Topic 7互拍才能进步!

xiaowenzi118UID: 202887

Movies and television are really part of our lives today. The more we are familiar to them and enjoy them, the more our behaviors are influenced by them. Movies and televisions influence our behaviors both directly and indirectly.

Movies and television influence our behaviors directly by propaganda. They provide us with hot-topics as well as tell us right from wrong, thus regulate our behaviors. For instance, as environmental problems are highlighted on the news every day, people are more concerned about our environment than ever before. Some people are willing to take the subway rather than driving to reduce the pollution. Other people no longer throw the wasted batteries away after learning about the damage they can cause. Were it not for the propaganda from movies and televisions, people might not have realized the urgency of protecting our environment.

More frequently, movies and television influence our behaviors indirectly by setting examples. Most of us like to watch movies and TV-shows, but not many of us ever think of the great influences they could have on our behaviors. According to a survey from Brazil, the birth rate was greatly reduced which could be a great relief to the nation. Analysis from some of the experts indicated that a popular TV-show which displayed the hard live of a family with too many children was actually contributed to the reduction. It is believed that movies and television could change our value systems as well as our way of lives by just presenting the lives of the characters. This influence is especially obvious on children. Children are young and uncertain, and they tend to imitate the scene in movies and television. Therefore, they become aggressive after watching some violent episodes and could cause trouble both at home and school. Influential as movies and TV are on our behaviors, they should be taken control of.

All in all, movies and television could influence our behaviors both directly and indirectly. We should take advantage of this function as well as take control of them to bring about a healthily developed society.

susan8940UID: 160449

Movies and television are really part of our lives today. The more we are familiar to them and enjoy them, the more our behaviors are influenced by them. Movies and televisions influence our behaviors both directly and indirectly.

Movies and television influence our behaviors directly by propaganda. They provide us with hot-topics as well as tell(是telling吗?) us right from wrong, thus regulate our behaviors. For instance, as environmental problems are highlighted on the news every day, people are more concerned about our environment than ever before. Some people are willing to take the subway rather than driving to reduce the pollution. Other people no longer throw the wasted batteries away after learning about the damage they can cause. Were it not for the propaganda from movies and televisions, people might not have realized the urgency of protecting our environment(新鲜句型:))

More frequently, movies and television influence our behaviors indirectly by setting examples. Most of us like to watch movies and TV-shows, but not many of us ever think of the great influences they could have on our behaviors. According to a survey from Brazil, the birth rate was greatly reduced which could be a great relief to the nation. Analysis from some of the experts indicated that a popular TV-show which displayed the hard live of a family with too many children was(去掉) actually contributed to the reduction. It is believed that movies and television could change our value systems as well as our way of lives by just presenting the lives of the characters. This influence is especially obvious on children. Children are young and uncertain, and they tend to imitate the scene in movies and television. Therefore, they become aggressive after watching some violent episodes and could cause trouble both at home and school. Influential as movies and TV are on our behaviors, they should be taken control of(?).

All in all, movies and television could influence our behaviors both directly and indirectly. We should take advantage of this function as well as take control of them to bring about a healthily developed society.

很好的文章.楼主语句相当老到啊,结构和论证也挺严密!
不过楼主好像特别喜欢用长句子啊,俺水平不济,看的有些吃力:)
建议适当地用些短句子,长短并行,就更完美了.

我的,请楼主指教

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

xiaowenzi118UID: 202887

原帖由 susan8940 于 2006-4-21 19:58 发表
Movies and television are really part of our lives today. The more we are familiar to them and enjoy them, the more our behaviors are influenced by them. Movies and televisions influence our behavi ...

谢了。长句多是受GRE的影响。确实要长短并行看起来比较舒服。
那个新句型是昨天看语法里的倒装句看到的，没想到今天用到了。:)

ben26102UID: 2184045

文章很不错呀~偶像级的~ 水平有限就不拍了
楼主有空指导一下我的吧

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

MellayUID: 2207568

Movies and television are really part of our lives today. The more we are familiar to them and enjoy them, the more our behaviors are influenced by them. Movies and televisions influence 一段里面似乎重复性太强our behaviors both directly and indirectly.

