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[i习作temp] Issue136 限时失败,很好写的题目... 发挥不正常 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-7-17 10:42:34 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue136
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.

Outline:
Firstly, although technology has developed to a fantastic level where human beings are as vulnerable as before against "God's will", sometimes we would still face the embarrassment of choiceless situations.
Secondly, Other than technological problems, there are some inherent limitations about human deciding that the option is not always an option for us.
However, even if we can't make choice in some occasions, we could probably figure out solutions to prevent such accidents from happening.

Article:
Human, the only advanced intelligent creature in this planet, has become the master of this planet and their own destiny, as some people would proudly claim. We've conquered so many obstacles which used to stand in our way, and this process is even accelerating with science and technology on full throttle. But is it true that we have firmly taken so much control of everything that choices are always open to us? No, mortals.

Firstly, although technology has developed to a fantastic level where human beings are as vulnerable as before against "God's will", sometimes we would still face the embarrassment of choiceless situations. The technology we possessed  is not sophisticated and powerful enough to shield us from all the unpredictable accidents the nature or even the whole universe imposing on us. An example that would immediate pop up into everybody's mind would be the Indian Ocean Tsunami. Although we've known much about tsunami from those happened before and developed some systems to monitor and forecast the possible happening of tsunamis, this one, which was initiated from the centric area of Indian Ocean, is a sudden attack of Earth to the coastal areas that makes any response of technology helpless. Hundreds of thousands were gone or lost while even more lives in the tearing sorrow of losing families. For the first time in the latest decades did people feel how weak and shallow we are compared with the power of nature.

Secondly, Other than technological problems, there are some inherent limitations about human deciding that the option is not always an option for us. Human beings are emotional, fleshy and socialized animals, which also stands for three types of problems born with us: psychological, physical and social ones. As long as we still have brains, bodies and societies, these problems will always exist defying us and depriving us of chances and options. There are too many "have-to"s for the majority of us in this world: we have to eat, have to breathe, have to work for money, have to control our rage, have to obey the law. Actually, only with these uncompromising restrictions can we call us human, can we pursue the principles and the very essence of the universe.

However, even if we can't make choice in some occasions, we could probably figure out solutions to prevent such accidents from happening. This is the way we've been evolving, making our life less and less unpredictable and uncontrollable. For instance, about a month after the Indian Ocean Tsunami, experts and government officials gathered in a meeting to discuss a plan of building Global Tsunami Monitoring and Warning System, which is supposed to minimize the damage caused by any possible tsunami in the future. The kind of choiceless dilemma could happen to us once, but not any more.

All in all, the absence of choice is not a rare phenomenon, it happens now and then. Some of them are staying with us forever while for the rest we could expect to handle them by, not confronting them face to face, but dodging.
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发表于 2005-7-18 15:35:09 |只看该作者

改一下

Issue136
The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.

Outline:
Firstly, although technology has developed to a fantastic level where human beings are as vulnerable as before against "God's will", sometimes we would still face the embarrassment of choiceless situations.
Secondly, Other than technological problems, there are some inherent limitations about human deciding that the option is not always an option for us.
However, even if we can't make choice in some occasions, we could probably figure out solutions to prevent such accidents from happening.[提纲没看得太明白,干脆用中文写算了:)]Article:


Human, the only advanced intelligent creature in this planet, has become the master of this planet and their own destiny, as some people would proudly claim. We've conquered so many obstacles which used to stand in our way, and this process is even accelerating with science and technology on full throttle. But is it true that we have firmly taken so much control of everything that choices are always open to us? No, mortals.[mortals??什么意思,没看到这个用法,请求高见
你的观点是人们不可能总有选择]



Firstly, although technology has developed to a fantastic level where human beings are as vulnerable as before against "God's will", sometimes we would still face the embarrassment of choiceless situations. The technology we possessed  is not sophisticated and powerful enough to shield us from all the unpredictable accidents the nature or even the whole universe imposing on us. An example that would immediate pop up into everybody's mind would be the Indian Ocean Tsunami. Although we've known much about tsunami from those happened before and developed some systems to monitor and forecast the possible happening of tsunamis, this one, which was initiated from the centric area of Indian Ocean, is a sudden attack of Earth to the coastal areas that makes any response of technology helpless. Hundreds of thousands were gone or lost while even more lives in the tearing sorrow of losing families. [花这么大笔墨举一个例子,而且好想只是证明了人类的脆弱,科技并非万能,并没有说明没有选择,而是说明人类无能为力,无能为力=没有选择吗?有待商榷]For the first time in the latest decades did people feel how weak and shallow we are compared with the power of nature.

Secondly, Other than technological problems, there are some inherent limitations about human deciding that the option is not always an option for us. Human beings are emotional, fleshy and socialized animals, which also stands for three types of problems born with us: psychological, physical and social ones. As long as we still have brains, bodies and societies, these problems will always exist defying us and depriving us of chances and options. There are too many "have-to"s for the majority of us in this world: we have to eat, have to breathe, have to work for money, have to control our rage, have to obey the law. Actually, only with these uncompromising restrictions can we call us human, can we pursue the principles and the very essence of the universe.[这段写的不错,写了人类在物质、社会方面不得不做的方面]
However, even if we can't make choice in some occasions, we could probably figure out solutions to prevent such accidents from happening. This is the way we've been evolving, making our life less and less unpredictable and uncontrollable. For instance, about a month after the Indian Ocean Tsunami, experts and government officials gathered in a meeting to discuss a plan of building Global Tsunami Monitoring and Warning System, which is supposed to minimize the damage caused by any possible tsunami in the future. [这段和选择有什么关系??讲到了准备一些预防方法的重要性,扯得有点远了 ,变成我们should怎样,题目是要我们阐述一个事实及其原因]The kind of choiceless dilemma could happen to us once, but not any more.

All in all, the absence of choice is not a rare phenomenon, it happens now and then. Some of them are staying with us forever while for the rest we could expect to handle them by, not confronting them face to face, but dodging.[结尾不错]
文字功底很强,语法方面东西,没时间看了,主要看看论证思路
I am going to conquer GMAT and new TOEFL

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板凳
发表于 2005-7-18 20:01:59 |只看该作者
mortals我本来想说的是凡人们的意思,也就是说人终归是凡人,凡人就经常会没得选择

在我看来,无能为力是没有选择到了一定境界了

第三段确实是有点不职业了,没办法,打野球拳出生的
看来的确要多补充点理论知识了

多谢鞭挞和鼓励
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RE: Issue136 限时失败,很好写的题目... 发挥不正常 [修改]

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Issue136 限时失败,很好写的题目... 发挥不正常
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-301282-1-1.html
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