issue6 【越洋农场战队】作文(第三周)！蝌蚪－欢迎拍砖！

koochenUID: 2112859

issue 6: The most effective way to understand contemporary cultures is to analyze the trends of its youth.

1．一个社会的当代文化体现在，这个时期占主体的，作为整个社会支柱的中年人口或老年人口身上，而年轻人所体现的可能是一种sub-culture.  definition of contemporary culture.
A.中年人是社会的主体，他们是当代社会的支柱，他们在各行各业的工作态度，精神面貌，在很大程度上就代表了当代整个社会的面貌，也就是当代文化的各个方面。他们的生活方式，思想都已经成熟，因而所体现出来的面貌，－信仰，行为，知识水平 等都是相对稳定的。
B.年轻人也是当代社会的一个重要群体，了解这个群体对了解当代社会文化是必不可少的，但是，由于年轻人的社会地位，影响力等，并不能代表当代的社会文化，他们是当代文化的继承者，和未来文化的创造者。年轻人有活力和激情，好奇心强，但就是由于他们的这些特点，决定了他们的trends也是多变的，对价值和人生的判断也都不是很成熟。Ex：对于明星的崇拜，追捧。兴趣爱好的改变。
2．年轻人是当代文化的继承者，由塑造当代文化的中老年人负责传递。这是文化的内在联系。文化lies in accumulation and succession。所以年轻人的种种trends（价值观，道德观，世界观等等）也或多或少体现了这种传承，尽管他们某些时候的叛逆，创新。。。。。
而中老年人，同时扮演着两个角色，当代文化的塑造者，以及传递者。所以，我们到此就很清楚的明白了，年轻人和中老年人在这幕剧中所扮演的角色了。所有人都是当代社会文化的创造者，但是主角应该更多的是中老年人，年轻人更多反映的是一个将来变化的趋势。
590 words  90 mins（超时）

Who is responsible for contemporary culture, the youth, the middle aged or the old? The speaker asserts that the analysis of the trends of the youth is the most efficient means to understand contemporary culture, revealing that the youth are mouthpiece of it. But I hold the different opinion from the speaker’s that those middle aged and old, who make up the most population, are more responsible for it, though the trends of the youth nowadays are easily catch up our eyeballs.

I concede that the speaker has caught one side of the issue. However, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary, culture is the integrated pattern of human knowledge, beliefs, behavior that depends upon man’s capacity for learning and transmitting knowledge to succeeding generations and contemporary culture is those of current society. The most populated middle aged and old represent it other than the youth who to some extent mirror the trends of development of the culture in the future—sub-culture. The middle aged and the old account for the principle part of the whole society. Compared with young people, they may be more conservative, platitudinal, and lethargic. Nevertheless, they controlled  the most positions in government, institutions, corporations, education departments, etc. almost the whole society, seem more mature, stable, rational than young man. In virtue of those characters of stability, rationalization and stoutness, our society could step forward peacefully and stably. In a word, they built the civilization and maintained the contemporary culture.

Those effects of the youth to cotemporary culture should not be overlooked, after all, they also being a significant part of the society and the main body of the society in the near future. Because of their inability to lead the advancement of the society, they are only the successors of contemporary culture and represent the trends of current culture. As a symbol of enthusiasm and energy, vogue and vagary, the youth bring us fresh air. However, their divergence and variability hampered those trends of them to be acknowledged as the mainstream of contemporary culture which lies in stability and accumulation. Those young men may be enthusiastic with one pop-star today and pursue another tomorrow. As fad emerges and evanesces one after another, their favorites and attentions also divert. Therefore, the analysis of trends of the youth merely provides us one perspective of the whole contemporary culture.

Moreover, in order to get a more deep understanding of contemporary culture, investigation of the relationship between the youth and the old in the process of the development of culture is necessary. As a proverb says “The world belongs to the youth.” It reveals that young people are the successors of our contemporary culture and the shapers of tomorrow. Their variable, creative, vigorous characters serve well to shape a better future. The old, who were considered as adamant guardians of the tradition and customs, assumed the responsibilities of transmitting moral values, convention, proprieties, which constitute the core part of our contemporary culture. It is clear that the youth act as successors and the old act as presbyters in this chronicle play.

