issue52 同主题9，干一行得有一行的规矩，留链接必回

11yvetteUID：2102418

----题目----
52"Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony."

----提纲----
B1教育能使学生质疑和批判，这有助于培养学生钻研精神，从而促进社会的发展与和谐
B2教育有助于推进社会和谐
B3若固执己见，而不是以批判质疑为途径达到和谐，那么社会的和谐就会被破坏，但是教育还培养了人其他方面的能力，对和谐有促进作用

----正文----
Educational issue always arouses polemic, and many people think that education helps promote social harmony, while some other people believe that education impedes the development of social harmony. What I support is that education makes effort to magnify social harmony to the largest extent not only by offering the ability of questioning and criticizing.

To begin with, the purpose of education is the most important definition for us to understand its effects, which is to enlighten people, to construct their knowledge structure, and to promote the development of society. As a result, people learn knowledge transmitted by teachers and they also learn how to learn such as to question and criticize which helps them pursue their self-study further after leaving campus. Questioning and criticizing are the abilities for people to study more with their own thoughts of problems instead of confessing and swallowing blindly all that they have got from books, teachers, and authorities. Possessing such abilities helps them and the society as well to search for facts, overthrow pseudo-science and establish new theories which are quoted by some one to prove the side effect of education that breaks the balance of society, whereas, they ignore the substance that the social harmony bases on social development. After deliberately questioning and criticizing, individuals hold a new knowledge in their minds as their own. Thus, they would repay the society what they have been taught, and keep the consequence of society.

Secondly, the ability of questioning and criticizing assists society with its harmony. Social harmony is always expressed by religious harmony, racial harmony, cultural harmony and harmony among citizens in society. Someone may argue that criticizing and questioning are only resisting the harmony, however, they only consider superficially. In fact, criticizing and questioning do not represent quarrelling and complaining. The aim of criticizing and questioning is to attain the approbation of the different ideas which leads to harmonize the distinct opinions. For example, at late 19th century, missionaries came to China to prevail the Christian, while lots of people believed in Buddhism. After learning differences between the religious beliefs, lots of Chinese began to believe in God which was not so same as what was in western country but had its own characteristics through the campaign of questioning and criticizing. The capability of Christian in China shows us that criticizing and questioning are the facilities which attend to make religious harmony balanced and also with other harmony as social harmony.

However, sticking to criticizing and questioning on mouth without devoting to build a perfect society by heart and mind would truly cumber the consequence of society by one who only protects his own extreme opinion. For instance, the terrorists who made the July 7th explosion in London were these people who insist on their extreme pattern of thinking, and perturb the tranquility and peace in London, they "criticized and questioned" the problems of society, but did little on solving them, and finally they did harm to the masses and the society. Yet, education is a process which cultivates the all-facet ability of students including questioning and criticizing, and others such as getting along with people and accustoming to the surroundings which promote social harmony.

In sum, education does optimize the social relationship through its encouraging on students' ability of questioning and criticizing, along with the ability of other aspects.

写完后也改过了，大家给拍拍

[ Last edited by 11yvette on 2005-7-26 at 23:15 ]

bcomerUID：182621

没什么话说，只觉得写得特别好，有QQ吗？ 以后又新作品给我发个链接吧，很想来学习一下。

唯一能说的一点是：尽管分论点都很好也很周全，但B3的例子给人的感觉总是不大恰当，和B3 是在一定程度上相互照应，但对EDUCATION似乎关系很小了，只是和question and criticize 有关，觉得全文的重点应该是Education是否有助于社会和谐，尤其是通过question and criticize能否促进社会和谐：）

……无语了，说道最后似乎又赞同了你一下，但总觉得例子不大恰当。
该主题已订阅，等这看别人的意见：）

kolu_renUID：158196

写的真得很不错，条理跟用词都值得我学习！
只是B2中的Someone may argue that这种说法好像不太好，我也同样觉得B3中的例子似乎跟education没什么关系，是否可以修改一下，譬如说对于terrorists他们受到的教育是鼓励他们去质疑与批判霸权主义者的行为的，但是并不是以恐怖主义袭击的形式来实现的，这样就破坏的社会安定、和谐同时他们本意也被歪曲了！

11yvetteUID：2102418

to bcomer:
改的时候为了B3这个例子想了好久,特别想写几句让它跟教育沾点儿边,可是....
比较失败的说,要不咱们讨论一下能用什么例子吧;)

to kolu_ren:
最让我头痛的就是规范经典的用语:(但是一直都没有长进,谢谢你提出啊~~~



anyway,谢谢大家了,以后一同互改,一同进步啊~~:handshake

bcomerUID：182621

好啊，你的Q是？
还是在这里说？你还有什么好的例子，想法:)

esmeirasUID：202885

我来砸了..~~~~

tangentUID：209829

----题目----
52"Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony."

