issue59 拍啊拍!

飞啊~飞UID: 2121330

Issue59: 501words
Too much emphasis is placed on role models. Instead of copying others, people should learn to think and act independently and thus make the choices that are best for them.

1.        榜样的好处：激励人们不断进步，不怕困难；居里
2.        独立的好处：锻炼分析能力，
3.        符合自己喜好；找男朋友

I fundamentally agree with the author's assertion that people learn to think and act independently to make choices that are best for them. However, the important effect of role models is indispensable. In my opinion, to make the best choice, people should learn from role models, at the same time, think and act independently, gaining the ability of analysis and considering the specific constitution of themselves.

To begin with, role models inspire people to go after success and they will provide a great of experience at the first hand, which is reference for our choices. People always want to give up when they facing the difficulties, while the role models no matter in economic areas or in scientific field, are the impetus to make people hold on and stick to their goal. For example, after hearing the story of Maria Curie, I told myself that I would be a brilliant scientist just like her. It helps to inspire my interest on scientist, and now I have more choices, comparing with the others having a greater opportunity to make a better choice.

However, if one only copies the role model, without independent thinking and action, one will totally be lead by others rather oneself. Thus call for initiative thinking and action to make the best and most suitable choice. For one thing, in the process of independent thinking and action, one practices his or her ability to analysis, reason and solving problems, which are also pivotal when making choices. To make the best choice, one has to analyses the situation of oneself and compares various candidate choice, considering the specific probable results of those choice. If only copying other in the daily life, one looses the opportunities to form his or her the fundamental ability to judge the possible results of choice.

For another, the best choice is the one most suitable to oneself. Only by thinking and act independently can one get to know and understand oneself, and know what likes or dislikes, then can he or she know which is the best choice. A good case in point is that, when a girl choose her boyfriend, no matter how the others’ boyfriends are, if this girl does not consider which kind of boys she likes, how tall he is, how much money he owns, and what education he accepts, she will never find a boy suitable for her. Also, only after communicating with a specific boy, can this girl know whether the boy will be her future husband or not. Therefore, no matter how much information from others you get, to make the best choice for yourself, you have to think and act by yourself, otherwise, the choice may not fit you but others.

In sum, role models play an important role in our life, inspiring us to make our life better and facilitating us to make choice, to make the best choice, mostly fitting to oneself, one still should achieve the goal by independent thinking and action as well.

飞啊~飞UID: 2121330

polymathUID: 179557

请先把标题的格式按社区的统一格式改过来!我们才好修改!改完请re我!:)

polymathUID: 179557

那里有修改呀？还说改好了！:O
看下面的，社区首页上有！:mad:

题目格式样例： issuexxx G-89-互助社-xx日同主题写作 ………（省略号代表后面的内容自己添加，但注意礼貌！）
                        argumentxxx G-89-互助社-xx日同主题写作 ………（省略号代表后面的内容自己添加，但注意礼貌！）

vico8478UID: 2120997

Issue59: 501words
Too much emphasis is placed on role models. Instead of copying others, people should learn to think and act independently and thus make the choices that are best for them.

1.        榜样的好处：激励人们不断进步，不怕困难；居里
2.        独立的好处：锻炼分析能力，
3.        符合自己喜好；找男朋友

I fundamentally agree with the author's assertion that people learn to think and act independently to make choices that are best for them. However, the important effect of role models is indispensable. In my opinion, to make the best choice, people should（should 后面的动词用的有点儿问题，如果learn,think,act都是原型，为什么gain要用分词呢？） learn from role models, at the same time, think and act independently, gaining the ability of analysis and considering the specific constitution of themselves（开头的论点表述的很清楚）

To begin with, role models inspire people to go after success and they will provide a great of （这个此用的不好，尽量不要用口语）experience at the first hand, which is reference for our choices. People always want to give up（如果写choose giving up更好一些，不经放弃不是want） when they facing the difficulties, while the role models no matter in economic areas or in scientific field, are the impetus to make people hold on and stick to their goal. For example, after hearing the story of Maria Curie, I told myself that I would be a brilliant scientist just like her. It helps to inspire （inspire后面接人吧）my interest on scientist, and now I have more choices, comparing with the others having a greater opportunity to make a better choice.（个人认为这个例子的说服性不强，不是例子本身不好，我觉得你应该把居里对你的影响再说得更有说服力一些，比如让你学习成绩进步或是别的什么，只是说选择更多有点儿含糊）