In conclusion, the youth, the middle aged and the old play different roles in contemporary culture. The middle aged and the old accounting for comparatively a larger population, lead and represent the advancement of contemporary culture. In contrast, it is better to say that young people are successors of contemporary culture than representatives of it. Hence, to get a comprehensive understanding of contemporary culture, a combination analysis is indispensable. Otherwise, one can only get one side of the coin.

[ 本帖最后由 koochen 于 2006-6-25 19:17 编辑 ]

bigtapirUID: 2218972

我的进度和你们基本差不多。我的mai是：bigtapir@gmail.com
欢迎联系。多谢。

koochenUID: 2112859

Argument2:   【越洋农场战队作业】
The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.
“ Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community’s yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, We should adopt our own restrictions on landscaping and housepainting.”
1. 因果错误，post hoc, ergo propter hoc, B地采取一系列措施使，然后地产价格上涨，只是时间上的先后关系，无因果关系。
2. 时间已经是7年前，现在很多情况都发生了变化，不能忽略时间上的差距。
3. B地与D地简单的等同关系。就算把B地的措施引入D地，也不一定行得通。

495 words  不计时

In the letter, the committee of homeowners in Deerhaven Acres (D) recommends that a series of restrictions on the appearance of homes should be adopted with the purpose of raising property values. To bolster this recommendation, similar polices of Brookville (B), which was implemented in the seven years since and lead to a tripled average property value in B. At the first glance, the argument appears to be somehow plausible, but further reflection reveals that it is guilty of/suffers from several logic fallacies.

To start off, this argument has engaged in “post hoc, ergo propter hoc” reasoning. The mere fact that the introduction of restrictions on the appearances of the house seven years ago preceded the tripled average property value in B is insufficient to establish a cause-and-effect relationship between these two events. Many other factors may attribute to the same results. For instance, it is entirely possible that a big manufactory was built there also 7 years ago, then many workers from others places were settled there, which would probably result in raising the property values. Without ruling out these possible scenarios, it would be sheer folly to establish a causal relationship between the two events. (renders the conclusion based upon it highly suspect. )

In the second place, the argument assumes that the conditions including the economic status, consumption ratio, government polices, remain have remained unchanged in B since the contrast is between the conditions seven years ago and now. It is entirely possible that, during these years, there is a great inflation in B. Compared to seven years ago, the property values is really tripled. However, commodities that ten dollars can buy now might be only equal to two dollars can seven years before. In the fact, the economy growth and the tripled property values only amount to foams. Lacking information about conditions mentioned above, the recommendation cannot be taken seriously.

Even assuming that the implemented restrictions attribute to the rising property values in B, the committee fails to consider possible differences between B and D that might help to bring about a different result for D. An apt illustration lies in that potential D homebuyers might have different appetite for home’s exterior appearance than homebuyer in B. Blindly introducing these restrictions in D, it is only to find that property values in D decline. There may be also other differences, such as locations, design, and community management, etc. As it stands, the committee’s solution to the problem is based upon an oversimplified analysis of the issue.  

In conclusion, this recommendation of introducing restrictions similar with those in B is ill-conceived and logically flawed. To lend more credible support to the suggestion, clear evidence that the implementation of B’s restrictions must be put forward, and those factors otherwise attribute to the rising of property values should be eliminated. Moreover, if there are evidences that can substantiate house markets in D and B share a common ground, the recommendation may be more convincing.

[ 本帖最后由 koochen 于 2006-6-19 13:10 编辑 ]

lzen5UID: 2216060

its amazing how much you can wirting in 30 mins...very good...

but

issue 6... intro... Merriam Webster dictionary??? a big no no...never quote a website as a source of reference. sounds naive...


third paragraph...a more deep? or deeper? sorry i dont mean to pick on little gramatic mistakes..it just sounds stange.

the choice of words are not perfect in some subtle cases, i think you need to read more literatures. for example: "As a symbol of enthusiasm and energy," sounds better if you say as a symbolism of ...

proverb says “The world belongs to the youth.”  thats a proverb, not what  a proverb said.

As a proverb says “It reveals that young people are the successors of our contemporary culture and the shapers of tomorrow...not a good sentence here , this what i would say... sorry i cant suggest any thing...this line does not logically make sense.

koochenUID: 2112859

Argument9:  【越洋农场战队作业】
The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.
“Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega University have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors.

