issue17 (法律类just or unjust）期待你们和我探讨一下，没注意啊，使劲拍吧

ahqiuUID: 207682

Issue17
——题目——
There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws.
——正文——
Everything has two sides, including laws which may not be absolutely just. In this sense, I fundamentally concur with the speaker that laws can be divided into two types, just and unjust. As to the attitude to the law, I agree with the speaker insofar as that everyone should obey just laws, however, it is harmful to advocate that we should disobey unjust laws, for laws are promulgated to keep the stability of human society and protect our life from being violated.

To begin with, I have to concede the existence of unjust laws, for every individual in the society have different point of view on the same subject, and the justice of the law is without exception. If some laws impair the benefits of a few people, the laws may probably be regarded as unjust by this group. For example, for the sake of absorbing more foreign capital, China ordinate the laws providing some privilege to foreign companies，which is popular with businessmen overseas, whereas, these kinds of laws are considered to be unjust by domestic companies for they imperil their benefits and baffle their development in the short-term. Actually, in the long run, these laws may benefit China's economy not only for the help of foreign funds, but also for the stimulation of foreign countries which improve the competence of domestic companies. It is true when we come to social life, see how many of us complain about the personal income tax. In this sense, some laws that seem to be intolerable from one point may have their advantages in the other.

Another reason why we should observe to the laws whether it just or not is that it is the responsibility of every citizen to obey the laws in his own country and we live our everyday life under a legal system. Ever since the Code of Hammurapi came into being, laws have begun to put restriction to people’s behaviors and have play an important part in the maintenance of social order. If anyone of us disobeys the laws as we wish on the excuse that the laws are unjust, it is meaningless to ordinate laws at all, for the controlling authority does not work. Just imagine that someone committed the crime of property on the pretext that the law was unjust to leave him poverty, and another committed homicide for he thought the victim should die and the law which prevents him from killing is unfair. What a terrible scene. No one is granted the rights to surpass the boundary of laws, otherwise our everyday life tend to be violated.

Although there may exist unjust laws which block the development of the society, we should phrase them out in a peaceful way instead of disobedience or resistance. In past times, American civil war was partly caused by the limitation of democratic system. However, nowadays, as the development of democratic society, people are endowed with more rights to provoke the government, for instance, the unjust laws which create barriers to rob votes from women and  people of color, are abolished by relatively peaceful pageants and campaigns. In this respect, healthy mechanism has been set up in many democratic countries, which enable people to behave their rights more effectively so as to solve the problems caused by the unjust laws.

In my final analysis, I admit that there exit just laws and unjust laws, for people have their own visions. However, it is not insensible to encourage people disobey and resist unjust laws, for laws have put up a paradigm on which people abide by, for the sake of personal interests and social stability as well.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-14 at 21:58 ]

cssUID: 173612

Issue17
——题目——
There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws.
——正文——
Everything has two sides, including laws which may not be absolutely just. In this sense, I fundamentally concur with the speaker that laws can be divided into two types, just and unjust. As to the attitude to the law, I agree with the speaker insofar as that everyone should obey just laws, however, it is harmful to advocate that we should disobey unjust laws, for laws are promulgated 用established比较好 to keep the stability of human society and protect our life from being violated.不错！保守的开头，思路很顺，逻辑也严密，就是……挑个刺：第一句是不是传说给用滥了阿？

To begin with, I have to concede the existence of unjust laws, for every individual in the society have different point of view on the same subject, and the justice of the law 感觉exception 是针对law来说的，把justice 去了吧 is without exception. If some laws impair the benefits of a few people, the laws may probably be regarded as unjust by this group. For example, for the sake of absorbing more foreign capital, China ordinate 我没在韦氏查到相应的意思 the laws providing some privilege to foreign companies，which is popular with businessmen overseas, whereas, these kinds of laws are considered to be unjust by domestic companies for they imperil their benefits and baffle their development in the short-term. Actually, in the long run, these laws may benefit China's economy not only for the help of foreign funds, 很新颖很贴切的例子！
但为了作例子的关系，就别解释长短期了，不说每人知道的，而且跟主题关系不大 but also for the stimulation of foreign countries which improve the competence of domestic companies. It is true when we come to social life, see how many of us complain about the personal income tax. In this sense, some laws that seem to be intolerable from one point may have their advantages in the other. ts是在解释不同人对法律看法不同，还没涉及为什么不能破坏法，后面的论证应该放到下一段当原因

