【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】bjleo 12月8日作业

bjleoUID: 2480273

My granderfather is eighty five years old. When he was childern, the new people's republic of China has not bee founded. The lives of Chinese people are really hard at that time, especially for the lower classes, such as worker, peasents and technicans. As matter of fact, it is no doubt that the life nowadays is easier and more comfortable today than the day when my grandparents were children. I would like to reason and provide concrete evidences to support my viewpoint.

   The first and the fore most reason is that we live in a peaceful and independent counties nowadays. However, about seventy years ago, China is in the terrible war with Japanese. My gradparents have ever told me that war is the most terrible thing in this world. Chinese people suffer so deeply from that terrible war, although they win it finally. Nowadays, however, new China has been established for about fifty years.  After hard working lead by Chinese government, Chinese people live happy and peaceful lives today. Thus, we have reasons to believe that the life in such a peaceful society is easier and comfortable than the lives uder war sever decades ago.

   Secondly, after opened the door in 1978, the fast development of Chinese economy has surprised all the world. Some famous economists even predict that China will be the ecnomy center of the world in the not so far future. As a result, Chinese people have lived a wealthy lives than several decades ago. For example, when my grandfather is a child, he has no money to go to school, buy new clothes and sometime even has no food to eat. However, most children in China today can enter school to receive proper education. They can also buy needed clothes and foods. My gradfather always tell us that the current youg childen are living in a so wonderful society that they should study hard to let the country become stronger and stronger.
It is fact that China develops so fast recently years. Even if compared with sever years ago, our lives today have changed completely, let alone sever decades ago. There are more private cars, more kinds of  goods in super market, more high buildings and more advanded public transport system. China also hosts a wonderful and amazing Olympic Games that has received the praise from people all of the world. From these facts, we can easily find that the life today is easier and comfortable than the days when my granderparents were children.

  To sum up, based on the above mentioned facts which correlate with each other to form an organic whole, we can safely to find that the lives today are really better than sever decade agon in China.

transformersUID: 2307599

My grander father is eighty five years old. When he was children (a child), the new people's republic of China has not been founded. The lives of Chinese people are really hard at that time, especially for the lower classes, such as worker, peasants(不错) and technicians. As matter of fact, it is no doubt that the life nowadays is easier and more comfortable today than the day when my grandparents were children（youth）. I would like to reason and provide concrete evidences to support my viewpoint
The first and the fore most reason is that we live in a peaceful and independent county nowadays. However, about seventy years ago, China is in the terrible war with Japanese. My grandparents have ever told me that war is the most terrible thing in this world. Chinese people suffer so deeply from that terrible war, although they win it finally. Nowadays, however, new China has been established for about fifty years.  After hard working lead by Chinese government, Chinese people live happy and peaceful lives today. Thus, we have reasons to believe that the life in such a peaceful society is easier and comfortable than the lives under war several decades ago.（抗战）

Secondly, after opened the door in 1978, the fast development of Chinese economy has surprised all (over)the world. Some famous economists even predict that China will be the economy center (one of the economy centers 太绝对了)of the world in the not so far future. As a result, Chinese people have lived a wealthy life than several decades ago. For example, when my grandfather is a child, he has no money to go to school, to buy new clothes and sometime even has no food to eat. However, most children in China today can enter school to receive proper education. They can also buy needed clothes and foods. My grandfather always tells us that the current youg childen are living in a so wonderful society that they should study harder to let the country become stronger and stronger.（经济）
It is fact that China develops so fast recently years. Even if compared with sever（several） years ago, our lives today have changed completely, let alone sever decades ago（看不懂这句）. There are more private cars, more kinds of goods in super market, more high buildings and more advanced public transport system. China also hosts a wonderful and amazing Olympic Games that has received the praise from people the entire world（就用all over the world 吧）. From these facts, we can easily find that the life today is easier and comfortable than the days when my grander parents were children.（教育）
To sum up, based on the above mentioned facts which correlate with each other to form an organic whole, we can safely to find that the lives today are really better than several decade ago in China.
总结 很有意思的一篇文章～lz是高中生吧～我一个老师给我看过一个29的文章～就是高中写的就是这样～ 但是个人认为～～我还是很不适应这样的文体（被八股惯了呵呵）～～三段论还不错 逻辑也不错 语言很平时（有意思的就是lz语言看着很可爱）以后写完用word查一遍～不过赞叹lz没纠错就只有这么点拼写错误～
最大的缺点是您全篇都说中国～这是给鬼子看的～亏了您写抗日～您要抗美我就疯了～

xiaojing1115UID: 2578357

My granderfather is eighty five years old. When he was childern, the new people's republic of China has(had) not bee founded. The lives of Chinese people are really hard at that time, especially for the lower classes, such as worker, peasents and technicans. As matter of fact, it is no doubt that the life nowadays is easier and more comfortable today than the day when my grandparents were children. I would like to reason and provide concrete evidences to support my viewpoint.
开头挺好的，第一句话何以省略，显得太小家子气。

The first and the fore most reason is that we live in a peaceful and independent counties nowadays. However, about seventy years ago, China is in the terrible war with Japanese. My gradparents have ever told me that war is the most terrible thing in this world. Chinese people suffer so deeply from that terrible war, although they win it finally. Nowadays, however（yet，不要重复使用however）, new China has been established for about fifty years.  After hard working lead by Chinese government, Chinese people live happy and peaceful lives today. Thus, we have reasons to believe that the life in such a peaceful society is easier and comfortable than the lives uder war sever decades ago.
论据很好

  Secondly, after opened the door in 1978, the fast development of Chinese economy has surprised all the world. Some famous economists even predict that China will be the ecnomy center of the world in the not so far future. As a result, Chinese people have lived a wealthy lives than several decades ago. For example, when my grandfather is a child, he has no money to go to school, buy new clothes and sometime（and someing 可以删了，显得多余） even has no food to eat. However, most children in China today can enter school to receive proper education. They can also buy needed clothes and foods. My gradfather always tell us that the current youg childen are living in a so wonderful society that they should study hard to let the country become stronger and stronger

It is fact that China develops so fast recently years. Even if compared with sever（several） years ago, our lives today have changed completely, let alone sever decades ago. There are more private cars, more kinds of  goods in super market, more high buildings and more advanded public transport system. China also hosts a wonderful and amazing Olympic Games that has received the praise from people all of the world. From these facts, we can easily find that the life today is easier and comfortable than the days when my granderparents were children.

  To sum up, based on the above mentioned facts which correlate with each other to form an organic whole, we can safely to find that the lives today are really better than sever decade agon in China.

语言还需要再润色，可以多用些句型

bjleoUID: 2480273

谢谢二位
BTW: 不是高中生...
只是觉得这个题目实在有点特殊 其实无论什么题目还是要尽量写的有点深度 在没有语言错误的基础上尽量追求语言多变 但是个人认为ETS仿佛喜欢这种类似记叙文的文章 而不喜欢纯粹的议论文

transformersUID: 2307599

原帖由 bjleo 于 2008-12-9 01:05 发表
谢谢二位
BTW: 不是高中生...
只是觉得这个题目实在有点特殊 其实无论什么题目还是要尽量写的有点深度 在没有语言错误的基础上尽量追求语言多变 但是个人认为ETS仿佛喜欢这种类似记叙文的文章 而不喜欢纯粹的 ...

是的～～我看过一个29的文章就是那种我看着就写不出来的～但是又都看的懂的文章～
但是个人认为至少别写成记叙文～lz那文章也不是记叙文～不过挺好的～～