issue83 51互助小组第 by ruczephyr

ruczephyrUID: 2181202

题目：ISSUE83 - "Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."
字数：763         用时：1：00：00         日期：2007-7-5 17:20:39

Alone with the development of the most prosperous part of the country, there is an growing attention to realize the significance of the remote areas which is beyond the reach of the majority of people. So whether the government should allocate budget to preserve such wilder areas has been a increasingly debating question. As far as I am concerned, the government and the society should place enough attention and make affect to protect such wild areas for their potential use and importance to the benefit the society.

To begin with, the remote lands, as part of the domain of a country, should be protected to maintain the integrity of the domain and to declare ownership of the very land. Suppose, without proper protection, if the remote part of domain can be haphazardly occupied by other countries, this means publicly invasion to certain extent, which seriously destory the sovereignty of the country. And this could best illustrate why countries keep on debating or even fighting for domain confliction. So, naturally, to protect its integrity, the government of a country should do their best to preserve all parts of their domain, no matter whether the land are in prosperity or remote.

What is more, those lands far from the reach of majority of people might have higher storage of natural resources, and as a result, the government has the duty to preserve such lands for future benefit, though there is no present plan to explore the resources. Additionally, though the natural resource could not be detected immediately, the government should also preserve the remote land for its potential discovery of certain kind of resource. Consider, for instance, the Xinjiang Province is the most remote areas among provinces in China, and the number of people per square kilometer is much lower than the average number of China. However, every year there are many discoveries of oil fields, which have significant storage of oil. As a result, the government of China places enough attention and allocates extra fund to preserve this land and to  promote the development of Xinjiang Province.  

Obviously, the wilderness of the remote areas, to much extant, can best record the development of the earth and natural evolution, thus they have great significance for scientific researches and studies.  Just only as these lands can survive without the influence of human, can the natural state be completely preserved, which is the mirror to reflect natural history of species evolving.  And on the basis of such best preserve of natural state, which might be even prehistory,  the natural scientists would make their achievement in decoding the way that the earth changes its appearance. An best illustrating example involves that in the Shennongjia national park in China, great amounts  of rare trees and animals are preserved, and they still conform to their ancient living habits. So, the government adopted great affect to keep the area as a national park for not only personal tour but also scientific researches.

My last evidence might lie in that many remote lands, which once had their own prosperity and got otherwise ruined in certain historical events, also have special meaning for tracing history. A case in point is that the remains of Pompeii, an ancient city located in the Campania district of Italy. The very city was ever one of the most developed one  at about one century B.C, while unfortunately the flourish appearance of the city became nothing but ruins for the sake of an extraordinary big volcanic eruption. Until the dig-out at mid eighteen century did the ruins show their appearance to the world. However, though buried by volcanic eruption, the Pompeii City can still embody the daily life styles of the ancient people and present art achievement at that time, which offers historians material to study the history of ancient Rome. Just as one of the greatest poet Goethe once said, and I paraphrase: among numerous calamities, there is none like Pompeii which brings the afterworld great pleasure.

Though, there might raise some argument against my point that the preserve and  protection does require great amount of funds which might beyond the affordance of the country, however, I should repute that it is true that the government of a country should allocate proper budget according to their capacity of affordance, but such concession does not equal to no activities and protection upon the wilderness areas or remote land. What the government should do turns out to be legislation to avoid destroys from people and make proper affect to make rational use of the remote area according to the special features.

ruczephyrUID: 2181202

再次懒的写结尾了

coalaxixiUID: 2353397

Alone with the development of the most prosperous part of the country, there is an growing attention to realize the significance of the remote areas which is beyond the reach of the majority of people. So whether the government should allocate budget to preserve such wilder areas has been a increasingly debating question. As far as I am concerned, the government and the society should place enough attention and make affect to protect such wild areas for their potential use and importance to the benefit the society. To begin with, the remote lands, as part of the domain of a country, should be protected to maintain the integrity of the domain and to declare ownership of the very land. Suppose, without proper protection, if the remote part of domain can be haphazardly occupied by other countries, this means publicly invasion to certain extent, which seriously destory the sovereignty of the country. And this could best illustrate why countries keep on debating or even fighting for domain confliction.(这一句接在这里感觉不太自然，觉得是用来凑字数的，删掉更好) So, naturally, to protect its integrity, the government of a country should do their best to preserve all parts of their domain, no matter whether the land are in prosperity or remote.（其实就一个意思，要保持国家领土的完整，用这么多句话凑成一段感觉有点空。可以说说由于保护不利导致国家边界领土被侵吞的例子）
What is more, those lands far from the reach of majority of people might have higher storage of natural resources, and as a result, the government has the duty to preserve such lands for future benefit, though there is no present plan to explore the resources. Additionally, though the natural resource could not be detected immediately, the government should also preserve the remote land for its potential discovery of certain kind of resource. Consider, for instance, the Xinjiang
Province is the most remote areas among provinces in China, and the number of people per square kilometer is much lower than the average number of China. However, every year there are many discoveries of oil fields, which have significant storage of oil. As a result（前面已经用过，建议换个词,如hence）, the government of China places enough attention and allocates extra fund to preserve this land and to  promote the development of Xinjiang Province.  Obviously, the wilderness of the remote areas, to much extant, can best record the development of the earth and natural evolution, thus they have great significance for scientific researches and studies. Just only as these lands can survive without the influence of human, can the natural state be completely preserved, which is the mirror to reflect natural history of species evolving.  And on the basis of such best preserve of natural state, which might be even prehistory,  the natural scientists would make their achievement in decoding the way that the earth changes its appearance. An best illustrating example involves that in the Shennongjia national park in China, great amounts  of rare trees and animals are preserved, and they still conform to their ancient living habits. So, the government adopted great affect to keep the area as a national park for not only personal tour but also scientific researches. My last evidence might lie in that many remote lands, which once had their own prosperity and got otherwise ruined in certain historical events, also have special meaning for tracing history. A case in point is that the remains of Pompeii, an ancient city located in the Campania district of Italy. The very city was ever one of the most developed one  at about one century B.C, while unfortunately the flourish appearance of the city became nothing but ruins for the sake of an extraordinary big volcanic eruption. Until the dig-out at mid eighteen century did the ruins show their appearance to the world. However, though buried by volcanic eruption, the Pompeii City can still embody the daily life styles of the ancient people and present art achievement at that time, which offers historians material to study the history of ancient Rome. Just as one of the greatest poet Goethe once said, and I paraphrase: among numerous calamities, there is none like Pompeii which brings the afterworld great pleasure. （感觉第三，第四两个论点很接近，都是讲其在历史研究方面的价值，是否有必要分开成两段来写呢？）
Though, there might raise some argument against my point that the preserve and  protection does require great amount of funds which might beyond the affordance of the country, however, I should repute that it is true that the government of a country should allocate proper budget according to their capacity of affordance, but such concession does not equal to no activities and protection upon the wilderness areas or remote land. What the government should do turns out to be legislation to avoid destroys from people and make proper affect to make rational use of the remote area according to the special features     

