ARGUMENT239 有拍必回，留链，马上考试了

hxwgterUID：2113533

"When the neighboring town of Williamsville adopted a curfew four months ago that made it illegal for persons under the age of 18 to loiter or idle in public places after 10 p.m., youth crime in Williamsville dropped by 27 percent during curfew hours. In Williamsville's town square, the area where its citizens were once most outraged at the high crime rate, not a single crime has been reported since the curfew was introduced. Therefore, to help reduce its own rising crime rate, the town of Dalton should adopt the same kind of curfew. A curfew that keeps young people at home late at night will surely control juvenile delinquency and protect minors from becoming victims of crime."

提纲：
1．        应不应该引进curfew的前提是宵禁对于减少犯罪率的有效性
2．        作者引用的证据不能证明宵禁的有效性，例如只用4个月的在W城镇的实践，时间太短没有说服力，还有只说明10点中以后的情况，且只是减少27％，这样完全有可能其她时间犯罪率反而高因为宵禁压制了人的自由
3．        作者没有证明W和D有可比性

It seems tempting to agree with the author's argument that the town of Dalton should adopt the curfew to help reduce its own rising crime rate based on the fact that the crime rate in Williamsville has been reduced by curfew. However, after close scrutiny, the statement is unpersuasive in the following aspects.

To begin with, whether the author's suggestion is beneficial to reduce the crime rate in Dalton depends on the effectiveness of curfew the effect on reducing crime rate. In order to prove this effect, the author cites the example of curfew on reducing crime rate in Williamsville just for four months, which is a relative short time to prove the effect of curfew. Moreover, the author provides no evidence to explain why the young crime rate just dropped by 27 percent but not a large percent only after 10 p.m. rather than other hours. It is entirely possible that crime rate before 10 p.m. will dramatically increase since the adoption of curfew. It is likely curfew that seriously results in more crime because to some extent, it presses the freedom if young people so that they become more outraged or rebellious to deliberately committed crime before curfew. Moreover, it is not unreasonable to argue the effect of curfew just based on the 4-month study, which seems a relative short time to prove the effect of curfew.

Moreover, the author makes a false analogy between the town of Dalton and Williamsville. Even though the curfew is effective to reduce the crime rate in Williamsville, it is entirely possible ineffective for Dalton because there is no evidence to prove that the crime rate in Dalton is mainly caused by the young people under the age of 18. Dalton may be an area centered with more colleges and universities where the population is largely the well-educated students so that the crime rate is somewhat relative slow. Therefore, the curfew is not likely to have little effect on reducing crime rate.

To sum up, in order to suggest the adoption of curfew, the author should provide more information to prove the effect of curfew on reducing crime rate in Williamsville. Moreover, the author should prove that the local conditions in both towns are the same, especially the cause of crime rate so that the crime rate in Dalton will be reduced after curfew.

marklsUID：154364

"When the neighboring town of Williamsville adopted a curfew four months ago that made it illegal for persons under the age of 18 to loiter or idle in public places after 10 p.m., youth crime in Williamsville dropped by 27 percent during curfew hours. In Williamsville's town square, the area where its citizens were once most outraged at the high crime rate, not a single crime has been reported since the curfew was introduced. Therefore, to help reduce its own rising crime rate, the town of Dalton should adopt the same kind of curfew. A curfew that keeps young people at home late at night will surely control juvenile delinquency and protect minors from becoming victims of crime."

提纲：
1．        应不应该引进curfew的前提是宵禁对于减少犯罪率的有效性
2．        作者引用的证据不能证明宵禁的有效性，例如只用4个月的在W城镇的实践，时间太短没有说服力，还有只说明10点中以后的情况，且只是减少27％，这样完全有可能其她时间犯罪率反而高因为宵禁压制了人的自由
3．        作者没有证明W和D有可比性

It seems tempting to agree with the author's argument that the town of Dalton should adopt the curfew to help reduce its own rising crime rate based on the fact that the crime rate in Williamsville has been reduced by curfew. However, after close scrutiny, the statement is unpersuasive in the following aspects.

To begin with, whether the author's suggestion is beneficial to reduce the crime rate in Dalton depends on the effectiveness of curfew the effect on reducing (好像有点别扭,不如说成是depends on the effects of curfew to reduce the crime rate)crime rate. In order to prove this effect, the author cites the example of curfew on reducing crime rate (说得有点罗嗦)in Williamsville just for four months, which is a relative (relatively?)short time to prove the effect of curfew. Moreover, the author provides no evidence to explain why the young crime rate just dropped by 27 percent but not a large percent only after 10 p.m. rather than other hours. It is entirely possible that crime rate before 10 p.m. will dramatically increase since the adoption of curfew. It is likely curfew that seriously results in more crime because to some extent, it presses the freedom if young people so that they become more outraged or rebellious to deliberately committed crime before curfew. Moreover, it is not (去掉not)unreasonable to argue the effect of curfew just based on the 4-month study, which seems a relative (同上) short time to prove the effect of curfew. (感觉长句结构有些别扭)

Moreover, the author makes a false analogy between the town of Dalton and Williamsville. Even though the curfew is effective to reduce the crime rate in Williamsville, it is entirely possible ineffective for Dalton because there is no evidence to prove that the crime rate in Dalton is mainly caused by the young people under the age of 18. Dalton may be an area centered with more colleges and universities where the population is largely the well-educated students so that the crime rate is somewhat relative slow. Therefore, the curfew is not likely to have little effect on reducing crime rate. (怎么又是双重否定,去掉一重吧)

To sum up, in order to suggest the adoption of curfew, the author should provide more information to prove the effect of curfew on reducing crime rate in Williamsville. Moreover, the author should prove (和上一句重复了,不如改成and 连接分一个分句)that the local conditions in both towns are the same, especially the cause of crime rate so that the crime rate in Dalton will be reduced after curfew.

错误挑的都没问题,建议把第一个段落分成两个, 把整个Body部分展成三段.
这是我的issue;欢迎指教,谢谢
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