Issue130 "为我所用"作文小组第二次作业

ellisUID: 2256846

130" How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
提纲：
１．同意社会化决定社会命运，反对后者观点，＂更好的社会＂和我们的想法也许不一样，因为不是一个时代，所以我们不用太在意孩子与我们的价值观不同．
２．社会有人组成，人的行为影响社会，社会化是适应并融入社会，学会如何与人交流和合作．充满冷漠怀疑等的社会，命运是暗淡的．
３．但是不能因为小孩的表现没有符合我们这代人对社会化的理解来判断我们没有学会如何教育小孩．
４．我们只需要教导孩子走上好人的路，无需因为小孩的社会化与自己的想法背道而驰而担心．
５．小孩社会化决定社会命运，历史与社会总是越进化越好．

The speaker's point that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society is agreeable to me. Human beings, as an essential element of society, determine the progress of society. However, the claim about that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, I consider, is specious. "A better society" might be different from our imagination which is always based on our outlook of values distinguishing from children. The parents should not take so much attention to or be worried about the children who are seemly different even conflicting from the figure we intend before.

Consider the speaker's point that the destiny of society depends on how children are socialized today. Socialization, which I define as adapting and entering into society, and understanding how to communicate and cooperate with others, just likes that creek pours into sea. Society is fundamentally composed by people, and it cannot exist without people. People's attitude and behavior not only reflect the society's character, but also influence and determine the direction of society's development. Imagining the condition that people's life is full of loneliness, suspicion, envy, even violence and drugs, what depressive the destiny of this society is.

However, the speaker's claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society is specious and not convincing. Actually, the society is becoming more and more multidimensional. It now has greater tolerance of differing viewpoints and people who are different from us, greater respect for individual rights, and greater cooperation across cultural and national boundaries, as the definition of "a better society". Introverts and extroverts are both taking the considerable role in harmonizing the society. The way of connecting to the other people and the world is easier and wider than before, one can communicate with innumerable and various people all day through internet without going out the room, and might cooperate with people who have same ideas with him or her to run a website. We should not judge that a person who always besides the computer at home is not socialized. Sometimes our values falls behind the current society and the young children, it is undeniable that we should induce children to a right direction, nevertheless, judging children as our own values is inadequate, and furthermore, it is not because that we have learned how to make children socialized.

Moreover, children are the hope of society, they determine the destiny of society, but no one who is living in current age can ensure how the direction of society turns to. So we just should teach the children some experience to conduct them to be a good person, and should not take so much attention to or be worried about the children who are seemly different even conflicting from the figure we intend before, they might contribute to a better society out of our imagination.

In sum, the destiny of society is determined by children's socialization, but every society has its way of socialization differing from the other age of society. History as we know is developing all the time complying with the route of evolution. In my observation, our society is steadily evolving into a more civilized, respectful, and tolerant condition. So, I cannot agree with the speaker's later claim.

usayaUID: 2374023

Thespeaker's point that how children are socialized today determines thedestiny of society is agreeable to me. Human beings, as an essentialelement of society, determine the progress of society. However, theclaim about that we have not yet learned how to raise children who canhelp bring about a better society, I consider, is specious. "A bettersociety" might be different from our imagination which is always basedon our outlook of values distinguishing from children. The parentsshould not take so much attention to or be worried about the childrenwho are seemly different even conflicting from the figure we intendbefore.

Consider the speaker'spoint that the destiny of society depends on how children aresocialized today. Socialization, which I define as adapting andentering into society, and understanding how to communicate andcooperate with others, just likes that creek pours into sea. Society isfundamentally composed by people, and it cannot exist without people.People's attitude and behavior not only reflect the society'scharacter, but also influence and determine the direction of society'sdevelopment. Imagining the condition that people's life is full ofloneliness, suspicion, envy, even violence and drugs, what depressivethe destiny of this society is.(读得很顺，顺得让我想睡觉了，呵呵，但是提个建议，最好在结尾句联系children论证下)

However, the speaker'sclaim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can helpbring about a better society is specious and not convincing.（哈哈，模板，记得以后要脱模） Actually,the society is becoming more and more multidimensional. It now hasgreater tolerance of differing viewpoints and people who are differentfrom us, greater respect for individual rights, and greater cooperationacross cultural and national boundaries, as the definition of "a bettersociety". Introverts and extroverts are both taking the considerablerole in harmonizing the society. The way of connecting to the otherpeople and the world is easier and wider than before, one cancommunicate with innumerable and various people all day throughinternet without going out the room, and might cooperate with peoplewho have same ideas with him or her to run a website. We should notjudge that a person who always besides the computer at home is notsocialized. Sometimes our values falls behind the current society andthe young children, it is undeniable that we should induce children toa right direction, nevertheless, judging children as our own values isinadequate, and furthermore, it is not because that we have learned howto make children socialized.（这段的流畅度也很高，没有明显的语法错误，用词挺妙，但我觉得你是不是前后两个claims放在这段里联系起来论述了对吧?）

Moreover, children are thehope of society, they determine the destiny of society, but no one whois living in current age can ensure how the direction of society turnsto. So we just should teach the children some experience to conductthem to be a good person(单复数是否需要前后一致？), and should not take so much attention to orbe worried about the children who are seemly different even conflictingfrom the figure we intend before, they might contribute to a bettersociety out of our imagination.

