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[活动] IMPULSE小组-19811010316-第三周主题-个人成功-Thursday [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-8-10 19:30:04 |显示全部楼层
Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize.(周四作业,如果写过可以写其它机井。)

We are so proud of living in such a society that is full of challenges, such as complex social events and social relationships. However, the abilities of planning and organizing become more and more important to young people's development and achievement. So I strong agree with that youngsters should possess powerful capacity of planning their current and future as well as organizing their daily events about both living and working.

To start up, to get accustomed to the developmental complex society, young people are supposed to be able to lay out a good plan for their future developments. The competition at present in our society is so fierce that young people should have clear cognition about their developmental routines if they want to be more successful than peers. For example, just a few years ago, there were only a minority of students who entered into university and accepted high education, so almost every graduate could acquire a decent job after his or her graduation. On the contrary, during these years, our government has executed a revolution that has been supplying more young people with opportunities of studying in universities than ever before. Thus our educational regulation becomes more complex than before. Eventually, many graduates couldn't hunter jobs not to mention great ones. On the basis of this change, young people clearly need to have excellent abilities in planning before going to universities.

In the second place, young people are expected to be capable of organizing their living well. With the fast advancement of society, even the environment which young people live in get complicated than a few years ago. For instance, there are many young people do not work hard in studying any more, in contrast, they frequently gather together and bully diligent ones. If these young people could be sensible to regulate their behaviors, it is undeniable that they will make great progress in studying and become understanding how to respect others. Moreover, some young people's families are wealthy because their parents spend much time on accumulating money. Due to their parents' time is limited, they could not be educated how to take care of themselves and accommodate society. However, if they could arrange their livings prominently, it is clear that they would be more active when encountering with difficulties.

Last but not least, without effective capabilities in organizing their working, scarcely could young people finish their working tasks, not to mention achieve huge accomplishments. If young people couldn't organize their assignments efficiently, there is not doubt that they will not qualify their work because organizing is so essential to good employees. As to a common worker, he or she should first analyze his or her tasks, then take apart them, finally organize different parts in a whole skeleton and complete them one by one. So combining all parts of a task together is a vital step in finishing a task successfully. When it comes to a leader, organizing abilities become even more crucial. A leader not only need to manage his or her subordinates but also should control the proceeding of all events. Hence, only by commanding the abilities of organizing, young people could be more competent in their work and careers.

To sum up, I really believe that neither planning ability nor organizing power should be neglected in young people's education in order to improving the possibility of their adaption to increasingly complex society.  Even though society has been changing dramatically, young people still will be fruitful when being equipped with two mighty weapons: planning and organizing.

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发表于 2008-8-11 08:48:31 |显示全部楼层
We are so proud of living in such a society that is full of challenges, such as complex social events and social relationships. However, the abilities of planning and organizing become more and more important to young people's development and achievement. So I strong agree with that youngsters should possess powerful capacity of planning their current and future as well as organizing their daily events about both living and working.
To start up, to get accustomed to the developmental complex society, young people are supposed to be able to lay out a good plan for their future developments. The competition at present in our society is so fierce that young people should have clear cognition about their developmental routines if they want to be more successful than peers. For example, just a few years ago, there were only a minority of students who entered into university and accepted high education, so almost every graduate could acquire a decent job after his or her graduation. On the contrary, during these years, our government has executed a revolution that has been supplying more young people with opportunities of studying in universities than ever before. Thus our educational regulation becomes more complex than before. Eventually, many graduates couldn't hunter jobs not to mention great ones. On the basis of this change, young people clearly need to have excellent abilities in planning before going to universities.
[感觉例子没有很好地反映出主题,何不通过对比前后教育的差距,然后说如果毕业生想找到好工作需要plan-多学习些其他技能增加自己的竞争力]


In the second place, young people are expected to be capable of organizing their living well. With the fast advancement of society, even the environment which[in which] young people live in get complicated than a few years ago. For instance, there are many young people do not work hard in studying any more, in contrast, they frequently gather together and bully diligent ones. If these young people could be sensible to regulate their behaviors, it is undeniable that they will make great progress in studying and become understanding how to respect others. Moreover, some young people's families are wealthy because their parents spend much time on accumulating money. Due to their parents' time is limited, they could not be educated how to take care of themselves and accommodate society. However, if they could arrange their livings prominently, it is clear that they would be more active when encountering with difficulties.

Last but not least, without effective capabilities in organizing their working, scarcely could young people finish their working tasks, not to mention achieve huge accomplishments. If young people couldn't organize their assignments efficiently, there is not doubt that they will not qualify their work because organizing is so essential to good employees. As to a common worker, he or she should first analyze his or her tasks, then take apart them, finally organize different parts in a whole skeleton and complete them one by one. So combining all parts of a task together is a vital step in finishing a task successfully. When it comes to a leader, organizing abilities become even more crucial. A leader not only need to manage his or her subordinates but also should control the proceeding of all events. Hence, only by commanding the abilities of organizing, young people could be more competent in their work and careers.

