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[i习作temp] issue28【0710G Victors互助小组】第9次作业-superwangxi [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-7-6 18:45:33 |显示全部楼层

题目:ISSUE 28 - "Students should memorize facts only after they have studied the ideas, trends, and concepts that help explain those facts. Students who have learned only facts have learned very little."

字数:544          用时:0:45:00          日期:2007-7-6

Merely does studying the facts have little to do with the purpose of studying, as the statements stands, I embrace this idea wholeheartedly that if the students only memorize the facts, they would learn nothing from it; unless they have studied the ideas, trends and concepts, they will better understand those facts.

Our textbooks are full of reasonable laws, regulations and facts in any field. In the history field, there are large amount of events, accidents and affairs, which are recorded by historians. And the students should learn much more other laws like Relativity of Theory and classical theory from Newton in physics and the Darwinism in biological field. What is more, even a businessman should learn the theory of management. These contents of lessons are supposed to train the students to face with the challenges whatever in the future. These are emphasized with the schools, and being recognized as fundamental purpose of education.

However, without that the students have studied the ideas, trends and concepts of these laws, regulations and facts, those are merely cold words. Just like a even in our history, if the students bypass the way to analyzing the all aspects of the fact, such as its background, why it happened, and what it brought to our society after it happened, if the students only memorize the fact, it has no meaning. Or consider the studying process of law students. They should learn countless cases which happened in the past. If they only learn these cases by heart, those cases do nothing with their study. When it comes to the business students, it has the same results. Merely memorizing the facts, the students cannot enhance themselves; these facts will not naturally help students resolve problems.

Furthermore, all students and teachers recognize that memorizing the contents of facts is tedious and vague. Everyday, the students repeatedly learn these facts by heart; they will lose the interests and enthusiasm to study. Plus if a teacher only teaches the students to memorize the facts without analyzing them, he will not be a qualified teacher, and his students will learn nothing from him.

Therefore, using creative thinking analyze the facts is very important for students to be an enable man. The liberal education should make the students autonomous and creative, requiring the students who have the intelligence and the will create their destiny. It requires us to combine  memorizing facts with the creative thinking. If the students without memorizing the facts first, our creative thinking will lose their objects. So memorizing facts is the first step for the students to study. After that, the students should do creative thing on these facts. The creative thinking require hard works as the following: analyzing the claims, researching on the details of facts, checking the all sides of issues, using logic revising the flaws of the argument, and then generalizing a conclusion. By doing this the students will gain the knowledge and can use it to handle whatever difficult problems.

In sum, from what I have discussed above, I can draw a conclusion that memorizing the facts is the basic architecture of study. And then, we should use creative thinking analyze the facts to understand the ideas, trends and concepts, which will help us to explain those facts.

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发表于 2007-7-6 22:49:44 |显示全部楼层
seat taken

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发表于 2007-7-7 00:01:41 |显示全部楼层
issue28【0710G Victors互助小组】第9次作业-superwangxi
题目:ISSUE 28 - "Students should memorize facts only after they have studied the ideas, trends, and concepts that help explain those facts. Students who have learned only facts have learned very little."
字数:544          用时:0:45:00          日期:2007-7-6
Merely does studying the facts have little to do with the purpose of studying, as the statements stands, I embrace this idea wholeheartedly that if the students only memorize the facts, they would learn nothing from it; unless they have studied the ideas, trends and concepts, they will better understand those facts.

Our textbooks are full of reasonable laws, regulations and facts in any field.(这个TS引导不是很好,最好能够更切题一些。至少看不出与学习的关系。) In the history field, there are large amount of events, accidents and affairs, which are recorded by historians. And the students should learn much more other laws like Relativity of Theory and classical theory from Newton in physics and the Darwinism in biological field.(为什么需要?你没有解释) What is more, even a businessman should learn the theory of management. (为什么需要?你也没有解释) These contents of lessons are supposed to train the students to face with the challenges whatever in the future.(解释的不仅单薄而且晦涩,无法充分证明你前面提出的论点。没有论据,没有论证语言。) These are emphasized with the schools, and being recognized as fundamental purpose of education.这一段总体来说是失败的。与题目相关,不过没有证明你的观点。为何需要这里理论?原因是什么?有利于学生自己?有利于社会?有利于学科发展?有利于人类将来??具体的没有。

However, without that the students have studied the ideas, trends and concepts of these laws, regulations and facts, those(似乎多了个代词) are merely cold words. Just like a even(event?) in our history, if the students bypass the way to analyzing the all aspects of the fact, such as its background, why it happened, and what it brought to our society after it happened, if the students only memorize the fact, it has no meaning.(句子内部逻辑似乎有问题。两个if if然后it。似乎有点奇怪) Or consider the studying process of law students. They should learn countless cases which happened in the past. If they only learn these cases by heart, those cases do nothing with their study(更不用说将来的实际应用了). When it comes to the business students, it has the same results. Merely memorizing the facts, the students cannot enhance themselves; these facts will not naturally help students resolve problems.(倒是举了很多类型,不过每个都浅浅带过,都没有充分论证。反而觉得作用不大。不如举1到2个,好好的说透彻,然后讲清楚。)

Furthermore, all students and teachers recognize that memorizing the contents of facts is tedious and vague(so that it wont be effective to study感觉这样才切题。). Everyday, the students repeatedly learn these facts by heart; they will lose the interests and enthusiasm to study. Plus if a teacher only teaches the students to memorize the facts without analyzing them, he will not be a qualified teacher, and his students will learn nothing from him. Therefore, using creative thinking(to) analyze the facts is very important for students to be an enable man. The liberal education should make the students autonomous and creative, requiring the students who have the intelligence and the will create their destiny. It requires us to combine memorizing facts with the creative thinking. If the students without memorizing the facts first, our creative thinking will lose their objects. So memorizing facts is the first step for the students to study. After that, the students should do creative thing on these facts. The creative thinking require hard works as the following: analyzing the claims, researching on the details of facts, checking the all sides of issues, using logic revising the flaws of the argument, and then generalizing a conclusion. By doing this the students will gain the knowledge and can use it to handle whatever difficult problems.(语言还可以继续提高,词汇的重复使用太多,变化不够。)这一段才感觉有议论文写作的样子,还不错。

In sum, from what I have discussed above, I can draw a conclusion that memorizing the facts is the basic architecture of study. And then, we should use creative thinking(to) analyze the facts(and) to understand the ideas, trends and concepts, which will help us to explain those facts.(结尾比较简单,只是重复了首段。不好,没有一点论据的感觉。)

议论文写作的基本技巧还比较欠缺。多比较一下这篇文章其他人的习作,提高一下议论文的写法吧。
语言还行,不过希望继续加油提高。
段落结构,以及逻辑关系也需要加强。
继续努力。

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发表于 2007-7-7 00:52:57 |显示全部楼层

想加入你们的团队,我的资料如下,或者能否告诉我组长的联系方式,谢谢

ID          qiulin
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Email   qiulin111@sina.com
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RE: issue28【0710G Victors互助小组】第9次作业-superwangxi [修改]

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