1. 因果关系。new procedure 与分数上升之间没有必然的因果关系。可能试卷出题简单了，或者学生的能力与过去相比确实提升不少。
2. 片面性，分数提升百分之三十，咋一看还挺吓人，但是它并没有提供是否现在的评分系统与过去是否有不同，也许过去用的是gpa制，现在用的是百分制，或单科提升到800分，比如GRE。
3. 关于就业，认为A大学的就业比O大学好是因为分数问题，这也是不太合理的。可能由于O大学的学生能力确实不如A强，又或者由于专业问题，O大学所设置的某些专业找不到对口的职业等等。
503 words  未计时  看巴西vs澳大利亚呢！呵呵！

In this memorandum, the dean at Omega University (OU) asserts that only to terminate student evaluation of professors, can graduates get better jobs. To support/substantiate the recommendation, several evidences are employed as follow: (1) Introducing a policy of student evaluation of professors leads to a great rising of grades; (2) Compared to 15 years ago, the student average grades increased by thirty percent; (3) Because of the inflated grades, graduates from OU could not get better job as Alpha University (AU). Close scrutiny of this evidences reveal that they lend little credible support to the dean’s recommendation.

To begin with, the author’s line of reasoning is that the introduction of evaluation system was the cause of the great rising of average grades. However, while it may establish a correlation between the two events, and also indicate a correlation, though less significantly, between the two, it does not establish a general causal relationship. To establish this relationship, other factors that can bring about this result must be considered and eliminated. For example, it is entirely possible that the examinations now adopted by OU are much easier than those 15 years ago. And it is also probable that the abilities of students in OU are actually upgraded. Without ruling out these factors attribute to the result, the author cannot rely on this limited evidence to bolster his claim.

Second, the author assumes that the reason students from OU cannot get better opportunities for job than students from AU is the apparent inflated grades. However, there is no evidence linking the two events, thus leaving open the possibility the two events are not causally related but merely correlated. There may be other possibilities as most students in OU, who majored in those subjects not so popular, are much more than social needs. To the contrary, students from AU majored in those subjects are badly need by the society. Another probability may be that abilities of students from AU are really much better than those of OU students. Lacking of compelling evidence to support the causal connection between these tow events, the author’s recommendation is not worthy of consideration.

Finally, the argument lies in an assumption that the thirty percent different in grades indicates that professors gave higher evaluations to the students in behalf of themselves. However, the author provided no evidence to support this assumption. If fifteen years ago, OU adopted a 100-point grade system and few years later, it turned to an 800-point grade system as GRE, the thirty percent difference in grades only lead to a opposite result. Without more information about its grade system, the author’s recommendation amounts to poor advice.

In sum, the evidences provided by the author lend little credible support to his recommendation. To better evaluate the author’s suggestion, we would need more information about how difficult are the examinations taken by students at OU in recent 15 years, and those subjects set by OU. Moreover, the detailed information about the grade system employed by OU also will be appreciated.

[ 本帖最后由 koochen 于 2006-6-19 13:10 编辑 ]

koochenUID: 2112859

Issue9:         【越洋农场作文】
Academic disciplines have become so specialized in recent years that scholars’ ideas reach only a narrow audience. Until scholars can reach a wider audience, their ideas will have little use.

当今学术领域之所以出现这种越来越专业，很多方面并没有只有少数人了解，这是学术领域发展的一种趋势，分类越来越多，越来越细。一个科学家在其有限的生命里，没有足够的精力同时了解很多方面的知识，这也客观上造成了这种现象。那到底学者们，有没有必要去投合大众的口味呢？
1. 在物理学，数学，化学，生物等领域，这是没有必要的。Ex：如果原子弹等大规模杀伤性武器原理为大多数人掌握的话，那对世界来说是个灭顶之灾。
2. 在政治，经济学，宗教，神学等领域，如果理论不为更多的接受的话，就得不到应该有的作用。Ex：马克思的社会主义理论，直接对苏联的建立起了指导作用，如果社会主义没有得到大多数人的认同，那么苏联也不会存在，同样的情况也发生在世界上很多其他国家中国等。世界上很多的大公司，都请管理学，经济学的专家给自己的员工讲授管理的一些原理，目的是为了建立现代化的企业制度，提升公司的整体实力。比如：Walt－mart，Microsoft。 在宗教神学领域，不提它的理论是否正确，只有它的理论被人接受了才能产生社会效应。很难想象人们如果没有了信仰，将会是怎样的一个情况。
3. 学术领域的specialize并不是唯一趋势，出现了所谓的边缘学科，在各学科交叉处，有了很多的突破。