Another reason why we should observe to the laws whether it just or not is that it is the responsibility of every citizen to obey the laws in his own country and we live our everyday life under a legal system. Ever since the Code of Hammurapi came into being, laws have begun to put restriction to people’s behaviors and have play an important part in the maintenance of social order. If anyone of us disobeys the laws as we wish on the excuse that the laws are unjust, it is meaningless to ordinate laws at all, for the controlling authority does not work. Just imagine that someone committed the crime of property on the pretext that the law was unjust to leave him poverty, and another committed homicide for he thought the victim should die and the law which prevents him from killing is unfair. What a terrible scene. 例子是没错，但好像在绕弯子，没论证到点子，或者再简练点，说说人们心理上认为可以破坏法和心理上敬畏法有什么不同，上段后面那个挪下来用也行上No one is granted the rights to surpass the boundary of laws, otherwise our everyday life tend to be violated.结尾很有力

Although there may exist unjust laws which block the development of the society, we should phrase them out 这个用法不合适吧？in a peaceful way instead of disobedience or resistance. In past times, American civil war was partly caused by the limitation of democratic system. However, nowadays, as the development of democratic society, people are endowed with more rights to provoke 什么意思？the government, for instance, the unjust laws which create barriers to rob votes from women and  people of color, are abolished by relatively peaceful pageants and campaigns. 又有点陷入叙述例子的圈子In this respect, healthy mechanism has been set up in many democratic countries, which enable people to behave their rights more effectively so as to solve the problems caused by the unjust laws. 例子很好，还是注意简练！这段ts讲人民应该和平表达，结尾和例子讲政府要给权，其实是两回事，要不换ts，要不重新讲后面的意思

In my final analysis, I admit that there exit just laws and unjust laws, for people have their own visions. However, it is not insensible to encourage people disobey and resist unjust laws, for laws have put up a paradigm on which people abide by, for the sake of personal interests and social stability as well. 结尾也不错！

进步好快啊，这个题我觉得满难的，你也攻下来了:)

[ Last edited by css on 2005-7-14 at 21:38 ]

MALONSOUID: 194798

我说过的一定回拍

wjlillianUID: 189710

第一次改，说得不好，还请见谅，请多多指教：）:)

Everything has two sides, including laws which may not be absolutely just. In this sense, I fundamentally concur with the speaker that laws can be divided into two types, just and unjust. (怎么感觉和laws which may not be absolutely just矛盾呀) As to the attitude to the law(这句总觉得怪怪的), I agree with the speaker insofar as that everyone should obey just laws, however, it is harmful to advocate that we should disobey unjust laws, for laws are promulgated to keep the stability of human society and protect our life from being violated.

To begin with, I have to concede the existence of unjust laws, for every individual in the society have (应该是has吧)different point of view on the same subject, and the justice of the law is without exception(这句是什么意思呀?). If some laws impair the benefits of a few people, the laws may probably be regarded as unjust by this group. For example, for the sake of absorbing more foreign capital, China ordinate(ordinate是想说”制定”吗? 是不是应该换成draw up) the laws providing some privilege to foreign companies，which is popular with businessmen overseas, whereas, these kinds of laws are considered to be unjust by domestic companies for they imperil their benefits and baffle their development in the short-term. Actually, in the long run, these laws may benefit China's economy not only for the help of foreign funds, but also for the stimulation of foreign countries which improve the competence of domestic companies. (这句话好像不是在正明论点: If some laws impair the benefits of a few people, the laws may probably be regarded as unjust by this group.反而是在驳斥论点) It is true when we come to social life, see how many of us complain about the personal income tax. In this sense, some laws that seem to be intolerable from one point may have their advantages in the other.

Another reason why we should observe to the laws whether it just or not is (是is not吧) that it is the responsibility of every citizen to obey the laws in his own country and we live (in) our everyday life under a legal system. Ever since the Code of Hammurapi came into being, laws have begun to put restriction to (直接用restrict简洁一些) people’s behaviors and have play (played) an important part(是role吧) in the maintenance of social order. If anyone (everyone) of us disobeys the laws as we wish on the excuse that the laws are unjust, it is meaningless to ordinate (draw up) laws at all, for the controlling authority does not work. Just imagine (imagination) that someone committed the crime of property on the pretext that the law was unjust to leave him poverty, and another committed homicide for he thought the victim should die and the law which prevents him from killing is unfair(这句没看懂,是想说什么?). What a terrible scene. (如果是感叹句应该加”!”号,不过不知道issue里有感叹句合不合适,请教一下) No one is granted the rights to surpass the boundary of laws, otherwise our everyday life tend to be violated.(这句表意不明确,如果说otherwise we want to live in a turbulent society.)

