faced, but the phenomenon just occurs in the very beginning, as the thinking way gradually becomes a concept and a habit, the government would realize that the problem they meet are not the one they used to meet before, so that the working efficiency would be boosted dramatically. As such concept is planted deeply in the government, the city constructions are developed fluently and the citizens' life quality is highly magnified. 15 years before, Shanghais started to construct the railway, because the government put the position on Shanghai’s future development, we can see the forecast of Shanghai government from the planning of the metro, now the railway system in Shanghai is connected the original rural region to the center of the city in only a half an hour distant, which increases the satisfaction of the government by the citizens.

However, the transformation of the government from only focus on immediate problems to anticipated problems needs lots of basic conditions. We can not demand a poorly-develop area government to cast long sight when they do not solve the elementary problems such as the citizens do not have enough food. For them, we need to wait, waiting to the area begins to turn the poor cloths off, and we may conduct the government learning to see forward then construct the area step by step.

As we discussed above, for the government knowing its fundamental aims which are making people's life more convenient and the city-construction more effective, it should trying to make its sights even longer rather than only solving the immediate problem itself, then, it would be accepted and praised by the citizens forever long.
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谢谢帮助拍砖的g友，请将您的issue链接附上，我们一同前进:handshake

[ Last edited by 11yvette on 2005-6-30 at 22:37 ]

11yvetteUID: 2102418

哎....还是无人问津啊~~~

zmmaryUID: 2105117

贴到Word里了,什么时候改了给你贴上来.

11yvetteUID: 2102418

先谢了哈:handshake

zmmaryUID: 2105117

在走之前弄出来了,就贴了,还赶得上打水和吃饭.:D
"Governments should focus more on solving the immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future."

Tremendous problems are confronted by governments to be solved. But the determination on whether focus more on immediate problems or on anticipated ones are definitely vital for governments. What are still fresh in my minds are that happened in 1990s in China as traffic jam explored almost within one night; Old apartments needed to turn down in order to develop more broader streets; Many outdated significant factories bankrupted as employees lost their instant jobs. 前两个分句还有联系，这个第三句有嘛联系啊。我不大懂的说。要说中国的例子，就前因后果交代清楚，要不然让有好晕啊。虽然有点明白你想说的是什么意思，还是讲明白点好。As my mind goes are that take more care on the anticipated problems are sometimes a more effective way to solve problems.

Everyday governments meet their work on programming and planning the traffic, the city and the life quality of residents. However, the troubles are still appearing in the next day. Why? Why some problems are worked out seems perfectly but reappear after months or years? It may contribute to that Governments do not open their sight to the future, they only solve the problem itself but forget to foresee whether the approach they adopted today would influence tomorrow, even the influence are whether positive or negative. Let’s look at one instance above, the decision of turning down old apartments along the streets planned by government to broader the streets in some scale are the emblem of lacking focus on the anticipated problems of the future. If government thought the problem ahead that one day in the future the streets maybe needed to broader when they build up these buildings, they would like to make residual space so that the apartments would not be dilapidated today which for government is sustain the financing, while for residents is making all things convenient what is the basic concept for government serving for the citizens.我知道你这段话是想说governments只顾眼前的后果，但是语言表达得好不准确好不地道噢，需要多琢磨噢。我在这方面其实也很菜的说，结果被某人一眼看出来是没考过T的。等我自己先练好了再说别人，呵呵。觉得多加研究的话，这一段本该显得很好的。内在逻辑还是可以的。

When the government begins to focus more on the future, it may seems more difficult than they just focus on the immediate problems, as the government should consider realms of one problem they faced, but the phenomenon just occurs in the very beginning, as the thinking way gradually becomes a concept and a habit, the government would realize that the problem they meet are not the one they used to meet before, so that the working efficiency would be boosted dramatically.一直到这里才看到句号，已经下来一半了，第一句应该是主题句的，让人一看就明白的主题句啊。 As such concept is planted deeply in the government, the city constructions are developed fluently and the citizens' life quality is highly magnified. 15 years before, Shanghais started to construct the railway, because the government put the position on Shanghai’s future development, we can see the forecast of Shanghai government from the planning of the metro, now the railway system in Shanghai is connected the original rural region to the center of the city in only a half an hour distant, which increases the satisfaction of the government by the citizens.前半段说的是养成foresee的习惯的好处。后半段举例说因为foresee造就了上海的良好发展。你要不写前一段的意思，说因为foresee逐渐怎样怎样的；要不说foresee好，举上海的例子说如何好。其实甚至可以写成两个自然段，第一个说如何好，第二个说moreover, 还有累积增加的好处

However, the transformation of the government from only focus on immediate problems to anticipated problems needs lots of basic conditions. We can not demand a poorly-develop area government to cast long sight when they do not solve the elementary problems such as the citizens do not have enough food. For them, we need to wait, waiting to the area begins to turn the poor cloths off, and we may conduct the government learning to see forward then construct the area step by step.

As we discussed above, for the government knowing its fundamental aims which are making people's life more convenient and the city-construction more effective, it should trying to make its sights even longer rather than only solving the immediate problem itself, then, it would be accepted and praised by the citizens forever long.

