argument 147虽然不能加入kito9596站队我还是写了，望大家多多指教

jingjingtousUID：2164820

ARGUMENT 147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."   WORDS：578  
  In this editorial, the author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind's video games will increase dramatically in the next few months by introducting lifelike video game. To support this conclusion, the author points out that they have advertising campaign directed at 10 to 25 year old people. The author also cites a recent survey that suggested player of lifelike graghic games. Close scrutiny of this evidence reveals that it lends little supports to the argument.

A threshold problem with the argument involves the recent survey cited by the author to suppot that the sales of Whirlwind video game wil be reversed. However, the author provides no evidence that the survey 's sample is sufficiently significant and representative of the overall population of consumers who play Whirlwind's video game. Laking such evidence as the randomness an the size of the survey's sample the author cannot convince me by adopting the players' suggestion, Whirlwindcould improve the sales of its video games.

Even if the subjected players' suggestion could representative of the shortage of Whirlwind's video game, the author's relicance on the result of the survey that lifelike video game can attract more video game consumers and persuade them to buy Whirlwind's products is still unwarranted in two respects. First, playing such a highly emulational game requires the most up-to-date computers, which limits the number of its consumers. It is entirely possible thta they donot have such a superior computer or even some of them, at least, are unwilling to spend more money on upgrading their computers to meet the requirements of such a video game.

Another problem with the argument involve Whirlwind's advertising camplaign directed at groups of aged 10 to 25. The author assumes that the introduction of lifelike video game will, as a result, promote the sales of such games amony Whirlwind's consumers. Yet, this might not be the case, unless the author can provide clear evidence that this group of people are statistically representative fo the consumers of such video games in general i cannot accept the author's assertion that the advertising campaign directed at them would no doubt increase the sales of these video games.

Finally, the author's conclusion merely based on the suvey and Whirlwind's advertising camplaign is statistically unconvincing in two respects that 1) the author fails to account for other factors that might certainly lead to the decline of Whirlwind's video games, for instance, the inlation of such video game at nationwide, or the author overlooks many of other possible factors which contribues to Whirlwind's video games, such as the charater design, background music, detailed story line and so on. Without considering and ruling out such possible factors that might affect the sales of video game, the author cannot persuade me that Whirlwind's sale will be improved---let alone they can be profitable from these games.

In sum, this argument is unconvincing in several critical respects as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must provide calear evidence that Whirlwind's game players have so advanced comprters that meet the requirement of playing such a high emulational game, and that the group of people aged at 10 to 25 is sufficient representative of Whirlwind's consumers in general and the advertising camplaign will certainly be sucessul. To better assess the argument i would need to know that the improvement of graphic of the game would, of course, ensurethe improvement of the overalll quality of it without considering other factor. i would also need to compare the price of such game to that of Whirlwind's competitor' to determine that it will surely be profitable after being on the market
因为时间不够，所以最后一句话没写，是补上去的。请大家多多指教。

lenaUID：2156561

赞!

kito9695UID：209685

下周1就把你编进去！这次我帮你拍~先占

kito9695UID：209685

In this editorial, the author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind's video games will increase dramatically in the next few months by introductingintroducing lifelike video game. To support this conclusion, the author points out that they have advertising campaign directed at 10 to 25 year old people. The author also cites a recent surveycite a survey感觉怪怪的that suggested player of lifelike graghicgraphic games表达不对. Close scrutinyA close scrutiny of this evidence reveals that it lends little supports to the argument.

A threshold problem with the argument involves the recent survey cited by the author to suppotsupport that the sales of Whirlwind video game wilwill be reversed. However, the author provides no evidence that the survey 's sample is sufficiently significant直接用sufficient吧? and representative of the overall population of consumers who play Whirlwind's video game. LakingLacking such evidence as the randomness an the size of the survey's sample怪怪的, the author cannot convince me by adopting the players' suggestion, Whirlwind could improve the sales of its video games不太明白最后这个分句和前面是什么关系，没有连词.

Even if the subjected players' suggestioncould representative of the shortage of Whirlwind's video game不明白，players' suggestion指的是什么？, the author's relicancereliance on the result of the survey that lifelike video game can attract more video game consumers and persuade them to buy Whirlwind's products is still unwarranted in two respects这句提取主干是the author’s reliance is unwarranted，错了吧?. First, playing such a highly emulational game requires the most up-to-date computers, which limits the number of its consumers. It is entirely possible that they do not have such a superior computer or even some of them, at least, are unwilling to spend more money on upgrading their computers to meet the requirements of such a video game.

Another problem with the argument involveinvolves Whirlwind's advertising camplaigncampaign directed at groups of aged 10 to 25. The author assumes that the introduction of lifelike video game will, as a result, promote the sales of such games amonyamong Whirlwind's consumers. Yet, this might not be the case, unless the author can provide clear evidence that this group of people are statistically representative for the consumers of such video games in general. I cannot accept这种表述有些太主观了the author's assertion that the advertising campaign directed at them would no doubt increase the sales of these video games.

Finally, the author's conclusion merely based on the suveysurvey and Whirlwind's advertising camplaigncampaign is statistically unconvincing in two respects that 1)怎么出来这种符号?the author fails to account for other factors that might certainly lead to the decline of Whirlwind's video games, for instance, the inlationinflation of such video game at nationwide, or the author overlooks many of other possible factors which contributes to Whirlwind's video games, such as the charatercharacter design, background music, detailed story line and so on. Without considering and ruling out such possible factors that might affect the sales of video game, the author cannot persuade me感觉用us好一些 that Whirlwind's sale will be improved---let alone they can be profitable from these games题目中没有提到profit.