总体上感觉这篇I已经写的很不错了唉，我只是鸡蛋里挑骨头而已了。

[ 本帖最后由 coalaxixi 于 2007-7-5 21:10 编辑 ]

lulu花开UID: 2351079

Alone with the development of the most prosperous part of the country, there is an（a） growing attention to realize the significance of the remote areas which is beyond the reach of the majority of people. So whether the government should allocate budget to preserve such wilder areas has been a(an) increasingly debating question. As far as I am concerned, the government and the society should place enough attention and make affect(take measure是否好些) to protect such wild areas for their potential use and importance to the benefit the society.

To begin with, the remote lands, as part of the domain of a country, should be protected to maintain the integrity of the domain and to declare ownership of the very land. Suppose, without proper protection, if the remote part of domain can be haphazardly（haphazard） occupied by other countries, this means publicly invasion to certain extent, which seriously destroy（拼错了） the sovereignty of the country. And this could best illustrate why countries keep on debating or even fighting for domain confliction. (可以举钓鱼台的例子啊)So, naturally, to protect its integrity, the government of a country should do their best to preserve all parts of their domain, no matter whether the land are(is) in prosperity or remote.（这句话有点多余了，前面不停地在说这个问题，最后还总结一句，感觉很罗嗦，也没有说出什么东西来。）

What is more, those lands far from the reach of majority of people might have higher storage of natural resources, and as a result, the government has the duty to preserve such lands for future benefit, though there is no present plan to explore the resources. Additionally, though the natural resource could not be detected immediately, the government should also preserve the remote land for its potential discovery of certain kind of resource. Consider, for instance, the Xinjiang Province is the most remote areas among provinces in China, and the number of people per square kilometer is much lower than the average number of China. However, every year there are many discoveries of oil fields, which have significant storage of oil. As a result（因为那个地方不停地发现油政府才关注么？应该政府保护在先，发现油田在后，不然就不能体现对没能发现有资源的地带也应该关注了。）, the government of China places enough attention and allocates extra fund to preserve this land and to  promote the development of Xinjiang Province.  

Obviously, the wilderness of the remote areas, to much extant, can best record the development of the earth and natural evolution, thus they have great significance for scientific researches and studies.  Just only as these lands can survive without the influence of human, can the natural state be completely preserved, which is the mirror to reflect natural history of species evolving. （？标点符号似乎不对吧） And on the basis of such best preserve of natural state, which might be even prehistory,  the natural scientists would make their achievement in decoding the way that the earth changes its appearance. An best illustrating example（illustration） involves that in the Shennongjia national park in China, great amounts  of rare trees and animals are preserved, and they still conform to their ancient living habits. So, the government adopted great affect to keep the area as a national park for not only personal tour but also scientific researches.

My last evidence might lie in that many remote lands, which once had their own prosperity and got otherwise ruined in certain historical events, also have special meaning for tracing history. A case in point is that the remains of Pompeii, an ancient city located in the Campania district of Italy. The very city was ever one of the most developed one at about one century B.C, while unfortunately the flourish appearance of the city became nothing but ruins for the sake of an extraordinary big volcanic eruption. Until the dig-out at mid eighteen century did the ruins show their appearance to the world. However, though buried by volcanic eruption, the Pompeii City can still embody the daily life styles of the ancient people and present art achievement at that time, which offers historians material to study the history of ancient Rome. Just as one of the greatest poet Goethe once said, and I paraphrase: among numerous calamities, there is none like Pompeii which brings the afterworld great pleasure. (这个例子举的很到位)

Though, there might raise some argument against my point that the preserve and  protection does require great amount of funds which might beyond the affordance of the country, however, I should repute that it is true that the government of a country should allocate proper budget according to their capacity of affordance, but such concession does not equal to no activities and protection upon the wilderness areas or remote land. What the government should do turns out to be legislation to avoid destroys from people and make proper affect to make rational use of the remote area according to the special features.
总的来说写的还很好（望尘莫及啊），但是相比Argue ，Issue还是稍微逊色.在我看来，论证的部分有点拖沓，不过例子举的还是很好，逻辑结构也很好。小的语法错误仔细看来还是有一些。如果要想得6分，只能有6个语法错误哦！

[ 本帖最后由 lulu花开 于 2007-7-6 08:56 编辑 ]