Issue7 关于历史与现代! 没什么信心,诚请高手赐教!!!!!跪谢!!!!

yxepochUID：2124411

7. "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."

   Modern technology developments allow us to use another way to record our daily life with more convenience and accuracy. Like video camera, one of the high-tech products enjoying most popularity among people, greatly help us to record a lot of precious moments. However, in my view, whatever wonderful functions it has, written records as a traditional documentation still cannot be overwhelmed in many aspects.
   Admittedly, video camera is prior to written records especially when we want to record some dynamic scenes and important instants. Tourists prefer to use it, because it realizes the possibility to picture the sightseeing directly and show it to other people in dimensions without exaggeration or defamation. Being more often used on the racetrack, video camera helps judges to distinct the winner, even the second one is only half step behind. Moreover, video camera has always worked an important role in demonstrating critical optical evidence about the criminals or even history. It’s the video record that convinces the crimes of thefts, even though they tries hardly to deny at very first.
   Video camera does have dozen of advantages, but it still cannot replace the written records in sufficing to some results. Basically, video camera can hardly give people a general summary and more detail descriptions of certain issue in a relatively short period, so we adopt written records more times. Concerning about the policies or decrees, we need written records to be archived for regularity and permanency. So far, people still get used to use the traditional way to record things in a large scale.
   As far as the specialty of written records I know is that it helps to make people be clearer about article’s connotation. Particularly, we will feel ambiguous to hear a Chinese ancient poet, because we have huge of Chinese characters with different meanings but sound exactly same. If it wasn’t the written records, we would have great difficulties to understand our ancestors’ ideas and pass them on to next generations.
   It’s obvious that people will hold different views towards the problem whether digital records are more advantageous than written ones. Video camera tends to present a vivid view to people while written record helps to make things more detailed. Actually, in the modern society, we find those two ways are combined in many situations for completeness. The most important thing is to select the proper way or maybe both to satisfy our needs to the largest extent.

总共:406字

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-12 at 22:44 ]

林森森UID：163922

The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."

   Modern technology developments allow us to use another way to record our daily life with more convenience and accuracy. Like video camera, one of the high-tech products enjoying most popularity among people, greatly help (S) us to record a lot of precious moments. However, in my view, whatever wonderful functions it has, written records as a traditional documentation still cannot be overwhelmed in many aspects.(不错 背景介绍引出 不过有些小语法错误)
   Admittedly, video camera is prior to written records especially when we want to record some dynamic scenes and important instants. Tourists prefer to use it, because it realizes the possibility to picture the sightseeing directly and show it to other people in dimensions without exaggeration or defamation. Being more often used on the racetrack, video camera helps judges to distinct the winner, even the second one is only half step behind. (记录written所不能的 论据很好)Moreover, video camera has always worked an important role in demonstrating critical optical evidence about the criminals or even history. It’s the video record that convinces the crimes of thefts, even though they tries hardly to deny at very first. (可以增加句总结强调这是WRITTEN RECORD 无法办到的就更好了)   Video camera does have dozenS of advantages, but it still cannot replace the written records in sufficing to some results. Basically, video camera can hardly give people a general summary and more detail descriptions of certain issue in a relatively short period, so we adopt written records more times. Concerning about the policies or decrees, we need written records to be archived for regularity and permanency. So far, people still get used to use the traditional way to record things in a large scale.(恩 你的思路都很清晰 赞!)   As far as the specialty of written records I know is that it helps to make people be clearer about article’s connotation. Particularly, we will feel ambiguous to hear a Chinese ancient poet, because we have huge(amouts)? of Chinese characters with different meanings but sound exactly same. If it wasn’t the written records, we would have great difficulties to understand our ancestors’ ideas and pass them on to next(future) generations.
   It’s(It is!!) obvious that people will hold different views towards the problem whether digital records are more advantageous than written ones. Video camera tends to present a vivid view to people while written record helps to make things more detailed. Actually, in the modern society, we find those two ways are combined in many situations for completeness. The most important thing is to select the proper way or maybe both to satisfy our needs to the largest extent.
(Hey!!全文都写的好好的怎么最后来个败笔??你的TS不是written records as a traditional documentation still cannot be overwhelmed in many aspects. 怎么最后一段又回到中立了. 如果你觉得是让步,也应该把他放在第4段啊,最后一段总结应该对应TS的! 还有, 你的末段前部分意思和第2段一样都是说VIDEO其实还是有作用的,建议你把两者合起来放于第4段!)

8月30日考的兄弟团结起来!  看我的签名  也帮我看看哦  谢谢啦!

[ Last edited by 林森森 on 2005-8-13 at 09:44 ]

momo56288860UID：191433

7. "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."

   Modern technology developments allow us to use another//different是不是好一些// way to record our daily life with more convenience and accuracy//开头很自然//. Like video camera, one of the high-tech products enjoying most popularity among people, greatly help us to record a lot of precious moments//moment//. However, in my view, whatever wonderful functions it has, written records as a traditional documentation still cannot be overwhelmed in many aspects.
   Admittedly, video camera is prior to written records especially when we want to record some dynamic scenes and important instants// dynamic scenes and important instance//. Tourists prefer to use it, because it realizes//make// the possibility to picture the sightseeing directly and show it to other people in dimensions without exaggeration or defamation//好//. Being more often used on the racetrack, video camera helps judges to distinct//distinghuish// the winner, even the second one is only half step behind. Moreover, video camera has always worked//played or taken// an important role in demonstrating critical optical evidence about the criminals or even history. It’s the video record that convinces the crimes of thefts, even though they tries hardly to deny at very//去掉very// first.//本段用了三个例子说明主题句，很好啊//
   Video camera does have dozen of advantages, but it still cannot replace the written records in sufficing to some results. Basically, video camera can hardly give people a general summary and more detail descriptions of certain issue in a relatively short period, so we adopt written records more times. Concerning about the policies or decrees, we need written records to be archived for regularity and permanency. So far, people still get used to use the traditional way to record things in a large scale.
   As far as the specialty of written records I know is that it helps to make people be//去掉be// clearer about article’s connotation. Particularly, we will feel ambiguous to hear a Chinese ancient poet, because we have huge of Chinese characters with different meanings but sound exactly same. If it wasn’t the written records, we would have great difficulties to understand our ancestors’ ideas and pass them on to next generations.//这一段似乎有点问题，好象不是很支持本文的观点，你再改改啊//
   It’s obvious that people will hold different views towards the problem//discussion// whether digital records are more advantageous than written ones//one//. Video camera tends to present a vivid view to people while written record helps to make things more detailed. Actually, in the modern society, we find those two ways are combined in many situations for completeness. The most important thing is to select the proper way or maybe both to satisfy our needs to the largest extent.

yxepochUID：2124411

cruiserjiaUID：2102784