In sum, the destiny ofsociety is determined by children's socialization, but every societyhas its way of socialization differing from the other age of society.History as we know is developing all the time complying with the routeof evolution. In my observation, our society is steadily evolving intoa more civilized, respectful, and tolerant condition. So, I cannotagree with the speaker's later claim.


文章总体很流畅，这样的文字应付考试已经没问题了
对于文章的观点，你也已经在开头摆明，但是最好你能列个简单的提纲，这样能让我看得更直观（不好意思，可能是时间比较晚，影响我思路的缘故）
如果可以的话希望你能把你的提纲补上，这样更方便我拍你，呵呵

ellisUID: 2256846

呵呵,非常感谢usaya的拍拍,中文提纲我已经加上了

jenniferganUID: 2443583

The speaker's point that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society is agreeable to me. Human beings, as an essential element of society, determine the progress of society. However, the claim about that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, I consider, is specious. "A better society" might be different from our imagination which is always based on our outlook of values distinguishing from children. The parents should not take(pay) so much attention to or be worried about the children who are seemly different even conflicting from the figures we intendeded before.

Consider the speaker's point that the destiny of society depends on how children are socialized today. Socialization, which I define as adapting and entering into society, and understanding how to communicate and cooperate with others, just likes that creek pours into sea. Society is fundamentally composed by people, and it cannot exist without people. People's attitude and behavior not only reflect the society's character, but also influence and determine the direction of society's development. Imagining the condition that people's life is full of loneliness, suspicion, envy, even violence and drugs, what depressive the destiny of this society is.

However, the speaker's claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society is specious and not convincing. Actually, the society is becoming more and more multidimensional. It now has greater tolerance of differing viewpoints and people who are different from us, greater respect for individual rights, and greater cooperation across cultural and national boundaries, as the definition of "a better society". Introverts and extroverts are both taking the considerable role in harmonizing the society. The way of connecting to the other people and the world is easier and wider than before, one can communicate with innumerable and various people all day through internet without going out the room, and might cooperate with people who have same ideas with him or her to run a website. We should not judge that a person who always besides the computer at home is not socialized. Sometimes our values falls behind the current society and the young children, it is undeniable that we should induce children to a right direction, nevertheless, judging children as our own values is inadequate, and furthermore, it is not because that we have learned how to make children socialized.

我觉得你前面三段的开头有点像argument的，建议直接表达自己的观点更好，其他写得都很好，思想有深度。

Moreover, children are the hope of society, they determine the destiny of society, but no one who is living in current age can ensure how the direction of society turns to. So we just should teach the children some experience to conduct them to be a good person, and should not take(pay) so much attention to or be worried about the children who are seemly different even conflicting from the figure we intendeded before, they might contribute to a better society out of our imagination.In sum, the destiny of society is determined by children's socialization, but every society has its way of socialization differing from the other age of society. History as we know is developing all the time complying with the route of evolution. In my observation, our society is steadily evolving into a more civilized, respectful, and tolerant condition. So, I cannot agree with the speaker's later claim.



[ 本帖最后由 jennifergan 于 2008-3-25 11:53 编辑 ]

yt-sophiaUID: 2342654

The speaker's point that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society is agreeable to me. Human beings, as an essential element of society, determine the progress of society. However, the claim about that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, I consider, is specious. "A better society" might be different from our imagination which is always based on our outlook of values distinguishing from children. The parents should not take so much attention to or be worried about the children who are seemly different even conflicting from the figure we intend before.

Consider the speaker's point that the destiny of society depends on how children are socialized today. Socialization, which I define as adapting and entering into society, and understanding how to communicate and cooperate with others, just likes that creek pours into sea. Society is fundamentally composed by people, and it cannot exist without people. People's attitude and behavior not only reflect the society's character, but also influence and determine the direction of society's development. Imagining the condition that people's life is full of loneliness, suspicion, envy, even violence and drugs, what depressive the destiny of this society is.

However, the speaker's claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society is specious and not convincing. Actually, the society is becoming more and more multidimensional. It now has greater tolerance of differing viewpoints and people who are different from us, greater respect for individual rights, and greater cooperation across cultural and national boundaries, as the definition of "a better society". Introverts and extroverts are both taking the considerable role in harmonizing the society. The way of connecting to the other people and the world is easier and wider than before, one can communicate with innumerable and various people all day through internet without going out the room, and might cooperate with people who have same ideas with him or her to run a website. We should not judge that a person who always besides the computer at home is not socialized. Sometimes our values falls behind the current society and the young children, it is undeniable that we should induce children to a right direction, (建议这里断一下句)nevertheless, judging children as our own values is inadequate, and furthermore, it is not because that we have learned how to make children socialized.

Moreover, children are the hope of society, they determine the destiny of society, but no one who is living in current age can ensure how the direction of society turns to. So we just should teach the children some experience to conduct them to be a good person, and should not take so much attention to or be worried about the children who are seemly different even conflicting from the figure we intend before, they might contribute to a better society out of our imagination.

In sum, the destiny of society is determined by children's socialization, but every society has its way of socialization （这里好像是个从句，是否应该加个关联词）differing from the other age of society. History as we know is developing all the time complying with the route of evolution. In my observation, our society is steadily evolving into a more civilizd, respectful, and tolerant condition. So, I cannot agree with the speaker's later claim.

感觉写的很完美啊，我要好好学习学习。才疏学浅，改不出什么东西。

rienziUID: 2402391

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