被scoreitnow判成五分的argument

mkb57288UID: 2105771

Score: 5

全部的点评照抄在附件里
因为加注点评用了好多颜色和划线符号，帖子里很不好调，请大家下载
感觉这个点评又有一点像在点评Issue，大家看看吧，欢迎发表意见

E-rator only identified one main idea（topic sentence） in your essay, you should try to include two or more main ideas in your essay
系统把B2和B3的首句标了出来说是main idea但还是坚持说只有一处
估计这个就是分数没有进一步提高的原因

Explanation of Score:
A 5 paper presents a generally thoughtful, well-developed critique of the argument and conveys meaning clearly.

A typical paper in this category

-- clearly identifies important features of the argument and analyzes them in a generally perceptive way
-- develops ideas clearly, organizes them logically, and connects them with appropriate transitions
-- sensibly supports the main points of the critique
-- demonstrates control of language, including appropriate word choice and sentence variety
-- demonstrates facility with the conventions of standard written English but may have minor errors

Topic:
Six months ago the region of Forestville increased the speed limit for vehicles traveling on the region's highways by ten miles per hour. Since that change took effect, the number of automobile accidents in that region has increased by 15 percent. But the speed limit in Elmsford, a region neighboring Forestville, remained unchanged, and automobile accidents declined slightly during the same six-month period. Therefore, if the citizens of Forestville want to reduce the number of automobile accidents on the region's highways, they should campaign to reduce Forestville's speed limit to what it was before the increase.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument.
Your Answer:

By overlooking other alternative explanations about the change in incidence of traffic accident, the well-organized but poorly-reasoned argument suffers from several fallacies as discussed below.

To begin with, by citing the increase in the number of accidents after the change of speed limit, the author concludes that it is a higher speed rather than other factors that contribute the increased accidents, which might not the case. In fact, drivers in Forestville are likely not to increase their speed, despite the fact that speed limit is enhanced. If all the accidents take place between cars running under original speed limit, the higher speed limit will not be the result of more accidents. Even if the drivers in Forestville did increase their speed after the change, the author fails to rule out other possible factors that influence the number accidents. It is entirely possible that more vehicles influx into the region and bring more accidents, or that the 15 percent more accidents are attribute to the unskilled adolescent drivers in this region, of more often, the abominable weather result in the extra accidents. In short, without precluding other possible factors, the author cannot claim confidently that the 15 percent more accidents are resulted from the higher speed limit.

As for the experience of Elmsford, the author also fails to convince me that the policy is well worthy copying. Just imagine that under the same speed limit, incidence of traffic accidents in Elmsford is far more than that of Forestville, or Elmsford adopts a higher speed limit than Forestville, despite the fact the latter increase its speed limit. Either scenario, if true, will severely weaken author's suggestion about reducing speed limit. Even if Elmsford uses the speed limit lower than Forestville and enjoy a smaller incidence of traffic accidents, it is still premature to claim it is the lower speed limit instead of other factors that contributes to that. Perhaps, the region maintain a higher level of police to regulate local traffic or local government offer more intensive driving training to the beginners. Both of the factors mentioned above can serve to explain the conceived lower incidence of traffic, which are overlooked by the author unfortunately.

Last but not least important, although neighboring, the two region might be of so different geographic conditions that the policy works well in Elmsford can be completely useless in Forestville. For example, the highway in Forestville may have more dangerous curves that are likely to result in accidents, while the road in Elmsford is mainly the straight and plain.

To sum up, before fully accepting the author's recommendation about reducing speed limit to original level, it is necessary to examine other alternative explanations that effect incidence of traffic accident and evaluate whether the experience of Elmsford is worthy copying.

[ Last edited by mkb57288 on 2005-9-2 at 14:38 ]

lingli_xiaoaiUID: 172506

谢谢分享。

zehuaUID: 199246

你写的？

mkb57288UID: 2105771

E-rator only identified one main idea（topic sentence） in your essay, you should try to include two or more main ideas in your essay
系统把B2和B3的首句话了出来说是main idea但还是坚持说只有一处
估计这个就是分数没有进一步提高的原因

fivefireUID: 2245344

赞赞赞赞赞赞赞赞赞v

sarahzhaiUID: 2312189

谢谢分享

billy4everUID: 2375586

这个帖子都被挖出来了，蛮有用的，赞一个！

zkdsnbzxUID: 3384070

内牛满面。。。好人

toptimesmanUID: 2959482

我觉得SCOREITNOW很不准，很2的买过好几次，有发现：
1. 评分系统不会管你写的内容：我用另外一篇文章贴在给定的题目下，照样评分5分
2. 4分和5分的差距在于字数多少：我用大概400字的文章贴上去是4分，从另外几篇题目的习作中选取，增加几个段落，就变成5分了
3. 系统不会给你6分，我用OG6分作文贴上去，是5分（当然更说明了系统肯定没有查重功能）

jjx111222UID: 2674499

toptimesman 发表于 2014-2-10 01:30
我觉得SCOREITNOW很不准，很2的买过好几次，有发现：
1. 评分系统不会管你写的内容：我用另外一篇文章贴在 ...

这能说明在真正考试的时候系统也不会对argument查重么？