Issue48 折磨啊!!!!砸必回!!!

fishtutuUID: 199884

Issue48  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分4秒     583 words
从2005年6月18日15时57分到2005年6月18日16时45分
------题目------
The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.
------正文------
Do we place too much on the celebrities when we study history? Have we ignored the function of common people that propel the most significant events in history? The author contends the claim that we have prejudice when we judge the historical figures, say, we emphasize too much on individuals. However, I am partially agree with this claim. In my opinion, we should learn about the reason that we focus on individuals rather than groups of people before we make this conclusion.

First of all, most celebrities who have been put in front of the groups of people are caused by special circumstance. The most obvious evidence to support this opinion could be found in the political fields where we often focus on leaders rather than common members who are the core that make the significant events and trends. Why do we emphasize on individuals? It is because the individuals could represent the groups of people in political fields. And actually it is quite hard and even impossible for histories to focus on millions of common people, because of the limited energy and limited access to get enough information. On the one hand, it is easier to get message about the celebrities, which often show in the news paper and the video broadcast. For instance, in the world war two those who frequently show in the media are the leaders like Churchill and Franklin Roosevelt, it is not history emphasizes too much on them, it is because of their role in that special circumstance. Leaders have the responsibility to lead their people to fight against their foes. On the hand, it is impossible for media and history to focus on the groups of people, who may actually create the marvelous events and trends, simply because it is technologically hard to describe them one by one, although histories may have the will to focus on them. In a word, it is the circumstances that create the celebrities rather than the study of history emphasize too much on them.

In addition, it is reasonable to focus on individuals in some realm because individuals could change the trends of history. Individuals' roles in many fields include politics, science, literature should not be ignored, because like catalyst they accelerate the pace of history and promote the development of society. In the military history, we have learned that Alexander the great change the face of Europe, Peter the great open a new era for Russia, and Napoleon promulgate the ideology of civilization all over the Europe. These great generals changed and created the history. In the history of science, we learn that Einstein invent the first atom bomb which stop world war two, Henry Ford create the first assembly line start a new industrial era, and Bill Gates' Windows operating system lead us into a info-technological world. They use their wisdom to create miracle, without them it is hard for groups of people to do such things given the circumstance. In the fields of literature, Shakespeare the genius whose works endure the masses’ test for thousand years, and Homer who collect groups of people's effort and leave us valuable culture treasure. It is individual who create the spirit food for us and deserve for emphasizing since their name inspire many generations of people.

In sum, In my opinion study of history do not place too much emphasis on individuals, it is because of individual's function, which may be a representative one or a necessary one, in the significant events and trends that history focus on them.

禾日因心UID: 174510

Issue48  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分4秒     583 words
从2005年6月18日15时57分到2005年6月18日16时45分
------题目------
The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.
------正文------
Do we place too much on the celebrities when we study history? Have we ignored the function of common people that propel the most significant events in history? The author contends the claim that we have prejudice when we judge the historical figures, say, we emphasize too much on individuals. However, I am partially agree with this claim. In my opinion, we should learn about the reason that we focus on individuals rather than groups of people before we make this conclusion.

First of all, most celebrities who have been put in front of the groups of people are caused by special circumstance. The most obvious evidence to support this opinion could be found in the political fields where we often focus on leaders rather than common members who are the core that make the significant events and trends. Why do we emphasize on individuals? It is because the individuals could represent the groups of people in political fields. And actually it is quite hard and even impossible for histories to focus on millions of common people, because of the limited energy and limited access to get enough information.这小段总括的太多了，显的后面铺开的论述很罗嗦，最好把这部分直接分到下面的两个方面的论述中去，分做两个方面的TS，文章的结构就简洁多了 On the one hand, it is easier to get message about the celebrities, which often show in the news paper and the video broadcast. For instance, in the world war two those who frequently show in the media are the leaders like Churchill and Franklin Roosevelt, it is not history emphasizes too much on them, it is because of their role in that special circumstance. Leaders have the responsibility to lead their people to fight against their foes. On the other hand, it is impossible for media and history to focus on the groups of people, who may actually create the marvelous events and trends, simply because it is technologically hard to describe them one by one, although histories may have the will to focus on them. In a word, it is the circumstances that create the celebrities rather than the study of history emphasize too much on them.

In addition, it is reasonable to focus on individuals in some realm because individuals could change the trends of history. Individuals' roles in many fields include politics, science, literature should not be ignored, because like catalyst they accelerate the pace of history and promote the development of society. In the military history, we have learned that Alexander the great change the face of Europe, Peter the great open a new era for Russia, and Napoleon promulgate the ideology of civilization all over the Europe. These great generals changed and created the history. In the history of science, we learn that Einstein invent the first atom bomb which stop world war two, Henry Ford create the first assembly line start a new industrial era, and Bill Gates' Windows operating system lead us into a info-technological world. They use their wisdom to create miracle, without them it is hard for groups of people to do such things given the circumstance. In the fields of literature, Shakespeare the genius whose works endure the masses’ test for thousand years, and Homer who collect groups of people's effort and leave us valuable culture treasure. It is individual who create the spirit food for us and deserve for emphasizing since their name inspire many generations of people.这段写的好呀，很有说服力

另外楼主在文章开头点到是partially agree with this claim，可agree的部分怎么不见了:L
In sum, In my opinion study of history do not place too much emphasis on individuals, it is because of individual's function, which may be a representative one or a necessary one, in the significant events and trends that history focus on them.这个结尾看来要作为AGREE的部分来写了，否者和开头的we focus on individuals rather than groups of people怎么也不互相照应，毕竟重要的2，3段都在论证名人的重要性最好换个结尾