592 words     未计时

There is a marvelous trend in academic field that our knowledge is growing to be more and more sophisticate, divergent, specialized, and can only be understood by those who devote themselves into the subject, while avoiding outsiders, even relevant subjects from accessing, not to mention the public. As the speaker asserts, if the ideas of scholars cannot get more attention, those achievements might not put into comparatively wide use. To some extent, it is reasonable. However, should all these academic principles get through the mass? I hold the different opinion.

In science field, such as physics, mathematics, chemistry, and biology, there is no need to do so. Knowledge in these fields is so complex and diversified that it is impossible for any prodigy to contain all the details. Nowadays most scientists exerted all their life long on one narrow domain and even felt being short of time. It’s unfair to blame those scholars for the specialization in their fields, in that such trend derives from the objective force, essence, command, development of the academy itself rather than the selfishness of them. An apt illustration is the principles and technologies of mass-destruction weapons, as nuclear bombs, biochemical weapons, etc. The more people command these technologies, more danger our civilization will be. Another example lies in the Windows operation system by Microsoft. There is no need for many people to be proficient in programming it, this only a job assumed by a small group, compared to the mass. All we should do is how to put it into use effectively. (自己感觉不太令人信服，先写上) If our energy is consumed in these sophisticate theories, equations, programs, we can only to find wasting our lives.

However, until those theories in sociological field, as politics, human resources management, religions, theology, catch a wider audience, the achievements cannot reach its real destination which they could have arrived. Great ideas within certain period, once were adopted by the masses, would exert huge effects on the society even could bring about powerful revolution. Marxism especially communism, put forward by Marx, was adopted by people from different country and different colors, directly leading to the founding of Soviet, though which is no more existed, The people’s republic of China, Czechoslovakia, etc. a series of communistic countries. Retail magnate Walt-Mart and Microsoft empery often invite distinguished experts in management to give their employees some novelty advancements of management concerned. This may be one of the critical reasons that attribute to their great success and rejuvenation. From this perspective, those academic principles should be popularized.

Sophistication and specialization is not the only trend in academic field. The so called boundary science/borderline science uprising recently lies in the essence of interplay of several subjects. It, in certain degree, requires higher abilities of those scientists who should have good command of knowledge in two or more academic fields. Via introducing research methods, tools, perspectives, from one field to another, they could get more inspiration and sparks, which those experts who are proficient in one direction cannot attain. In fact, those two trends development parallel.

In summary, there is no easy conclusion to such a controversial issue, taking account of all the dimensions in the issue might be best way out of the dilemma. To reach a wider audience, in some academic fields, is necessary and may in turn benefit its research. However, in some other realms, it will turn out to be a nightmare. At all events, an analytic mind should be maintained.

[ 本帖最后由 koochen 于 2006-6-19 13:12 编辑 ]

pewcg8UID: 2143213

你发帖格式不对啊,小心斑竹删你的帖!

lzen5UID: 2216060

here is mine.. https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2

not too sure about argument..i havent started practicing, cant give you any advise.

issue...again same old problems.... GRAMMA...more sophisticate??? sophisticated!!

obvious trying to step up the use of more formal vocabulary, good sign, but choice of words and syntax more important!!!



for example,  "There is a marvelous trend in academic field that our knowledge is growing to be more and more sophisticate, divergent, specialized, and can only be understood by those who devote themselves into the subject" this is very boring syntax i have to say,

how about "the academic field has been trending towards a more sophisticated and specialised level that can be only matered by a select few."

topic sentences prob ..."In science field, such as physics, mathematics, chemistry, and biology, there is no need to do so" to do so??? what is so? apparently something in the introduction, but not sure which sentence you are refering to ...

you would have a better conclusion if you can discuss your point of view instead of just summarise them up

nostrumUID: 2124189

issue 6: The most effective way to understand contemporary cultures is to analyze the trends of its youth.