Although there may exist unjust laws which block the development of the society, we should phrase(point) them out in(by) a peaceful way instead of disobedience or resistance. In past times (in the past), American civil war was partly caused by the limitation of democratic system. However, nowadays, as the development of democratic society, people are endowed with more rights to provoke(这个词有点不妥) the government, for instance, the unjust laws which create barriers to rob votes from women and  people of color, are abolished by relatively peaceful pageants(这个游行好像有庆祝的意思在里面,不知道用在这里合不合适,请教一下这个词的具体意思和用法) and campaigns. In this respect, healthy mechanism has been set up in many democratic countries, which enable people to behave their rights more effectively so as to solve the problems caused by the unjust laws. (这句用得好!)

In my final analysis, I admit that there exit(are) just laws and unjust laws, for people have their own visions(perspectives). However, it is not insensible(这个好像是无知觉的意思,放在这里是什么意思呀?) to encourage people disobey and resist unjust laws, for laws have put up a paradigm on which people abide by, for the sake of personal interests and social stability as well.

ahqiuUID: 207682

多谢大家的认真批改，呵呵，受益匪浅阿，另外，
有人知道颁布法律怎么说吗
还有示威游行，金山上面说是bedin,我不知道，呵呵

[ Last edited by ahqiu on 2005-7-14 at 22:18 ]

MALONSOUID: 194798

Everything has two sides, including laws which may not be absolutely just. In this sense, I fundamentally concur with the speaker that laws can be divided into two types, just and unjust. As to the attitude to the law, I agree with the speaker insofar（这个词是老外很爱用的，好） as that everyone should obey just laws, however, it is harmful to advocate that we should disobey unjust laws, for laws are promulgated to keep the stability of human society and protect our life from being violated.

To begin with, I have to concede the existence of unjust laws, for every individual in the society have different point of view(viewpoint就可以了吧) on the same subject, and the justice of the law is without（ 好像有点别扭，用there be句型如何，个人意见） exception（整句由点怪怪的，主要是for那个句子的位置，究竟是前一句的原因还是后一句的原因，建议分开两个句子会清晰点）. If some laws impair the benefits of a few（我觉得用some 较好） people, the laws may probably be regarded as unjust by this group. For example, for the sake of absorbing more foreign capital, China ordinate（查过好像不是动词） the laws providing some privilege to foreign companies，which is popular with businessmen overseas, whereas, these kinds of laws are considered to be unjust by domestic companies for they imperil their benefits and baffle their development in the short-term. Actually, in the long run, these laws may benefit China's economy not only for the help of foreign funds, but also for the stimulation of foreign countries which improve（improves） the competence of domestic companies. It is true when we come to social life, see how many(myriad) of us complain about the personal income tax（怎么说着说着，就突然扯到个人所得税了）. In this sense, some laws that seem to be intolerable from one point may have their advantages in the other.

Another reason why we should observe to（不需要to） the laws whether it(they) (are) just or not is that it is the responsibility of every citizen to obey the laws in his own country and we live our everyday life under a legal system. Ever since the Code of Hammurapi came into being, laws have begun to put restriction to people’s behaviors and have play(played) an important part in the maintenance of social order. If anyone of us disobeys the laws as we wish on the excuse that the laws are unjust, it is meaningless to ordinate(同上) laws at all, for the controlling authority does not work. Just imagine that someone committed the crime of property on the pretext that the law was unjust to leave him poverty, and another committed homicide for he thought the victim should die and the law which prevents him from killing is unfair. What a terrible scene. No one is granted the rights to surpass the boundary of laws, otherwise our everyday life tend to be violated（chaos我觉得更好）.

Although there may exist unjust laws which block the development of the society, we should phrase them out in a peaceful way instead of disobedience or resistance. In past times, American civil war was partly caused by the limitation of democratic system. However, nowadays, as the development of democratic society, people are endowed with more rights to provoke the government, for instance, the unjust laws which create barriers to rob votes（suffrage） from women and  people of color, are abolished by relatively peaceful pageants and campaigns. In this respect, healthy mechanism has been set up in many democratic countries, which enable people to behave their rights more effectively so as to solve the problems caused by the unjust laws.

