IMPULSE作文小组----19811010316-第13次作业

19811010316UID：2220703

Every one needs to deal with various things which they are confronted with in their daily life. In this case, it is necessary for them to inquire other persons for solving methods because they may have never encountered these kinds of problems before. Thus there are two approaches that they can choose: asking older friends of them for help or get advice from friends who as the same age as them. As I see, it is better to search methods to solve my problems from older friends than from peer friends.

First of all, when I was a student of a college, I registered numerous courses which I was not acquaint with so that only older friends could help me but friends at the same grade with me because higher grade friends had learnt about them yet. According to my truly experience, every time when it came to the period of choosing courses I had inquired to my older friends in higher grade about which courses were suitable for my major and how could I acquire a good score in those course. Through absorbing their experience, I made better performances in all my courses than other classmates and indeed acquired a large amount of knowledge.

In the second place, If I have some difficulties to cope with problem in my family or social life, Older friends frequently can supply amazing solutions to them result from their extensive and deeply experience. Take my study career for example; I have ever got a bad score in my college entrance test, and then I was hesitate whether to step into society and find appropriate job for me or learn a more year at school than other students and try that test again. I made my decision to strive one more year after discussing with my older friends. Thus, older friends helped me make a crucial determination.

On the contrary, I often discuss and analyze diverse problems with peer friends not only about personal life but public issues. However, I found some heavy disadvantages of these friends in solving problems such as lack of critical thinking, uncreative thinking and incomplete thinking. From these things I found that I should get more advice from older friends than peer friends.

To sum up, although peer friends can broaden my thinking angle and can supply some advice which I could think about, I need add my own opinions to them. Moreover, older friends' advice is considerable and well-proved by their experience. Therefore, I believe older friends' suggestions more valuable than peer friends’.

saintjUID：2248994

Every one needs to deal with various things which they are confronted with in their daily life. In this case, it is necessary for them to inquire other persons for solving methods because they may have never encountered these kinds of problems before. Thus there are two approaches that they can choose: asking older friends of them for help or get advice from friends who as the same age as them. As I see, it is better to search methods to solve my problems from older friends than from peer friends.bbs.gter.net2u"i2g

EvOk8^,Q留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USAv*c:y1k[

L;f)y?First of all, when I was a student of a college, I registered numerous courses which I was  (did) not acquaint with so that only older friends could help me but friends at the same grade with me because higher grade friends had learnt about them yet. According to my truly experience, every time when it came to(这样用可以吗？不会重复吗？我觉得要么就every time,要么就when it come to，两个一起没见过，） the period of choosing courses I had inquired to my older friends in higher grade about which courses were suitable for my major and how could I acquire a good score in those course. Through absorbing their experience, I made better performances in all my courses than other classmates and indeed acquired a large amount of knowledge. ?!i'n'Ils oNxHbbs.gter.net

u)~']$x%D9pIn the second place, If I have some difficulties to cope with problem in my family or social life, Older friends frequently can supply amazing solutions to them result （resulting) from their extensive and deeply experience. Take my study career for example; I have ever got a bad score in my college entrance test, and then I was hesitate whether to step into society and find appropriate job for me or learn a more year at school than other students and try that test again. I made my decision to strive one more year after discussing with my older friends. Thus, older friends helped me make a crucial determination.O_­l2l` }0X3f!b#NOn the contrary, I often discuss and analyze diverse problems with peer friends not only about personal life but public issues. However, I found some heavy disadvantages of these friends in solving problems such as lack of critical thinking, uncreative thinking and incomplete thinking. From these things I found that I should get more advice from older friends than peer friends.

Iui(C8O4kJDo8r/Z0?E H_]]To sum up, although peer friends can broaden my thinking angle and can supply some advice which I could think about, I need add my own opinions to them. Moreover, older friends' advice is considerable and well-proved by their experience. Therefore, I believe older friends' suggestions more valuable than peer friends’.

双手的温柔UID：173110

Every one needs to deal with various things which they are confronted with in their daily life. In this case, it is necessary for them to inquire other persons for solving methods [solutions] because they may have never encountered these kinds of problems before. Thus there are two approaches that they can choose: asking older friends of them for help or get advice from friends who as the same age as them. As I see, it is better to search methods to solve my problems [look for solutions] from older friends than from peer friends [than peers].