1．一个社会的当代文化体现在，这个时期占主体的，作为整个社会支柱的中年人口或老年人口身上，而年轻人所体现的可能是一种sub-culture.  definition of contemporary culture.
A.中年人是社会的主体，他们是当代社会的支柱，他们在各行各业的工作态度，精神面貌，在很大程度上就代表了当代整个社会的面貌，也就是当代文化的各个方面。他们的生活方式，思想都已经成熟，因而所体现出来的面貌，－信仰，行为，知识水平 等都是相对稳定的。
B.年轻人也是当代社会的一个重要群体，了解这个群体对了解当代社会文化是必不可少的，但是，由于年轻人的社会地位，影响力等，并不能代表当代的社会文化，他们是当代文化的继承者，和未来文化的创造者。年轻人有活力和激情，好奇心强，但就是由于他们的这些特点，决定了他们的trends也是多变的，对价值和人生的判断也都不是很成熟。Ex：对于明星的崇拜，追捧。兴趣爱好的改变。
2．年轻人是当代文化的继承者，由塑造当代文化的中老年人负责传递。这是文化的内在联系。文化lies in accumulation and succession。所以年轻人的种种trends（价值观，道德观，世界观等等）也或多或少体现了这种传承，尽管他们某些时候的叛逆，创新。。。。。
而中老年人，同时扮演着两个角色，当代文化的塑造者，以及传递者。所以，我们到此就很清楚的明白了，年轻人和中老年人在这幕剧中所扮演的角色了。所有人都是当代社会文化的创造者，但是主角应该更多的是中老年人，年轻人更多反映的是一个将来变化的趋势。
590 words  90 mins（超时）

Who is responsible for contemporary culture, the youth, the middle aged or the old? The speaker asserts that the analysis of the trends of the youth (好多的the呀，念起来不舒服)is the most efficient means to understand contemporary culture, revealing （这里换成一个表原因的会比较好）that the youth are mouthpiece（spokesperson, 那个不是正式用语） of it. But I hold the different opinion from the speaker’s （which is ）that those middle aged and old, who make up the most(major) population, are more responsible for it, though the trends of the youth nowadays are easily catch up our eyeballs.

I concede that the speaker has caught one side of the issue. However, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary, culture is the integrated pattern of human knowledge, beliefs, behavior that depends upon man’s capacity for learning and transmitting knowledge to succeeding generations and contemporary culture is those of current society. The most populated middle aged and old represent it other than the youth who to some extent mirror the trends of development of the culture in the future—sub-culture. The middle aged and the old account for the principle part of the whole society. Compared with young people, they may be more conservative, platitudinal, and lethargic. Nevertheless, they controlled  the most positions in government, institutions, corporations, education departments, etc.(非正式用语)almost the whole society, seem more mature, stable, rational than young man. In virtue of those characters of stability, rationalization and stoutness, our society could step forward peacefully and stably. In a word, they built the civilization and maintained the contemporary culture.这一段写得很好，但是我认为应该再跟中心句联系一下，说明研究中年人才是最有效的，因为题目讨论的是怎么样才最有效么

Those effects of the youth to cotemporary culture should not be overlooked, after all, they also being a significant part of the society and the main body of the society in the near future.（这句话是不是有点前后矛盾？） Because of their inability to lead the advancement of the society, they are only the successors of contemporary culture and represent the trends of current culture. As a symbol of enthusiasm and energy, vogue and vagary, the youth bring us fresh air. However, their divergence and variability hampered those trends of them to be acknowledged as the mainstream of contemporary culture which lies in stability and accumulation. Those young men may be enthusiastic with one pop-star today and pursue another tomorrow. As fad emerges and evanesces one after another, their favorites and attentions also divert. Therefore, the analysis of trends of the youth merely provides us one perspective of the whole contemporary culture.

Moreover, in order to get a more deep understanding of contemporary culture, investigation of the relationship between the youth and the old in the process of the development of culture is necessary. As a proverb says “The world belongs to the youth.” It reveals that young people are the successors of our contemporary culture and the shapers of tomorrow. Their variable, creative, vigorous characters serve well to shape a better future. The old, who were considered as adamant guardians of the tradition and customs, assumed the responsibilities of transmitting moral values, convention, proprieties, which constitute the core part of our contemporary culture. It is clear that the youth act as successors and the old act as presbyters in this chronicle play.