In my final analysis, I admit that there exit(are) just laws and unjust laws, for people have their own visions. However, it is not insensible to encourage people disobey and resist unjust laws, for laws have put up a paradigm on which people abide by, for the sake of personal interests and social stability as well.

写得很不错，基本上结构很严密，尤其第四段写得很好，在这基础上，可以多注意以下句型的多样化，或用一下排比句增加气势，好像第三段的例子，就可以举多一个换换句型，构成排比。对你学作思路的严密很佩服，因为我经常会写着写着就跑题了，以后多指教。

issue 7
http://211.151.90.54/bbs/viewthr ... ht=%2B%2Bmalonso%2B
issue 36
http://211.151.90.54/bbs/viewthr ... ht=%2B%2Bmalonso%2B
issue 185
http://211.151.90.54/bbs/viewthr ... ht=%2B%2Bmalonso%2B
issue 138
http://211.151.90.54/bbs/viewthr ... ht=%2B%2Bmalonso%2B
issue 152
http://211.151.90.54/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=299617

ahqiuUID: 207682

呵呵，多谢指教，我还是个初学者哩，共同努力，共同进步吧，加油！！

86390216UID: 2102486

Everything has two sides, including laws which may not be absolutely just. In this sense, I fundamentally concur with the speaker that laws can be divided into two types, just and unjust. As to the attitude to the law, I agree with the speaker insofar as that everyone should obey just laws, however, it is harmful to advocate that we should disobey unjust laws, for laws are promulgated to keep the stability of human society and protect our life from being violated.很漂亮的开头 都很明确 虽然都没有什么高深词汇

To begin with, I have to concede the existence of unjust laws, for every individual in the society have different point of view on the same subject, and the justice of the law is without exception. If some laws impair the benefits of a few people, the laws may probably be regarded as unjust by this group. For example, for the sake of absorbing more foreign capital, China ordinate【不熟悉这个单词】 the laws providing some privilege to foreign companies，which is popular with businessmen overseas, whereas, these kinds of laws are considered to be unjust by domestic companies for they imperil their benefits and baffle their development in the short-term. Actually, in the long run, these laws may benefit China's economy not only for the help of foreign funds, but also for the stimulation of foreign countries which improve the competence of domestic companies.觉得这个例子很好 但是马上转到个人所得税 太快了 想略有点悬殊哦 It is true when we come to social life, see how many of us complain about the personal income tax. In this sense, some laws that seem to be intolerable from one point may have their advantages in the other.

Another reason why we should observe to the laws whether it just or not is that it is the responsibility of every citizen to obey the laws in his own country and we live our everyday life under a legal system. Ever since the Code of Hammurapi came into being, laws have begun to put restriction to people’s behaviors and have play【played】 an important part in the maintenance of social order. If anyone of us disobeys the laws as we wish on the excuse that the laws are unjust, it is meaningless to ordinate laws at all, for the controlling authority does not work. Just imagine that someone committed the crime of property on the pretext that the law was unjust to leave him poverty, and another committed homicide for he thought the victim should die and the law which prevents him from killing is unfair. What a terrible scene. No one is granted the rights to surpass the boundary of laws, otherwise our everyday life tend to be violated.这一段很好

Although there may exist unjust laws which block the development of the society, we should phrase这个表达是什么意思？我实在是固陋了 them out in a peaceful way instead of disobedience or resistance. In past times, American civil war was partly caused by the limitation of democratic system. However, nowadays, as the development of democratic society, people are endowed with more rights to provoke the government, for instance, the unjust laws which create barriers to rob votes from women and  people of color, are abolished by relatively peaceful pageants and campaigns. In this respect, healthy mechanism has been set up in many democratic countries, which enable people to behave their rights more effectively so as to solve the problems caused by the unjust laws.

In my final analysis, I admit that there exit just laws and unjust laws, for people have their own visions. However, it is not insensible to encourage people disobey and resist unjust laws, for laws have put up a paradigm on which people abide by, for the sake of personal interests and social stability as well.结尾也很漂亮
总体来说 很不错的水平了 多想你学习啊 这篇文章花了多少时间？

86390216UID: 2102486

我也说过一定回拍的 呵呵

wjlillianUID: 189710

问一下insofar这个词应该怎么用呀

edgarluUID: 203648

Everything has two sides, including laws which may not be absolutely just. In this sense, I fundamentally concur with the speaker that laws can be divided into two types, just and unjust. As to the attitude to the law, I agree with the speaker insofar as that everyone should obey just laws, [however不能用于串联从句，都是另起一句]however, it is harmful to advocate that we should disobey unjust laws, for laws are promulgated to keep the stability of human society and protect our life from being violated.
neat!