First of all, when I was a student of a college [a college student更简单], I registered numerous courses which I was not acquaint with so that only older friends could help me but friends at the same grade with me because higher grade friends had learnt about them yet [already, yet好像有否定的意思]. According to my truly experience, [去掉according的部分] every time when it came to the period of choosing courses I had inquired to my older friends in higher grade about which courses were suitable for my major and how could I acquire a good score in those course. Through absorbing their experience, I made better performances in all my courses than other classmates and indeed acquired a large amount of knowledge.
[Actually I inquired to higher grade friends every semester for course choosing and the tips on learning. Their usually give me very useful suggestions and the result turned to be nice – by following their suggestions, I made better performance in all my courses than other classmates and master the knowledge very well.]

In the second place, If I have some difficulties to cope with problem in my family or social life, Older friends frequently can supply amazing solutions to them result [resulted?] from their extensive and deeply[deeply 很怪，去掉吧] experience. Take my study career [career 去掉] for 【an】 example; I have ever got a bad score in my college entrance test, and then I was hesitate whether to step into society and find appropriate job for me [for me去掉] or learn a more year at school than other students [spend one more year preparing for a second trial.] and try that test again. I made my decision to strive one more year after discussing with my older friends. Thus, older friends helped me make a crucial determination.

On the contrary, I often discuss and analyze diverse problems with peer friends not only about personal life but public issues. However, I found some heavy [heavy 修饰缺点很奇怪, big 吧]disadvantages of these friends in solving problems such as lack of critical thinking, uncreative thinking and incomplete thinking. From these things I found that I should get more advice from older friends than peer friends.

To sum up, although peer friends can broaden my thinking angle [这个although的部分前面没有说道啊，可以在上面那段提一下，感觉会更连贯，或者直接去掉也行。] and can supply some advice which I could think about, I need add my own opinions to them. Moreover, older friends' advice is considerable and well-proved by their experience. Therefore, I believe older friends' suggestions more valuable than peer friends’.

文章思路很清楚，也挺有说服力的。
建议尝试一下更简练的写法。我改的几个地方基本都是把长句改短。加油^^

rebeccavenUID：2140456

１．　1981的不少句子虽然没语法错误，总觉得有点怪．　我很赞同双手的那个修改：solving methods- solutions.
"various things which they are confronted with in their daily life"不知道能否改为various confrontation/ problems in their daily life. 也可能我改的也不好，但是，　我觉得这个短语其实一定有更好的词可以替代．

２．　　asking older friends of them －their older friends

３．　 or get （ＴＩＮＧ）advice from friends who （ＡＲＥ）as the same age as them

４．　when I was a student of a college－When I was a college student

５．　I registered numerous courses which I was not acquaint with so that only older friends could help me but （ＢＵＴ可能不对，　换成rather than会通顺点）　friends at the same grade with me because higher grade friends had learnt （about 可以删除）them yet.

６．　According to my truly （true) experience

７．　．．．and how could I acquire a good score in those course.－由于是从句，　所以不倒装，
　　　　　　and how I could acquire a good score in ....

８．　If I have some difficulties to cope with problem in my family or social life, Older小写 friends frequently can supply amazing solutions to them result(ing) from their extensive and deeply (deep) 其实我觉得ＤＥＥＰ这个词用的不大贴切experience.

９．　Take my study （career 删除）for example;　为什么用分号？不会是ＷＯＲＤＳ的杰作吧？:)

１０．whether to step into society and find （ＡＮ）appropriate job （删除for me ）or （ＴＯ）learn （a more year－ＯＮＥ　ＭＯＲＥ　ＹＥＡＲ） at school （than other students and删除）（in order to ) try that test again

１１．　broaden my thinking angle －change my thinking angle/ broaden my eyesight

１２．　I believe older friends' suggestions(are) more valuable than peer friends’

１３．　although peer friends can broaden my thinking angle and can supply some advice which I could think about, I need add my own opinions to them. 　即使是年长朋友的意见，你也是需要加如自己意见的．:)

rebeccavenUID：2140456

发现我的很多修改和双手的温柔改的很类似啊～～～呵呵