Issue208 【黄金十二宫】认真写作，虔诚求拍

永远的圣者UID: 2182901

208"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."

Paleontologists find ancient animals from fossils, physicists solve the theorem from the clue of the real world. People want to find out others' thoughts and interests just from their look, dress, and act, and even inspect the operation of the society consists of people, however, they fail. The complexity of people embarrasses us to make the goal.

To look at the real world, we can hardly know others' real expectation. The politician is a typical example. We can still remember a senator makes a promise to insure to get a higher position and fails to operate it, or two countries agree on the negotiation and break down the next day. We have been a kind of compromise to such phenomena since we think it is strategy to cheat others and make the liar's initiate purpose. However, it is apt to relate with mistrust and crime that incidents, deviate from what they seem, appear in every corner of the real daily life. An officer may have a promising appearance, well-dressed, and claim that he will try his best to make people richer, but is caught because of corruption and appropriation of public money. So do entrepreneur cheat workers, do dean mislead students. They wear masks to cover their idea, win credit of others, make stronger with any method, and achieve their final success. In this situation, how can it be possible for us to reveal their attitudes and interests only from their look, dress, or act?

It is true that we may sometimes know thought of those we are familiar with. This understanding comes from that we have many chances to contact with these people, trust them as they trust us, and can open our hearts to chart, to penetrate in others' souls. It is really warm that my friend can come and ask me whether I am in a bad mood, just from my eccentric action. Possibility may even appear that we know others interest and thought by our experience, for example, we may know a speaker is nervous from the red face and faltering speaking. Nevertheless, more evidence concludes that this cognizance only goes with lily-white sensation and simple circumstance. Hamlet would never know Claudius is the killer of his father unless his father's soul shows its presence and tells him the truth. He would never confirm the murderer is Claudius unless the king hastily rises and goes away. In daily life, we often tell some white lies to leave a party, shift off an obligation, or avoid displeasing others. The vicious conceal their interests in order to escape from punishment, while the virtuous pocket their attitudes in order to turn away from injury.

When we turn to the society to find its ideas and values, we might find it even harder since it is composed by many complicated individuals. We pick up either country such us USA, Russia, or China, can we surely say which one is more democratic or more respect the culture from the behavior or response of citizens in each country.

General speaking, we try hard and want to find out the something real about ourselves and the society that we combined, however, we run into a black wall no matter how hard we try.

我爱双鱼UID: 2196971

文章很有气势，也有想法。但是我有几点自己的看法，你看怎么样？

1. Body 段首句概括性不强，在B1还牵涉到了expectation，有点走题。
2.毕竟issue是学术性的文章，作者的立场要尽量显得客观，出现太多we we we，感觉有点像吵架:p
3.基本的语法错误自己应该可以发现，比如generally speaking, 而不是general speaking.
4.虽然可能阁下不愿意用模板，但我还是建议用通俗的增强逻辑感的格式，这样分数会更好。

很有才华，加油！

永远的圣者UID: 2182901

首先谢谢双鱼啦～
expectation肯定是用随意了，换成表示想法之类的词；同时，也想把题目的第一句话更多的融入这一段的主题句中，但是现在发觉不会写了，能否再帮忙指点下？
重读一遍发现自己we用的太多了，改的时候也没有看出来，以后会注意，语法也会注意
至于模版，实际上是找不到什么关于I的模版，不知道那里会有这些
呵呵，相当迷茫啊

我爱双鱼UID: 2196971

具体怎么改还是有赖自己的，我们也只是给出建议而已阿。
模板什么的，参考北美gre范文的写法，大致摸索下就能找到套路的。
加油加油！
在有时间限制的情形下能写成这样已经很显功力了，比我厉害多了:)

bhnUID: 2177959

208"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."

Paleontologists find ancient animals from fossils,{；} physicists solve the theorem from the clue of the real world. People want to find out others' thoughts and interests just from their look, dress, and act, and even inspect the operation {这个词怎么会用在这里?}of the society consists of people, however, they fail. The complexity of people embarrasses us to make the goal.

To look at the real world, we can hardly know others' real expectation. The politician is a typical example. We can still remember a senator makes a promise to insure to get a higher position and fails to operate it{看不懂这句，operate用的好像也不太对}, or two countries agree on the negotiation and break down the next day{举例论证最好是有名有姓的例子，实在没办法了再这样凭空想象几个例子}. We have been a kind of compromise{不懂} to such phenomena since we think it is strategy{冠词} to cheat others and make the liar's initiate purpose. However, it is apt to relate with mistrust and crime that incidents, deviate from what they seem, appear in every corner of the real daily life. An officer may have a promising appearance, well-dressed, and claim that he will try his best to make people richer, but is caught because of corruption and appropriation of public money. So do entrepreneur cheat workers, do dean mislead students. They wear masks to cover their idea, win credit of others, make stronger with any method, and achieve their final success. In this situation, how can it be possible for us to reveal their attitudes and interests only from their look, dress, or act?
没有举出有说服力的例子,最好找几个有名有姓的例子。

It is true that we may sometimes know thought of those we are familiar with. This understanding comes from that we have many chances to contact with these people, trust them as they trust us, and can open our hearts to chart, to penetrate in others' souls. It is really warm that my friend can come and ask me whether I am in a bad mood, just from my eccentric action. Possibility may even appear that we know others interest and thought by our experience, for example, we may know a speaker is nervous{  nervous不是interest and thought，这个例子不合适} from the red face and faltering speaking. Nevertheless, more evidence concludes that this cognizance only goes with lily-white sensation and simple circumstance. Hamlet would never know Claudius is the killer of his father unless his father's soul shows its presence and tells him the truth. He would never confirm the murderer is Claudius unless the king hastily rises and goes away. In daily life, we often tell some white lies to leave a party, shift off an obligation, or avoid displeasing others. The vicious conceal their interests in order to escape from punishment, while the virtuous pocket their attitudes in order to turn away from injury.

When we turn to the society to find its ideas and values, we might find it even harder since it is composed by many complicated individuals. We pick up either country such us USA, Russia, or China, can we surely say which one is more democratic or more respect the culture from the behavior or response of citizens in each country.
关于社会价值的论述太少，只有一个观点，没有任何证据支持和分析。

General speaking, we try hard and want to find out the{去掉} something real about ourselves and the society that we combined, however, we run into a black wall no matter how hard we try.

微末三月UID: 205072

论点很有深度,但是没有很好的被例证.全是说理,似乎比较空洞,还是举些实例比较好
基本上,我和流浪的意见差不多,就不多说了哈

加油~

永远的圣者UID: 2182901

实例，实例……
好像回到了高考
现在基本上即使是知道有什么实例，也是不会用英语表述出来
进一步努力中……自己给自己加个油