----提纲----
B1教育能使学生质疑和批判，这有助于培养学生钻研精神，从而促进社会的发展与和谐
B2教育有助于推进社会和谐
B3若固执己见，而不是以批判质疑为途径达到和谐，那么社会的和谐就会被破坏，但是教育还培养了人其他方面的能力，对和谐有促进作用

----正文----
Educational issue always arouses polemic, and many people think that education helps promote social harmony, while some other people believe that education impedes the development of social harmony. What I support is that education makes effort to magnify social harmony to the largest extent not only by offering the ability of questioning and criticizing.

To begin with, the purpose of education is the most important definition for us to understand its effects, which is to enlighten people, to construct their knowledge structure, and to promote the development of society. As a result, people learn knowledge transmitted by teachers and they also learn how to learn怎么又有一个 such as to question and criticize which helps them pursue their self-study further after leaving campus. Questioning and criticizing are the abilities for people to study more with their own thoughts of problems instead of confessing and swallowing blindly all that they have got from books, teachers, and authorities. Possessing such abilities helps them and the society as well to search for facts, overthrow pseudo-science and establish new theories which are quoted by some one to prove the side effect of education that breaks the balance of society, whereas, they ignore the substance that the social harmony bases on social development.这个句子好复杂 After deliberately questioning and criticizing, individuals hold a new knowledge in their minds as their own. Thus, they would repay the society what they have been taught, and keep the consequence of society.看完后我觉得好像和提纲对不上啊

Secondly, the ability of questioning and criticizing assists society with its harmony. Social harmony is always expressed by religious harmony, racial harmony, cultural harmony 可以省略harmonyand harmony among citizens in society. Someone may argue that criticizing and questioning are only resisting the harmony, however, they only consider superficially. In fact, criticizing and questioning do not represent quarrelling and complaining. The aim of criticizing and questioning is to attain the approbation of the different ideas which leads to harmonize the distinct opinions. For example, at late 19th century, missionaries came to China to prevail the Christian, while lots of people believed in Buddhism. After learning differences between the religious beliefs, lots of Chinese began to believe in God which was not so same as what was in western country but had its own characteristics through the campaign of questioning and criticizing. 这个例子不太通吧？The capability of Christian in China shows us that criticizing and questioning are the facilities which attend to make religious harmony balanced and also with other harmony as social harmony.

However, sticking to criticizing and questioning on mouth without devoting to build a perfect society by heart and mind 英文有这个说法吗？是performance吗would truly cumber the consequence of society by one who only protects his own extreme opinion. For instance, the terrorists who made the July 7th explosion in London were these people who insist on their extreme pattern of thinking, and perturb the tranquility and peace in London, they "criticized and questioned" the problems of society, but did little on solving them, and finally they did harm to the masses and the society. Yet, education is a process which cultivates the all-facet ability of students including questioning and criticizing, and others such as getting along with people and accustoming to the surroundings which promote social harmony.这句不要了吧，或者论证多些

In sum, education does optimize the social relationship through its encouraging on students' ability of questioning and criticizing, along with the ability of other aspects.有时间的话还是写多点

nksisiUID：2101023

Educational issue always arouses polemic, and many people think that education helps promote social harmony, while some other people believe that education impedes the development of social harmony. What I support is that education makes effort to magnify social harmony to the largest extent not only by offering the ability of questioning and criticizing.

To begin with, the purpose of education is the most important definition for us to understand its effects, which is to enlighten people, to construct their knowledge structure, and to promote the development of society. As a result, people learn knowledge transmitted by teachers and they also learn how to learn such as to question and to criticize which helps them pursue their self-study further after leaving campus. Questioning and criticizing are the abilities for people to study more with their own thoughts of problems instead of confessing and swallowing blindly all that they have got from books, teachers, and authorities. Possessing such abilities helps them and the society as well to search for facts, overthrow pseudo-science and establish new theories which are quoted by some one to prove the side effect of education that breaks the balance of society, whereas, they ignore the substance that the social harmony bases on social development. After deliberately questioning and criticizing, individuals hold a new knowledge in their minds as their own.这个有点绝对了吧 Thus, they would repay the society what they have been taught, and keep the consequence of society.感觉ts和后面的联系不是很紧密啊

Secondly, the ability of questioning and criticizing assists society with its harmony. Social harmony is always expressed by religious harmony, racial harmony, cultural harmony and harmony among citizens in society. Someone may argue that criticizing and questioning are only resisting the harmony, however, they only consider superficially. In fact, criticizing and questioning do not represent quarrelling and complaining. The aim of criticizing and questioning is to attain the approbation of the different ideas which leads to harmonize the distinct opinions. For example, at late 19th century, missionaries came to China to prevail the Christian, while lots of people believed in Buddhism. After learning differences between the religious beliefs, lots of Chinese began to believe in God which was not so same as what was in western country but had its own characteristics through the campaign of questioning and criticizing. The capability of Christian in China shows us that criticizing and questioning are the facilities which attend to make religious harmony balanced and also with other harmony as social harmony.这个例子不错，呵呵