Movies and television influence our behaviors directly by propaganda. They provide us with hot-topics as well as tell us right from wrong, thus regulate our behaviors. For instance, as environmental problems are highlighted on the news every day, people are more concerned about our environment than ever before. Some people are willing to take the subway rather than driving to reduce the pollution. Other people no longer throw the wasted（used） batteries away after learning about the damage they can cause. Were it not for the propaganda from movies and televisions, people might not have realized the urgency of protecting our 前面用people这里用our不太好吧environment
More frequently, movies and television influence our behaviors indirectly by setting examples. Most of us like to watch movies and TV-shows, but not many of us ever think of the great influences they could have on our behaviors. According to a survey from Brazil, the birth rate was greatly reduced which could be a great relief to the nation. Analysis from some of the experts indicated that a popular TV-show which displayed the hard live of a family with too many children was actually contributed 不需要被动 to the reduction.宾语从句套定于从句，可以把句子结构精炼一点It is believed that movies and television could change our value systems as well as our way of living by just presenting the lives of the characters. This influence is especially obvious on children. Children are young and uncertain, and they tend to imitate the scene人应该是不可以模仿场景的吧） in movies and television. Therefore, they become aggressive after watching so me violent episodes and could cause trouble both at home and school. Influential as movies and TV are on our behaviors, they should be taken control of. （这句话固然是用了好举事，可惜前后并没有转折联系，而是因果联系，所以很可惜）

All in all（蛮好的，至少一般人不会用）, movies and television could influence our behaviors both directly and indirectly. 总结就更不能一味重复了嗄，内容一样好歹也要换换句型We should take advantage of this function as well as take control of them this function是什么function,them的指代不明确to bring about a healthily developed society.
结尾写的比较败笔，建议好好重写

句子满通顺的，用词很到位，说明单词上已经没有什么问题了。
不过一些句式和代词的拿捏显得力不从心，再练练吧
能用虚拟语气和倒装句是，只是好像很刻意，怎么都在最后一句？
观点么也蛮好的，说理层次分明，结构上也很好
如果考场上字漂亮说不定是5.5up哦。。。。。

[ 本帖最后由 Mellay 于 2006-4-22 12:21 编辑 ]

清荷才露UID: 2163929

Movies and television are really part(s) of our lives today. The more we are familiar to them and enjoy them, the more our behaviors are influenced by them. Movies and televisions influence our behaviors both directly and indirectly.

(觉得这里可以放一个连词), Movies and television influence our behaviors directly by propaganda. They provide us with hot-topics as well as tell us right from wrong, thus regulate our behaviors. For instance, as environmental problems are highlighted on the news every day, people are more concerned about our environment than ever before. Some people are willing to take the subway rather than driving(to drive? rather than 前后谓语的格式是否应该一致呢？) to reduce the pollution. Other people no longer throw the wasted batteries away after learning about the damage they can cause. Were it not for the propaganda from movies and televisions, people might not have realized the urgency of protecting our environment.(我觉得lz这段的观点很好，例子也很不错哦^^我是鸡蛋里挑骨头了，希望lz不要介意哦:)我要向你学习哦。)

More frequently, movies and television influence our behaviors indirectly by setting examples. Most of us like to watch movies and TV-shows, but not many of us ever think of(按照lz的意思，这里用recognize或者feel比较贴切吧？) the great influences they could have on our behaviors. According to a survey from Brazil, the birth rate was greatly reduced which could be a great relief to the nation. Analysis from some of the experts indicated that a popular TV-show which displayed the hard live of a family with too many children was actually contributed to the reduction. It is believed that movies and television could change our value systems as well as our way of lives by just presenting the lives of the characters(这里读不懂，请lz指教啊~). This influence is especially obvious on children. Children are young and uncertain, and they tend to imitate the scene in movies and television. Therefore, they become aggressive after watching some violent episodes and could cause trouble both at home and school. Influential as movies and TV are on our behaviors, they should be taken control of.

All in all, movies and television could influence our behaviors both directly and indirectly. We should take advantage of this function as well as take control of them to bring about a healthily developed society.

总结：lz的语言能力还是很不错的，句法用的挺好，例子也挺多，估计是受AW的影响吧？但是句子偏长，结构偏复杂，没有穿插简单句。但是第二段有点长，而且个人认为小孩子暴力似乎应该归类到directly一列中吧？anyway,我也不能很确定，因为两方面都好说。

here is mine: welcome to give me some advice.
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

xiaowenzi118UID: 202887

原帖由 Mellay 于 2006-4-22 00:22 发表
Movies and television are really part of our lives today. The more we are familiar to them and enjoy them, the more our behaviors are influenced by them. Movies and televisions influence ...

谢了，改得相当认真。
我要好好考虑一下你的建议了。:)