呵呵，你的语言真的比较惨。不过我相信你多写写的话，会写得很好的，因为你在文章架构和对例子的表达方面还是比较好的，这两点rather important.
语言这东西，小敲小补用处不是太大，还是靠积累，某人说的，我觉得也是。
多写，再每天读些东西。
我时间不多，要不然倒可以帮你一寸一寸挑的。估计那样至少要两个小时左右。

11yvetteUID: 2102418

太感谢zmmary对我的问题的指出啦~~~
正切中了要害了啊,尤其是写这篇的时候
想到要说的,可就是写不出来,真挺急的
定在8月22日考,心里没底到时候能不能有一个提高啊
~~~~~>_<~~~~~

zmmaryUID: 2105117

你急啥.我8.1就考了.更没底

tangentUID: 209829

题目：
56"Governments should focus more on solving the immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
字数：593 words
时间：1h15m（又是这样，为什么总不提高 ）
----------------------------------------------------------------------
提纲：
B1. 政府只顾及眼前问题而忽视即将发生问题所带来的后果
B2. 开始将目光放长远对于政府办公的益处
B3. 目光是否长远，是否适合考虑将来发生的问题也受基础条件的制约
----------------------------------------------------------------------
正文：
Tremendous problems are confronted by governments to be solved. But the determination on whether focus more on immediate problems focusing on immediate problems is more important or on anticipated ones are definitely vital for governments. What are still fresh in my minds are that happened in 1990s in China as traffic jam explored almost within one night; Old apartments needed to turn down in order to develop more broader 去掉直接用broaden动词会不会更好streets; Many outdated significant factories bankrupted as employees lost their instant jobs. As my mind goes are that take more care on the anticipated problems are sometimes a more effective way to solve immediateproblems.

Everyday governments meet their work on programming and planning the traffic, the city and the life quality of residents. However, the troubles are still appearing in the next day. Why? Why some problems are worked out seems seem perfectly but reappear after months or years? It may contribute to that Governments do not open their sight to the future, 少了连词they only solve the problem itself but forget to foresee whether the approach they adopted today would influence tomorrow, even that the influence are whether positive or negative. Let’s look at one instance above, the decision of turning down old apartments along the streets planned by government to broader broaden the streets in some scale are the emblem of lacking focus on the anticipated problems of the future. If government thought the problem ahead that one day in the future the streets maybe needed to broader同上 when they build up these buildings, they would like to make residual space so that the apartments would not be dilapidated today which for government is sustain the financing, while for residents is making all things convenient what is the basic concept for government serving for the citizens.论据不能代替论点，“B1. 政府只顾及眼前问题而忽视即将发生问题所带来的后果”没有明确写出来，只是写了一个例子。而且我觉的这个例子不是很妥，所以城市都会有改建的问题，只是当时的人口，财政，交通情况决定的。可以说的是环境污染问题

When the government begins to focus more on the future, it may seems more difficult than that they just focus on the immediate problems, as the government should consider realms of one problem they faced, but the phenomenon just occurs in the very beginning, as the thinking way gradually becomes a concept and a habit, the government would realize that the problem they meet are not the one they used to meet before, so that the working efficiency would be boosted dramatically 这句话这么长，是不是有足够的连词. As such concept is planted deeply in the government, the city constructions are developed fluently and the citizens' life quality is highly magnified. 15 years before, Shanghais started to construct the railway, because the government put the position on Shanghai’s future development,又没连词 we can see the forecast of Shanghai government from the planning of the metro, now now作连词是“既然”的意思，用法是now thatthe railway system in Shanghai is connected the original rural region to the center of the city in only a half an hour distant, which increases the satisfaction of the government by the citizens.这段的意思比较明确

However, the transformation of the government from only focus on immediate problems to anticipated problems needs lots of basic conditions. We can not demand a poorly-develop area government to cast long sight when they do not solve the elementary problems such as the citizens do not have enough food. 有人没吃饱的政府就不能有预见性吗？呵呵，很很说不过去啊。他可以为了当前的饥饿问题而不考虑别的以后的问题？For them, we need to wait, waiting to the area begins to turn the poor cloths off, and we may conduct the government learning to see forward then construct the area step by step.

As we discussed above, for the government knowing its fundamental aims which are making people's life more convenient and the city-construction more effective, it should trying to make its sights even longer rather than only solving the immediate problem itself, then, it would be accepted and praised by the citizens forever long.总体说不能只在一个例子上徘徊，建议B1：政府只顾及眼前问题而忽视即将发生问题所带来的后果。如环境污染问题，我们不能为了现在的经济而挥霍资源B2：开始将目光放长远可以提供政府办公效率，提高民众的支持。例子？呵呵一时也想不出了。B3. 目光是否长远，是否适合考虑将来发生的问题也受当时的思想境界所限制

11yvetteUID: 2102418

感谢tangent哦~~~
看来存在的问题太多了啊~~~
嗯,这就回去好好改
加油加油