However, if one only copies the role model, without independent thinking and action, one will totally be lead by others rather oneself. Thus call for initiative thinking and action to make the best and most suitable choice. For one thing, in the process of independent thinking and action, one practices his or her ability to analysis, reason and solving（语法错误，前面是to这里用solving不对） problems, which are also pivotal when making choices. To make the best choice, one has to analyses（analyse） the situation of oneself and compares various candidate choice, considering the specific probable results of those choice. If only copying other in the daily life, one looses（ loses） the opportunities to form his or her the fundamental ability to judge the possible results of choice.（如果能再举一个机械模仿他人的例子就好了）

For another, the best choice is the one most suitable to oneself. Only by thinking and act（acting） independently can one get to know and understand oneself, and know what likes or dislikes, then can he or she know which is the best choice. A good case in point is that, when a girl choose her boyfriend, no matter how the others’ boyfriends are, if this girl does not consider which kind of boys she likes, how tall he is, how much money he owns, and what education he accepts, she will never find a boy suitable for her. Also, only after communicating with a specific boy, can this girl know whether the boy will be her future husband or not. Therefore, no matter how much information from others you get, to make the best choice for yourself, you have to think and act by yourself, otherwise, the choice may not fit you but others.（这个例子在说的时候感觉与题目不太贴切，题目说得是模仿他人与自我个性，然而这个例子没有说与模仿他人有什么关系）

In sum, role models play an important role in our life, inspiring us to make our life better and facilitating us to make choice, to make the best choice, mostly fitting to oneself, one still should achieve the goal by independent thinking and action as well.

正文的前两段写的不错，不过例子还需要再深入一些就好了。第三段我建议再想一想，觉得与主题不是太密切。
拍的有点儿狠了，不好意思喽:p，朝着6分努力吧，加油！

phobeUID: 199595

issue59 拍啊拍!

Issue59: 501words
Too much emphasis is placed on role models. Instead of copying others, people should learn to think and act independently and thus make the choices that are best for them.

1.        榜样的好处：激励人们不断进步，不怕困难；居里
2.        独立的好处：锻炼分析能力，
3.        符合自己喜好；找男朋友

I fundamentally agree with the author's assertion that people learn to think and act independently to make choices that are best for them. However, the important effect of role models is indispensable. In my opinion, to make the best choice, people should learn from role models, at the same time, think and act independently, gaining the ability of analysis and considering the specific constitution of themselves.

To begin with, role models inspire people to go after success and they will provide a great of experience at the first hand, which is reference for our choices. People always want to give up when they facing the difficulties, while the role models no matter in economic areas or in scientific field, are the impetus to make people hold on and stick to their goal. For example, after hearing the story of Maria Curie, I told myself that I would be a brilliant scientist just like her. It helps to inspire my interest on scientist, and now I have more choices, comparing with the others having a greater opportunity to make a better choice.[这句不通啊???还有一个很大的现在也困扰我的问题:原文说的是too emphasis is put on role models.那你就应该写是不是现在人们过于重视这个偶像呢?而你写的似乎符合另一个命题:people should put empasis on role models 这个分析是我从精华版的追星剑特训学到的,我觉得挺有道理,但很多这种命题很多人的写法和你的一样,明明原题说目前社会对A过于重视了,而大家的第一段写成了A确实很重要,迷惑啊,请指教!]
However, if one only copies the role model, without independent thinking and action, one will totally be lead[led] by others rather[than] oneself. Thus [it] calls for initiative thinking and action to make the best and most suitable choice. For one thing, in the process of independent thinking and action, one practices his or her ability to analysis, reason and solving problems, which are also pivotal when making choices. To make the best choice, one has to analyses[analyse 低级错误] the situation of oneself and compares various candidate [alternative]choice, considering the specific probable results of those choice. If only copying other in the daily life, one looses the opportunities to form his or her the fundamental ability to judge the possible results of choice.[从反面证should think and act independently这段还行]
For another, the best choice is the one most suitable to oneself. Only by thinking and act independently can one get to know and understand oneself, and know what likes or dislikes[这句多余还有点不通], then can he or she know which is the best choice. A good case in point is that, when a girl choose her boyfriend, no matter how the others’ boyfriends are, if this girl does not consider which kind of boys she likes, how tall he is, how much money he owns, and what education he accepts, she will never find a boy suitable for her. Also, only after communicating with a specific boy, can this girl know whether the boy will be her future husband or not. Therefore, no matter how much information from others you get, to make the best choice for yourself, you have to think and act by yourself, otherwise, the choice may not fit you but others.[从身边找例子,好!]
In sum, role models play an important role in our life, inspiring us to make our life better and facilitating us to make choice, to make the best choice, mostly fitting to oneself, one still should achieve the goal by independent thinking and action as well.  
感觉就是第二段有点不妥,其他挺好,请指教你对第二段看法