Argument37 同主题 有拍必回 （w3）

zhihengUID: 190545

Argument37  N0. 1 Best Wishes!! Good Luck!!
------Abstract------
Author: Great GRE Writer     Total time: 75Mins  39Secs     506 words
From  2005--7--9    20H:16Minute  
To    2005--7--9    21H:31Minute  
------Topic------
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been unique to the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could only have crossed it by boat, but there is no evidence that the Paleans had boats. And boats capable of carrying groups of people and cargo were not developed until thousands of years after the Palean people disappeared. Moreover, Paleans would have had no need to cross the river—the woods around Palea are full of nuts, berries, and small game. It follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not unique to Palea.
------Syllabus------
1.        Brim River可能起不到阻止的作用，因为他可能在Paleans出现之前还没形成，或在Paleans灭绝以前就改道或消失了
2.        可能有其它原因促使Paleans到对岸去。例如爱情，战争
3.        即使Paleans从没带baskets到对岸去，但也并不排除几千年后另外的人把baskets从Palea带到Litho
------Text------
In this argument, the arguer concludes that the 'Palean' basket is not unique to Palea, though the basket of this pattern has merely found in the prehistoric village of Palea before. To substitute the conclusion, the arguer cites the fact that the same pattern baskets were found in Lithos. Furthermore, the arguer allege that the baskets were not from Palea, because there was a deep and broad river which prevent ancient Paleans from crossing it as no boats were available at that time and ancient Paleans didn't have to cross the river, as there was enough food around them. At the first glance, this argument seems tenable and reasonable; nevertheless, some careful examination reveals several severe logical flaws in it.

First of all, the argument relies on a dubious assumption that the ancient Paleans have not been to Lithos, because of the Brim River, a very deep and broad river. As we all know that every river in the earth has its birth and death, maybe the ancient Paleans appeared before the Brim River formed. Similarly, the Brim River might change its way or disappear before the ancient Paleans extinct.  In either case mentioned above, the baskets of the distinctive pattern could be delivered to Litho. So without knowing when the Brim River appeared and disappeared, the arguer can not asserts that the ancient Paleans couldn't go to Lithos.

Secondly, the arguer made a hasty generation that ancient Paleans had no need to cross the river merely because there was enough food around them. Maybe the ancient didn't have so many spirit pursuits as the people in modern times, but they also had other personal or social affairs besides avoid starving. For instance, romance, a man in village of Palea might fall in love with a girl in Lithos and wanted to marry her. Moreover, when there were conflicts, or even wars between people in Palea and Lithos, they certainly wanted to cross the river and maybe take the distinctive baskets with them. In short, the arguer fails to consider the possibilities that compel the people to cross the river and make an unconvincing conclusion.

Even if the ancient Paleans didn't cross the Brim River and go to Lithos, the arguer also fails to consider and rule out the possibility that other people might take the unique baskets from Palea to Lithos. It might be true that the Brim River appeared before the ancient Paleans and disappeared after them, and could not be overcrossed. However, after thousands years when cargo were developed, some other people may go to Palea and take the baskets back to Lithos, though the ancient Paleans have all died. As a result, if the arguer persist his or her conclusion, more evidence are needed to guarantee that no other people take the particular baskets to other palaces.

The argument is not as reasonable as it stands. If the arguer wants to convince us, he or she must prove that the Brim River exited longer than the ancient Paleans did. Furthermore, more information and evidence are needed to show that the ancient Paleans really had no need to go to Lithos and no other people take the special baskets from Palea to Lithos afterwards.

[ Last edited by zhiheng on 2005-7-9 at 22:30 ]

lucidlucyUID: 191669

nice~~~

zhihengUID: 190545

呵呵 多谢lucidlucy
给与了我很大的鼓励

lingli_xiaoaiUID: 172506

开头有点太三八了,多,浪费时间,对分数贡献不大,两句话搞定开头,不用RESTATE题目.
详见IMONG的文章,我就不多少了.

后面的很不错,已经上轨道了,保持,多练习,熟悉题库,好好准备ISSUE

zhihengUID: 190545

多谢lingli_xiaoai指点
我自己也觉得开头是写的有点像裹脚布了:L

还要多多努力:victory:

archerwzyUID: 2111564

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the 'Palean' basket is not unique to Palea, though the basket of this pattern has merely found in the prehistoric village of Palea before. To substitute the conclusion,取代??? the arguer cites the fact that the same pattern baskets were found in Lithos. Furthermore, the arguer allege that the baskets were not from Palea, because there was a deep and broad river which prevent ancient Paleans from crossing it as no boats were available at that time and ancient Paleans didn't have to cross the river, as there was enough food around them. At the first glance, this argument seems tenable and reasonable; nevertheless, some careful examination reveals several severe logical flaws in it.开头太长,繁冗,看起来比较不爽,只要简单概括一下就可以了吧
First of all, the argument relies on a dubious assumption that the ancient Paleans have not been to Lithos, because of the Brim River, a very deep and broad river.(是不是应该说为什么这个大河导致了) As we all know that every river in the earth has its birth and death, maybe the ancient Paleans appeared before the Brim River formed. Similarly, the Brim River might change its way or disappear before the ancient Paleans extinct.  In either case mentioned above, the baskets of the distinctive pattern could be delivered to Litho. So without knowing when the Brim River appeared and disappeared, the arguer can not asserts that the ancient Paleans couldn't go to Lithos.我认为这个结尾应该说没有关于brim river的 prehistory information, arguer 就的出结论,是错误的,我认为这样好一些,一家之间
Secondly, the arguer made a hasty generation(conclusions)that ancient Paleans had no need to cross the river merely because there was enough food around them. Maybe the ancient didn't have so many spiritual不要用名次形式
pursuits as the people in modern times, but they also had other personal or social affairs besides avoid starving. For instance, romance, a man in village of Palea might fall in love with a girl in Lithos and wanted to marry her. Moreover, when there were conflicts, or even wars between people in Palea and Lithos, they certainly wanted to cross the river and maybe take the distinctive baskets with them. In short, the arguer fails to consider the possibilities that compel the people to cross the river and make an unconvincing conclusion.

Even if the ancient Paleans didn't cross the Brim River and go to Lithos, the arguer also fails to consider and rule out the possibility that other people might take the unique baskets from Palea to Lithos. It might be true that the Brim River appeared before the ancient Paleans and disappeared after them, and could not be overcrossed. However, after thousands years when cargo were developed, some other people may go to Palea and take the baskets back to Lithos, though the ancient Paleans have all died. As a result, if the arguer persist his or her conclusion, more evidence are needed to guarantee that no other people take the particular baskets to other palaces.(这点我没有想到,不错)

The argument is not as reasonable as it stands. If the arguer wants to convince us, he or she must prove that the Brim River exited longer than the ancient Paleans did. Furthermore, more information and evidence are needed to show that the ancient Paleans really had no need to go to Lithos and no other people take the special baskets from Palea to Lithos afterwards.
纵观全文,楼主的argument还是有见地的,只是有些例子比较夸张比如说romance等等,开头没有些好,还需改进


https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=299145&extra=page%3D1楼主给扔块砖吧

zhihengUID: 190545

Thanks to archerwzy, Strongly!
:handshake
中午吃完饭 回来就去拜读您的大作:lol