In conclusion, the youth, the middle aged and the old play different roles in contemporary culture. The middle aged and the old accounting for comparatively a larger population, lead and represent the advancement of contemporary culture. In contrast, it is better to say that young people are successors of contemporary culture than representatives of it. Hence, to get a comprehensive understanding of contemporary culture, a combination analysis is indispensable. Otherwise, one can only get one side of the coin.
写得很好呀，我觉得有语言上的问题，几个地方我也拿不准，但是觉得不舒服，多看看原版文章好了
思路很清晰的，有这个就不怕了

nostrumUID: 2124189

Argument9:  【越洋农场战队作业】
The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.
“Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega University have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors.

1. 因果关系。new procedure 与分数上升之间没有必然的因果关系。可能试卷出题简单了，或者学生的能力与过去相比确实提升不少。
2. 片面性，分数提升百分之三十，咋一看还挺吓人，但是它并没有提供是否现在的评分系统与过去是否有不同，也许过去用的是gpa制，现在用的是百分制，或单科提升到800分，比如GRE。
3. 关于就业，认为A大学的就业比O大学好是因为分数问题，这也是不太合理的。可能由于O大学的学生能力确实不如A强，又或者由于专业问题，O大学所设置的某些专业找不到对口的职业等等。
503 words  未计时  看巴西vs澳大利亚呢！呵呵！

In this memorandum, the dean at Omega University (OU) asserts that only to terminate student evaluation of professors, can graduates get better jobs. To support/substantiate the recommendation, several evidences are employed as follow: (1) Introducing a policy of student evaluation of professors leads to a great rising of grades; (2) Compared to 15 years ago, the student average grades increased by thirty percent; (3) Because of the inflated grades, graduates from OU could not get better job as Alpha University (AU). Close scrutiny of this evidences reveal that they lend little credible support to the dean’s recommendation. 列举1，2，3的做法不太好吧？显得只是简单的列举，没深度的样子To begin with, the author’s line of reasoning is that the introduction of evaluation system was the cause of the great rising of average grades. However, while it may establish a correlation between the two events, and also indicate a correlation, though less significantly, between the two, it does not establish a general causal relationship. To establish this relationship, other factors that can bring about this result must be considered and eliminated. 前面这部分有点长吧？我觉得简化一下，然后多举反例比较有说服力吧For example, it is entirely possible that the examinations now adopted by OU are much easier than those 15 years ago. And it is also probable that the abilities of students in OU are actually upgraded. Without ruling out these factors attribute to the result, the author cannot rely on this limited evidence to bolster his claim.

Second, the author assumes that the reason students from OU cannot get better opportunities for job than students from AU is the apparent inflated grades. However, there is no evidence linking （linking？）the two events, thus leaving open the possibility the two events are not causally related but merely correlated. There may be other possibilities as most students in OU, who majored in those subjects not so popular, are much more than social needs. To the contrary, students from AU majored in those subjects are badly need by the society. Another probability may be that abilities of students from AU are really much better than those of OU students. Lacking of compelling evidence to support the causal connection between these tow events, the author’s recommendation is not worthy of consideration.

Finally, the argument lies in an assumption that the thirty percent different in grades indicates that professors gave higher evaluations to the students in behalf of themselves. However, the author provided no evidence to support this assumption. If fifteen years ago, OU adopted a 100-point grade system and few years later, it turned to an 800-point grade system as GRE, the thirty percent difference in grades only lead to a opposite result. Without more information about its grade system, the author’s recommendation amounts to poor advice.