To sum up, I really believe that neither planning ability nor organizing power should be neglected in young people's education in order to improving the possibility of their adaption to increasingly complex society.  Even though society has been changing dramatically, young people still will be fruitful when being equipped with two mighty weapons: planning and organizing.
表扬的话就不多说了,全文流畅,用词考究.
第二段论证的中心不确切.还是要再组织一下.请问想要表达个什么中心呢?
有个问题要请教一下: Modern society has become more complex 这个出现在题干中,要不要在写作中考虑,应如何对待呢? plan and organize 是一个意思吧?指组织能力.
水平有限,望海涵-ktury

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发表于 2008-8-11 10:23:50 |显示全部楼层
19811010316 (superb)

We are so proud of living in such a society that is full of challenges, such as complex social events and social relationships. However, the abilities of planning and organizing become more and more important to young people's development and achievement. So I strong [strongly?] agree with that youngsters should possess powerful capacity of planning their current and future as well as organizing their daily events [daily work ,event这个词一般用来形容重大的事件:)] about both living and working.

To start up, to get accustomed to the developmental complex society, young people are supposed to be able to lay out [make] a good plan for their future developments. The competition at present in our society is so fierce that young people should have clear cognition about their developmental routines [development plan/ blueprint/scope] if they want to be more successful than peers. For example, just a few years ago, there were only a minority of students who entered into university and accepted high education, so almost every graduate could acquire a decent job after his or her graduation[直接after graduation] . On the contrary, during these years, our government has executed a revolution that has been supplying more young people with opportunities of studying in universities than ever before. Thus our educational regulation becomes more complex than before. Eventually, many graduates couldn't hunter jobs not to mention great ones. [Thus, the gauge of education background is enhanced which eventually caused the increasing challenges for the graduates to find a job - not to mention an ideal one. ] On the basis of this change, young people clearly need to have excellent abilities in planning before going to universities. [In such circumstances, those without good plan during their university could be less competitive due to a lower effective time-use on their campus, while others arm themselves by well plan their study and campaigns participation to gain strong competence toward their goals. ]

In the second place, young people are expected to be capable of organizing their living well. With the fast advancement of society, even the environment which young people live in get complicated than a few years ago. For instance, there are many young people do not work hard in studying any more, in contrast, they frequently gather together and bully diligent ones. If these young people could be sensible to regulate their behaviors, it is undeniable that they will make great progress in studying and become understanding how to respect others. Moreover, some young people's families are wealthy because their parents spend much time on accumulating money. Due to their parents' time is limited, they could not be educated how to take care of themselves and accommodate society. However, if they could arrange their livings prominently, it is clear that they would be more active when encountering with difficulties. [这一段需要斟酌下,感觉论点有点偏]

Last but not least, without effective capabilities in organizing their working, scarcely could young people finish their working[去掉working] tasks, not to mention achieve huge accomplishments. If young people couldn't organize their assignments efficiently, there is not doubt that they will not qualify their work because organizing is so essential to [for] good employees. As to a common worker, he or she should first analyze his or her tasks, then take apart them, finally organize different parts in a whole skeleton and complete them one by one. So combining all parts of a task together is a vital step in finishing a task successfully. When it comes to a leader, organizing abilities become even more crucial. A leader not only need to manage his or her subordinates but also should control the proceeding of all events. Hence, only by commanding the abilities of organizing, young people could be more competent in their work and careers.

To sum up, I really believe that neither planning ability nor organizing power should be neglected in young people's education in order to improving the possibility of their adaption to increasingly complex society.  Even though society has been changing dramatically, young people still will be fruitful when being equipped with two mighty weapons: planning and organizing.

很顺,1,3观点都不错,2要再考虑下。
我最近很有惰性,需要振作起来了:)
工作考T党。。。

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发表于 2008-8-11 20:17:19 |显示全部楼层
原帖由 ktury 于 2008-8-11 08:48 发表
We are so proud of living in such a society that is full of challenges, such as complex social events and social relationships. However, the abilities of planning and organizing become more and m ...


plan, to form a plan of, 侧重, one should have a strategy to do something.

organize, 1.to develop a organize structure; 2.to form into a complete and functioning whole; 3.to set up an administrative structure for; 4.to arrange by systematic planning and united effort.侧重于, 2与3.4的三个意思。我认为。我认为都可以。

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RE: IMPULSE小组-19811010316-第三周主题-个人成功-Thursday [修改]

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