To begin with, I have to concede the existence of unjust laws, [给个建议，楼主好象偏好用for作为因果连接词，后面如果跟名词或动名词问题不大，可如果跟句子最好还是改用because, for引导句子大部分出现在口语中，象这一句for后面还接了and连接的从句就更不合适用for了，不符合他们的阅读习惯]for every individual in the society have different point of view on the same subject, and the justice of the law is without exception[这句话有问题，jusitce is without exception是说公正无例外，即对谁都公正]. If some laws impair the benefits of a few people, the laws may probably be regarded as unjust by this group. For example, for the sake of absorbing more foreign capital, China ordinate[记错了吧] the laws providing some privilege to foreign companies，which is popular with businessmen overseas, whereas, these kinds of laws are considered to be unjust by domestic companies for they imperil their benefits and baffle their development in the short-term.[外资优惠法案怎么会损害国内厂家的利益和发展，这应该稍微给出点具体原因，比如说the impact on the domestic market and the inequality of competition] Actually, in the long run, these laws may benefit China's economy not only for the help of foreign funds, but also for the stimulation of foreign countries which improve the competence of domestic companies. It is true when we come to social life, see how many of us complain about the personal income tax. In this sense, some laws that seem to be intolerable from one point may have their advantages in the other. [From one point和in the other对不上，建议把in the other 改称on the other side]

Another reason why we should observe to the laws whether it just or not is that it is the responsibility of every citizen to obey the laws in his own country and we live our everyday life under a legal system. Ever since the Code of Hammurapi came into being, laws have begun to put [been putting] restriction to people’s behaviors and have play[playing] an important part in the maintenance of social order. If anyone of us disobeys the laws as we wish on the excuse that the laws are unjust, it is meaningless to ordinate laws at all, for the controlling authority does not work. Just imagine that someone committed the crime of property on the pretext that the law was unjust to leave him poverty, and another committed homicide for he thought the victim should die and the law which prevents him from killing is unfair.[第一个例子太泛，宜具体一点，比如说重税；第二个例子，the law preventing people from killing没有unfair的，我知道你的意思，其实只要说死的人该死就行了，比如 the victim shoud die yet keep living under the protection of law] What a terrible scene. No one is granted the rights to surpass the boundary of laws, otherwise our everyday life tend to be violated.

Although there may exist[没有这样的用法,there may be] unjust laws which block the development of the society, we should phrase them out[是phased them out，不过这个用法很好，值得借鉴] in a peaceful way instead of disobedience or resistance. In past times, American civil war was partly caused by the limitation of democratic system. However, nowadays, as the development of democratic society, people are endowed with more rights to provoke[这个词用得不对] the government, for instance, the unjust laws which create barriers to rob votes from women and  people of color[deprive women and the colored of their rights to vote], are abolished by relatively peaceful pageants and campaigns[法律不能被这些活动废除，只能被立法机关legislature废除，或是在这些活动的压力下被废除]. In this respect, healthy mechanism has been set up in many democratic countries, which enable people to behave their rights more effectively so as to solve the problems caused by the unjust laws.

In my final analysis, I admit that there exit just laws and unjust laws, for people have their own visions. However, it is not insensible[sensible] to encourage people disobey and resist unjust laws, for laws have put up a paradigm on which people[for people to] abide by, for the sake of personal interests and social stability as well.

总结意见
改了一些语法和用词错误连篇的文章后，看楼主的文章有如沐春风之感
结构清晰，段落中始终都紧扣主题，后一点看起来容易，限时写的时候要做到真不容易
个人感觉楼主不是在写的过程中用了金山词霸就是单词量颇为可观，因为我感觉很多地方同一个意思我写肯定不会用楼主用的词。我不是怀疑楼主的实力，只不过如果是用单词查询工具最好要戒掉。我觉得给别人改作文本身就很增加单词储备，能和别人的单词量互补，比如我给楼主改的这一篇
附上本人习作，还望共相切磋
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D101

ahqiuUID: 207682

非常感谢，我会加油的，我觉得我的词汇量很小的，想半天哩，还经常拼错，不知道怎么办？？呵呵