In sum, this argument is unconvincing in several critical respects as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must provide calearclear evidence that Whirlwind's game players have so advanced comprterscomputers that meet the requirement of playing such a high emulational game, and that the group of people aged at 10 to 25 is sufficientsufficiently representative of Whirlwind's consumers in general and the advertising camplaigncampaign will certainly be sucessulsucessful. To better assess the argument I would need to know是the arguer吧？ that the improvement of graphic of the game would, of course, ensure the improvement of the overall quality of it without considering other factors. I would also? need to compare the price of such game to that of Whirlwind's competitor' to determine that it will surely be profitable after being on the market.

说些不成熟的建议：单词错误太多，应当尽量避免，可以直接放在word里自动纠错；字数很多，值得表扬，很多人都写不够字数；
最后提醒：格式不太正确，没有提纲，去看看别人的帖子吧

jingjingtousUID：2164820

147。The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
提纲：
1 新调查中的样本是否足够大，是否能代表所有Whirlwind游戏的消费者
2 即使那些被调查的players的建议能说明W游戏的不足之处，也不能保证会有更多玩家来买，游戏对电脑的要求限制了玩家的数量。
3 W所作的广告推广运动针对的群体不具代表性。
4 作者忽略了其它导致销售下降的原因如全国游戏产品的inflation，以及其它影响游戏质量的因素如背景音乐，故事情节等

In this editorial, the author concludes that the sales of Whirlwind's video games will increase dramatically in the next few months by introducing lifelike video game. To support this conclusion, the author points out that they have advertising campaign directed at 10 to 25 year old people. The author also cites a survey that suggested players prefer lifelike graphic games. A close scrutiny of this evidence reveals that it lends little supports to the argument.

A threshold problem with the argument involves the recent survey cited by the author to support that the sales of Whirlwind video game will be reversed. However, the author provides no evidence that the survey 's sample is significant and representative of the overall population of consumers who play Whirlwind's video game. Lacking information about the randomness and size of the survey's sample, the author cannot convince me that by adopting the players' suggestion Whirlwind could improve the sales of its video games.

Even if the subjected players' suggestion could representative of the shortage of Whirlwind's video game, the author's assertion on the result of the survey that lifelike video game can attract more video game consumers and persuade them to buy Whirlwind's products is still unwarranted. Playing such a highly emulational game requires the most up-to-date computers, which limits the number of its consumers. It is entirely possible that they do not have such a superior computer or even some of them, at least, are unwilling to spend more money on upgrading their computers to meet the requirements of such a video game.

Another problem with the argument involves Whirlwind's advertising campaign directed at groups of aged 10 to 25. The author assumes that the introduction of lifelike video game will, as a result, promote the sales of such games among Whirlwind's consumers. Yet, this might not be the case, unless the author can provide clear evidence that this group of people are statistically representative for the consumers of such video games in general. I cannot accept the author's assertion that the advertising campaign directed at them would no doubt increase the sales of these video games.

Finally, the author's conclusion merely based on the survey and Whirlwind's advertising campaign is statistically unconvincing in two respects that (1) the author fails to account for other factors that might certainly lead to the decline of Whirlwind's video games, for instance, the inflation of such video game at nationwide. (2) the author overlooks many of other possible factors which contributes to Whirlwind's video games, such as the character design, background music, detailed story line and so on. Without considering and ruling out such possible factors that might affect the sales of video game, the author cannot persuade us that Whirlwind's sale will be improved

In sum, this argument is unconvincing in several critical respects as it stands. To strengthen it, the author must provide clear evidence that Whirlwind's game players have so advanced computers that meet the requirement of playing such a high emulational game, and that the group of people aged at 10 to 25 is sufficiently representative of Whirlwind's consumers in general and the advertising campaign will certainly be sucessful. To better assess the argument, I would need to know that the improvement of graphic of the game would, of course, ensure the improvement of the overall quality of it without considering other factors. I would also need to compare the price of such game to that of Whirlwind's competitor' to determine that it will surely be profitable after being on the market.

第一次来这里发贴，没什么经验，望大家多多指教！
感谢kito的拍砖！！！我一定加倍努力！！！

@amy@UID：209096

呵呵，赞~~  是不是我们可以编3个小组了

bunnymz2005UID：2146758

大家好，我是2月24号考试，很想加入小组，可以给我个机会么？
我想跟大家一起努力，可以么？
期待着你们的回复，谢谢^-^

kito9695UID：209685

Originally posted by bunnymz2005 at 2005-12-15 12:08
大家好，我是2月24号考试，很想加入小组，可以给我个机会么？
我想跟大家一起努力，可以么？
期待着你们的回复，谢谢^-^

jingjingtous (jingjing) 和小花等两位组长协商后，今晚编入小组吧

jingjingtousUID：2164820

Originally posted by kito9695 at 2005-12-15 12:49


jingjingtous (jingjing) 和小花等两位组长协商后，今晚编入小组吧

可是我还没有进去呀？期待中>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

kito9695UID：209685

表急~正在整理总结，之后就编

kito9695UID：209685

编进去了~