However, sticking to criticizing and questioning on mouth without devoting to build a perfect society by heart and mind would truly cumber the consequence of society by one who only protects his own extreme opinion. For instance, the terrorists who made the July 7th explosion in London were these people who insist on their extreme pattern of thinking, and perturb the tranquility and peace in London, they "criticized and questioned" the problems of society, but did little on solving them, and finally they did harm to the masses and the society. Yet, education is a process which cultivates the all-facet ability of students including questioning and criticizing, and others such as getting along with people and accustoming to the surroundings which promote social harmony.

In sum, education does optimize the social relationship through its encouraging on students' ability of questioning and criticizing, along with the ability of other aspects.

写的挺好的哦，呵呵，例子也不错，后面的没很仔细看，（眼睛疼的不行了），呵呵
功底很好，
有空拍拍我的吧，谢

esmeirasUID：202885

Educational issue always arouses polemic, and many people think that education helps promote social harmony, while some other peoplesome others 尽量减少名词重复.believe that education impedes the development of social harmony 还是觉得重复. What I support is中式思维。 In my opinion  or in my point of view 之类的就行了  that education makes effort to magnify social harmony to the largest extent not only by offering the ability of questioning and criticizing. 意思明白，可句式感觉比较混乱,感觉还没说完。
To begin with, the purpose of education is the most important definition for us to understand its effects( 罗嗦, education 后面的都删掉) which is to enlighten people, to construct their knowledge structure, and to promote the development of society. As a result, people learn knowledge transmitted by teachers and they also learn how to learn such as to question and criticize which helps them pursue their self-study further(去) after leaving campus in the future. Questioning and criticizing are the abilities for people to study more with their own thoughts of problems instead of confessing 这个词放这里感觉不太对 accepting 感觉都顺眼些and swallowing blindly all that they have got from books, teachers, and authorities. Possessing such abilities helps them and the society as well to search for facts, overthrow pseudo-science and establish new theories which are quoted by some one to prove the side effect of education that breaks the balance of society, whereas, they ignore the substance that the social harmony bases on social development. 这句经典！ 我怎么没想到呢  。这里观点不错 After deliberately questioning and criticizing, individuals hold a new knowledge in their minds as their own. Thus, they would repay the society what they have been taught, and keep the consequence意思是结果，后果 ，换个吧 of society.

Secondly, the ability of questioning and criticizing assists society with its harmony. Social harmony is always expressed by religious harmony, racial harmony, cultural harmony and harmony among citizens in society. Someone may argue that criticizing and questioning are only resisting the harmony, however, they only consider superficially 好词. In fact, criticizing and questioning do not represent quarrelling and complaining. 赞 The aim of criticizing and questioning is to attain the approbation of the different ideas which leads to harmonize the distinct opinions. For example, at late 19th century, missionaries came to China to prevail the Christian, while lots of people believed in Buddhism. After learning differences between the religious beliefs, lots of Chinese began to believe in God which was not so as, the same as what was in western country but had its own characteristics through the campaign of questioning and criticizing. The capability of Christian in China shows us that criticizing and questioning are the facilities which attend to make religious harmony balanced and also with other harmony as social harmony. 我把这个论点放在了第一点，把education 放在了第二点： 这一段比上一段感觉好多了

However, sticking to criticizing and questioning on mouth without devoting to build a perfect society by heart and mind would truly cumber the consequence of society by one who only protects his own extreme opinion. For instance, the terrorists who made the July 7th explosion in London were these people who insist on their extreme pattern of thinking, and perturb the tranquility and peace in London, they "criticized and questioned" the problems of society, but did little on solving them, and finally they did harm to the masses and the society. Yet, education is a process which cultivates the all-facet ability of students including questioning and criticizing, and others such as getting along with people and accustoming to the surroundings which promote social harmony. ( 例子，偶观点同楼上大家的。)

In sum, education does optimize the social relationship through its encouraging on students' ability of questioning and criticizing, along with the ability of other aspects.

Commentary:
1.        观点很明确，论证还是很充分的 赞
2.        词汇很丰富，尤其是名词。 羡慕ing. However, 词的使用错误太多！ 要不就是不恰当。 建议适当查查字典，看看英文解释。 还有，注意增加代词使用。
3.        句子还不够精练。 不过GRE 重逻辑，也没啥啦
Last but not least, 偶下手够狠的。。。。~~~~回拍狠的我也受得住 ;P
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