In sum, the evidences provided by the author lend little credible support to his recommendation. To better evaluate the author’s suggestion, we would need more information about how difficult are the examinations taken by students at OU in recent 15 years, and those subjects set by OU. Moreover, the detailed information about the grade system employed by OU also will be appreciated
写得很好的，只是错误之间的逻辑关系还可以在改进下Argument2:   【越洋农场战队作业】
The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.
“ Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community’s yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, We should adopt our own restrictions on landscaping and housepainting.”
1. 因果错误，post hoc, ergo propter hoc, B地采取一系列措施使，然后地产价格上涨，只是时间上的先后关系，无因果关系。
2. 时间已经是7年前，现在很多情况都发生了变化，不能忽略时间上的差距。
3. B地与D地简单的等同关系。就算把B地的措施引入D地，也不一定行得通。

495 words  不计时

In the letter, the committee of homeowners in Deerhaven Acres (D) recommends that a series of restrictions on the appearance of homes should be adopted with the purpose of raising property values. To bolster this recommendation, similar polices of Brookville (B), which was implemented in the seven years since and lead to a tripled average property value in B. At the first glance, the argument appears to be somehow plausible, but further reflection reveals that it is guilty of/suffers from several logic fallacies.

To start off, this argument has engaged in “post hoc, ergo propter hoc” reasoning. The mere fact that the introduction of restrictions on the appearances of the house seven years ago preceded the tripled average property value in B is insufficient to establish a cause-and-effect relationship between these two events. Many other factors may attribute to the same results. For instance, it is entirely possible that a big manufactory was built there also 7 years ago, then many workers from others places were settled there, which would probably result in raising the property values. Without ruling out these possible scenarios, it would be sheer folly to establish a causal relationship between the two events. (renders the conclusion based upon it highly suspect. ) 举例论证有点少了

In the second place, the argument assumes that the conditions including the economic status, consumption ratio, government polices, remain have remained unchanged in B since the contrast is between the conditions seven years ago and now. It is entirely possible that, during these years, there is a great inflation in B. Compared to seven years ago, the property values is really tripled. However, commodities that ten dollars can buy now might be only equal to two dollars can seven years before. In the fact, the economy growth and the tripled property values only amount to foams. Lacking information about conditions mentioned above, the recommendation cannot be taken seriously. 举例少了，还有很多因素呀，人们观念的变化也是挺好的原因

Even assuming that the implemented restrictions attribute to the rising property values in B, the committee fails to consider possible differences between B and D that might help to bring about a different result for D. An apt illustration lies in that potential D homebuyers might have different appetite for home’s exterior appearance than homebuyer in B. Blindly introducing these restrictions in D, it is only to find that property values in D decline. There may be also other differences, such as locations, design, and community management, etc. As it stands, the committee’s solution to the problem is based upon an oversimplified analysis of the issue.  这段原因挺多的，不错

In conclusion, this recommendation of introducing restrictions similar with those in B is ill-conceived and logically flawed. To lend more credible support to the suggestion, clear evidence that the implementation of B’s restrictions must be put forward, and those factors otherwise attribute to the rising of property values should be eliminated. Moreover, if there are evidences that can substantiate house markets in D and B share a common ground, the recommendation may be more convincing.

还是一样的问题，整体写得很好的，我觉得每个错误多举几个可能性比较好，只举一个反例会觉得不充分

kito9695UID: 209685

注意发帖格式错了，这么热闹一个帖子，竟然没人发现发帖格式的问题...

认真学习下面的帖子
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

每天版里第一页都飘着这么大的红字就素木有人看，真是想哭啊...

pewcg8UID: 2143213

我们组的，我说了，无效，竟然还有把作业继续在这里连接的，我发誓我早就把发帖格式的问题说过了，但是好象组员大家没看见一样，绝对没改过来的，郁闷！不好意思BB>

kito9695UID: 209685

原帖由 pewcg8 于 2006-6-25 01:11 发表
我们组的，我说了，无效，竟然还有把作业继续在这里连接的，我发誓我早就把发帖格式的问题说过了，但是好象组员大家没看见一样，绝对没改过来的，郁闷！不好意思BB>

啦~
你是这个组的阿，看下面这个帖子~
给我你们组的大帖链接，最近在调整小组呢

expire7UID: 2160574

原帖由 pewcg8 于 2006-6-25 01:11 发表
我们组的，我说了，无效，竟然还有把作业继续在这里连接的，我发誓我早就把发帖格式的问题说过了，但是好象组员大家没看见一样，绝对没改过来的，郁闷！不好意思BB>

谢谢配合我们的工作啊，没事，毕竟不是一天两天的。不过我暂时还是执行一下操作。

LZ发帖标题不符合置顶帖要求，我关闭了，请LZ修改好以后，给我们PM，再解锁。
长时间如果不修改的，我们会定期给与删除。