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Argument76------The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.
"A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin."
A.那些志愿者是否有足够的代表性?
B.提到的科学研究是如何进行的?数据是如何处理的?权威度和可信度如何?
C.试验结果质疑。 (Most? marked improvement ? looked and felt?
结论:论者的描述非常不科学,缺乏说服力。要增加说服力,还需要进一步提供有关这次试验的资料
8:00pm----------9:20pm
According to the author, the new Luxess face cream is effective in improving the condition of facial skin. In order to support this assertion, the author cites a study in which most of the volunteers have a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Careful scrutiny of the study reveals numerous problems that render the author’s assertion untenable.
One problem of this argument is whether the group of volunteers can represent the average. In order to make the study believable, the sample must have sufficient number and must do randomly across the entire population spectrum. For instance, if the selected volunteers are all youths, who have strong power of metabolism to recover their skins, and especially those who don not take care of skins in the past, the result of the study is useless. In addition, for the study is to evaluate the efficient efficiencyof face cream, the sample selected should have special requirement as the average condition of their face skin should generally equal to the average condition of the population of Luxess objective. Without these, the sample is less representative. Moreover, on the ground of that the study is build on the sample, the result of the study is meaningless if the sample is null.
Another problem is related to the study itself. How the study takes? By what method? How it use the group of volunteers? Is the study approved by authorities and believable? Many doubts come out attribute to the author refers nothing about the details of the study这句话谓语动词很多啊,注意语法. Without any authorities’ identification, the study cannot hold its groundground 这个词语出现很多次,换个, because the corporation can deceive the consumer by the study in order to improve its profit. There are many other possibilities can lead to the result. Perhaps, during this months they pay more attention protect their skins, like go to bed earlier and reduce the time in front of computer. Or perhaps, they stay in a place the condition is better. Another one that can weak the reliability is the length of the study. The commonsense told us that to prove a cosmetics effect, one month is not enough, for most of cosmetics are chemistry that may have effects during a long time. And the study did not get rid of the effect of the mild soap. It maybe the soap that improved the skin. From the study, we have no idea of whether this face cream can last long effect or do harm to our skin.
The result of the study is also unbelievable because the improvement that happened is just the feeling by the volunteers, not through any examinations. The better feeling may cause by the volunteers’ mental effect but not by the effect of the cream. Without any authoritative examination, the author cannot come to the conclusion that it is the Luxess face cream that makes the improvement. There are many other small problems in the author’s assertion. Like how much percentage dose most volunteers take up of the group? And what exactly the marked improvement is?
In sum, the author’s argument is not scientific and lack of persuasiveness. To make the argument more believable based on the study, the author should give the details of the study, show out the representative of the sample, and give the authorities’ approve of study reliable.
用词方面还要加强,这也是我一直在努力的~~~加油~~~~
这篇文章我今天才要写,因此不能给你很具体的建议,还望海涵~~~ |
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