issue136

guesser198414UID: 2106027

Is absence of choice a circumstance that is very rare? I think it depends, it depends on different attitude towards problems one encounters, to deeper extent, it depends on whether he/she has the will to solve the problem.
    Firm wills to get rid of difficulties can give one positive attitude towards difficulties. Look back at the outstanding leaders in history, who have initiated historic events and played leading role through the whole events. They must have encountered more and much more difficult problems in their life time than the ordinary people have done. But all the outstanding leaders have common ground that they both have great targets and the firm will to achieve them. They had never been threaten by difficulties and they had overcome problems one after another to achieve their great targets. Take Abraham Lincoln as example, a great president and politician in America, he has successfully led the American Civil War and liberated slaveries in America. At the beginning of war, fights against the South, which is his enemy, were not successful and they were often defeated by the army of the South. However, Abraham Lincoln had never been hopeless about his will to collapse the slavery and achieve union in the whole America. After years of unremitted efforts, they won the final success.
    People who have weak wills lack vehement desires to solve the problems and always perform passively, that is why they are often defeated by problems they encounter. The absence of choice is not rare for the people who often feel hopeless in front of difficulties. When they meet problems, they often regard these problems to be too difficult for them to solve, so they won't positively think of methods to get rid of them but they often wait for other's help or some miracles to happen. If nobody else can help him/her or there is no miracle they feel hopeless. A case in point is the suicides, who think of life to be hopeless because of the countless troubles. However, if they have more firm wills to get rid of these troubles and can act more positively, life will not be too hard.
    As ordinary ones, we may lack wills as firm as that of the outstanding leaders, but we should practice to be as positive as possible to confront problems in our lives. We should avoid the circumstance that there is no choice by bravely receive challenges of difficulties. Our wills will be strengthened and our self-confidence will be cemented by solving problems one after another. May be one day we will be as outstanding as the famous figures in history.
    In summary, there is a will there is choices, different people will show different attitude in front of difficulties. People have firm will may seldom find no choice, vice versa. Never give up easily, never be afraid of difficulties, never say "I have no choice", if you can't defeat difficulties, you will be defeated.

guesser198414UID: 2106027

能不能有人给看一看，指出点问题
字数写得少了点

hwyireneUID: 200039

People who have weak wills lack vehement desires to solve the problems and always perform passively, that is why they are often defeated by problems they encounter. The absence of choice is not rare for the people who often feel hopeless in front of difficulties. (improper here　这句话放在这里不妥，是支持前一个论点的，显得杂乱并且打乱了本论点的论证)When they meet problems, they often regard these problems to be[/u](useless) too difficult for them to solve, so they won't positively think of methods to get rid of them but they often wait for other's help or some miracles to happen. If nobody else can help him/her or there is no miracle they feel hopeless. A case in point is the suicides, who think of life to be hopeless because of the countless troubles.（定义下得宽泛而简单， However, if they have more firm wills to get rid of these troubles and can act more positively, life will not be too hard.

Is absence of choice a circumstance that is very rare? I think it depends, it depends on different attitude towards problems one encounters, to deeper extent, it depends on whether he/she has the will to solve the problem.

最大的问题在于犯了argu的错误，即把问题oversimplify了。你的观点是由于缺乏意志和面对问题的勇气，因此感觉自己走投无路，而只要有了firm will就OK了。如果还是按照你的思路写，那么比如，任何事情都只有一往无前吗；个人的能力是否足以解决；仅仅是因为缺乏意志才导致走投无路吗；选择的权利与个人，社会，历史条件等等都有关系，还有一些不多罗列了，不妨根据自己的经历和知识储备再作一些深入思考。
此外还有一点建议，语言上多下点功夫，有点Chinglish，还可以更简炼一些。

上面的一些小建议，希望大家多批评

guesser198414UID: 2106027

写的时候就没感觉，思路太狭隘；语言上确实也是非常糟糕
连审题加理思路然后把它写出来用了50分钟，对我来说还太仓促
这两天会把它重写出来的。
我认为只要观点能够自圆其说，不需要面面具到，篇幅太长而且重点不明确
如果用argument的态度来对待自己的文章，那所有的文章都漏洞百出

尽管不完全同意，仍然非常感谢你的宝贵意见