topic7 大家拍拍。。逼自己逼了好久。。定回拍！

shendanlinUID: 2142838

Topic 7
Suppose when people get home after a whole day’s work,the first thing they usually do might be turn on the tv set,then sit on their sofas for a rest. Nowadays,televisions or movies have become an important part of people’s daily life. Furthermore,televions or movies as a kind of mass media influence people’s behaviors,by the great amount of informations they carry,by the rapid transmission rapidity they have,by the entertainment way they bring.Thereby,people’s behavior,even their lify styles,have been inevitably alterred by mass media like televisions or movies.

Firstly,mass media provides an abundance of imformations in a expedient way,enhanced the communications among different sorts of cultures.For instance, mass media give a approach to know different cultures.The more people understand what the culture is, the more people respect to the different cultures,and the less misunderstanding will be.As a result, mass media could be the media bwteen different cultures or religions.Therefore,with the help of mass media,people would know important issues happened in the world in a more effective and convenient way ,instead of waiting for newspapers.

Regardless of the convenient(expedient) way brings by mass media,they also fetch many deleterious effects on people’s behaviors. Just like “coach potatoes”,a fatty person sitting in coaches with pieces of potato crips in hands,a tv showing tv programs or movies in front of the person. To face this fact, a lazy life style has appearred by the influence of mass media on altering the people’s amusement way. Otherwise,the passage in the newspaper or magazine titled”Television took my husband away from me”, arose widely debats in socity.

In sum, mass media influence people’s behaviors in several aspects,some of them might be passitive effects,like enhancing the comprehension among varities of cultures and religious,making the people’s daily life convenient,others may be negative effects as longing the time spending in front of tv or movies,reducing the relationship among family members comparatively. However, considered all the occasions,we have to admit that mass media, televisions or movies ,play a role in people’s daily life as a sources of imformations,comprehensions,entertaiments,relaxations,oreven lazy.
这个不是限时的。。自己现在还没有限时的实力。。不过比第一篇的三个小时好点。。好像是一个多小时吧。。
大家帮帮吧！才开始写TWE。。作文挺白痴的！

gallianiUID: 2142648

Suppose when people get home after a whole day’s work,the first thing they usually do might be turn on the tv set,then (sit on)貌似sofa一般用in their sofas for a rest. Nowadays,televisions or movies have become an important part of people’s daily life. Furthermore,(televions or movies as a kind of mass media)最好说as a kind of mass media, TV programs... influence people’s behaviors,(by the great amount of informations they carry,by the rapid transmission rapidity they have,by the entertainment way they bring)不知道你这样说好不好，换成both by ... and ...,as well as....可能好点Thereby,people’s behavior,even their lify styles,have been inevitably alterred by mass media like televisions or movies.
开头稍有点罗嗦

Firstly,mass media provides (an abundance of imformations)abundant information in a expedient way,(enhanced)enhancing the communications among different sorts of cultures.For instance, mass media (give a approach to) give approach to固定搭配 know different cultures.The more people understand what the culture is, the more (people)they show respect to the different cultures,(and the less misunderstanding will be)不如改成resulting in less misunderstanding.As a result, mass media could be the media bwteen different cultures or religions.Therefore,with the help of mass media,people would know important issues (happened)happening in the world in a more effective and convenient way ,instead of waiting for newspapers.

Regardless of the convenient(expedient) way (brings)brought by mass media,they also (fetch)create,那个此貌似不能这样用吧 many deleterious effects on people’s behaviors. Just like “coach potatoes”,a fatty person sitting in coaches with pieces of potato crips in hands,a tv showing tv programs or movies in front of (the person)him/her. (To face this fact, a lazy life style has appearred by the influence of mass media on altering the people’s amusement way)这句不太懂唉. Otherwise,the passage in the newspaper or magazine titled”Television took my husband away from me”, arose widely debats in socity.对最后一句有必要再做些解释
还可以从电视内容上的不好入手说说，更充实

In sum, mass media influence people’s behaviors in several aspects,some of them might be passitive effects,like enhancing the comprehension among varities of cultures and religious,making the people’s daily life convenient,while others may be negative effects (as longing the )brought by excessive time spending in front of tv or movies,(reducing the relationship among family members comparatively)这句文章里面提了吗？总结段不要出现正文里没有论述过得. However, (considered)considering all the occasions,we have to admit that mass media, televisions or movies ,play a role in people’s daily life as a sources of imformations,comprehensions,entertaiments,relaxations,oreven (lazy)laziness.

思路上，tv movie的有点可以从两方面说：
1 大众媒体引导人们的价值观，影响人们的偏好，促进文化的交流等等
2 tv movie等等带给人们更多的话题，比如反映scandal类的电影引起人们对政府、学术界风气的思考，后天之类的电影引起人们环保的意识
这样可以使文章更充实

语言上，句式不错，但是ing ed之间的误用有点多

加油！

lyhcynthiaUID: 2178647

好处应该再添加些笔墨 。

zephyrsunUID: 2186291

Topic 7
Suppose when people get home after a whole day’s work,the first thing they usually do might be turn on （ING形式）the tv set（s）,then sit on their sofas for a rest. Nowadays,televisions or movies have become an important part of people’s daily life. Furthermore,televions or movies as a kind of mass media influence people’s behaviors,by the great amount of informations（信息不可数） they carry,by the rapid transmission rapidity they have,by the entertainment way（MEANS） they bring.（排比很好！）Thereby,people’s behavior（S）,even their lify styles,have been inevitably alterred by mass media like（SUCH AS） televisions or（AND） movies.

Firstly,mass media provides an abundance of imformations in a expedient way,enhanced the communications among different sorts of cultures.For instance, mass media give a approach to know（LEARN比较好，KNOW有完成了的感觉） different cultures.The more people understand what the culture is, the more people respect to the different cultures,and the less misunderstanding will be.（很好的句子）As a result, mass media could be the（a） media bwteen different cultures or religions.Therefore,with the help of mass media,people would know important issues happened（ING形式或用从句，这里用过去分词做定语是被动含义，不通顺） in the world in a more effective and convenient way ,instead of waiting for newspapers.

Regardless of the convenient(expedient) way brings by mass media,they also fetch many deleterious effects on people’s behaviors. Just like “coach potatoes”,a fatty person sitting in coaches with pieces of potato crips in hands,a tv showing tv programs or movies in front of the person. To face this fact, a lazy life style has appearred by the influence of mass media on altering the people’s amusement way. Otherwise,the passage in the newspaper or magazine titled”Television took my husband away from me”, arose widely debats in socity.

In （the） sum, mass media influence people’s behaviors in several aspects,some of them might be passitive effects,like enhancing the comprehension among varities of cultures and religious,making the people’s daily life convenient,others may be negative effects as longing the time spending （spended）in front of tv or movies,reducing the relationship among family members comparatively. However, considered all the occasions,we have to admit that mass media, televisions or movies ,play a role in people’s daily life as a sources of imformations,comprehensions,entertaiments,relaxations,oreven lazy.bbs.

楼主的各项修辞用的非常好，难怪在我的帖子里 着重 指出了句势单一的毛病。
如果能在语法上提高精准度就更好，因为楼主在现在分词和过去分词的使用方面存在一些问题。

其实我觉得我觉得我们挺互补的，以后多交流。
我的MSN：zephyrsun1982@hotmail.com

shendanlinUID: 2142838

zephyrsun ,galliani 还有猫斑！
感谢哈！
我已经改在作文本上面了哈！时间所限，，不能打在电脑上了！
接受意见！！继续加油！
谢谢啦！