issue136 今天第一天准备作文，请大家批评。

hilucyUID：209731

136."The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
提纲:
1.  Show出自己的观点，日益丰富的物质资料和多元化的社会环境，让我们拥有很多的选择Though….very very rare 的情况没有选择。At least这种情况你可以选择接受或不接受.
2.  针对个人问题来说，选择无处不在同时也有多种选择可选，没有选择的情况少之又少
3．针对社会问题同样有很多选择，同时选择很重要。
4，无论对社会还是个人，虽然可以选择，但要把握好方向。
5，点题，丰富多彩的生活需要源自不同的选择，这是一个处处充满选择的星球。
自己都不好意思了，呵呵，实在是不到4级的水平，希望大家指点。第一词写，感觉一句话都说不好啊。但是我会努力的:$
     Our society is becoming more and more abundant in material and colorful in cultures increasingly.  Everyone can do choice in almost every aspect. I fundamentally agree with the point that “The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare. ”.  It is choice that makes our life so interesting, our society so rich.  Although more and more youngling complain that they have no choice but to work day after day dryly, actually they can choose to change a job or at least they can choose to change their mind, right?
      Of course we have no choice in some circumstance that is very ,very rare . For example, we can’t choose the most attractive belle, But we can choose the girl we love; we can not choose the millionaire father , however we can choose the happy family ; neither we can choose to be as handsome as Tom Cruise , we can  choose  to live happily as any movie star, even much more happily. we have so many choice in the  era , even when we are to young to speak, we made our choose to smile or cry; after we grown up , We choose the clothes ,the schoolbag and then the movie , the friends and so forth. Together with these cases demonstrate that as young people We are so lucky and we can make our choose.
        Our society can make choice too and it always does. The USA chooses to be independent two hundreds years ago , now she become the most democratic and strongest country; my mother country ，china chooses to be independent and now she is becoming more and more beautiful and rich. Our society can make choice and they have to choose ,peace or war, rich or poor, clear or pollution , close or communication and so on. What tomorrow will be , let’s make a good choice together.
      :$Choice is every where, and both angel and ghost it is. The people should make a moral choice as wisely as girls choose beautiful clothes especially the young people. Now more and more young people transgress because they make a bad choice. Still there are so many refugees, wars and diseases, our society should make wise choose too. So though choose lies in anywhere, it’s not so easy to make good one.
     In a word, choice make our lift so colorful, choice make our society so thriving and prosperous, choice lives everywhere, however both the people and the society have to pay attention to the making choice’s method to leading us to much more happy life and more harmony society.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-29 at 13:01 ]

d_messiahUID：177468

太谦虚了，我脸大，帮你看看吧

     Our society is becoming more and more abundant in material and colorful in cultures increasingly.  Everyone can do choice in almost every aspect. I fundamentally agree with the point that “The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare. ”.  It is choice that makes our life so interesting, our society so rich.  Although more and more youngling complain that they have no choice but to work day after day dryly, actually they can choose to change a job or at least they can choose to change their mind, right?
      Of course we have no choice in some circumstance that is very ,very rare . For example, we can’t choose the most attractive belle, But we can choose the girl we love; we can not choose the millionaire father , however we can choose the happy family ; neither we can choose to be as handsome as Tom Cruise其实一直用下去一个句式，形成一个排比不错的 , we can  choose  to live happily as any movie star, even much more happily. we have so many choice in the  era , even when we are to young to speak, we made our choose to smile or cry; after we grown up , We choose the clothes ,the schoolbag and then the movie , the friends and so forth. Together with these cases demonstrate that as young people We are so lucky and we can make our choose.这段话，是不是和你的TS有些矛盾，可以放到后面去      

       Our society can make choice too and it always does. The USA chooses to be independent two hundreds years ago , now she become the most democratic and strongest country; my mother country ，china chooses to be independent and now she is becoming more and more beautiful and rich. Our society can make choice and they have to choose ,peace or war, rich or poor, clear or pollution , close or communication and so on. What tomorrow will be , let’s喊口号吗？ make a good choice together.

      Choice is every where, and both angel and ghost it is. The people should make a moral choice as wisely as girls choose beautiful clothes especially the young people. Now more and more young people transgress because they make a bad choice. Still there are so many refugees, wars and diseases, our society should make wise choose too. So though choose lies in anywhere, it’s not so easy to make good one.

     In a word, choice make our lift so colorful, choice make our society so thriving and prosperous, choice lives everywhere, however both the people and the society have to pay attention to the making choice’s method to leading us to much more happy life and more harmony society.


总结一下吧，这道题目，你之所以选他作为第一道题，一定是以为他简单吧？我觉得这道题不是那么简单的，就怕写成罗列选择。对于这道题，应该挖掘其中的内涵。它体现出一个人和周围的有时候的不可调和性，人做为社会的组成部分，不可避免的受到种种社会因素的影响，这之间的分歧就造成了题目观点的反面，有时人的选择余地很少，甚至说没有。
如果只罗列说选择多多，狂举一堆选择出来，似乎没有什么深度
关于你的最后一个BODY，我觉得有些走，题目在讨论选择的存在问题，至于好坏，似乎有些偏
另外，注意每个BODY尽量一个主题，你看看你的B1？
第一天准备，欢迎你加入我们的队伍，大家共同努力

hilucyUID：209731

Thanks for your advice d_messiah, you are the first people write back to me. so kind you are  and you are greatly appreciated.  Actually, you give me courage.
I was in bad mood when i wrote this article the day before yesterday since I’m worried about that no enough time for me to prepare for the GRE, incidentally, I'm a postgraduate. i have to go to my teacher's company , coincidently just like the issue i chose to discuss, i have no choice like so many other postgraduate students. it's a common societal phenomena in recent China.
Yesterday , I said goodbye to the company , maybe worse say goodbye to   with my master's degree together. i have no choice.

i know that i really don't have enough time . i have to study the new words , i even have not read any GRE arcticle. only spirit and volition i have , besides, so many enthusiastic people who i never meet  ,who i should call brother. i can do it.

i told my girlfriend yesterday that , form now on ,i speak in english ,listen english song,see english movie ,think in english ,even when i sleep,walk,sport, english with me.i love english . she surports me ,always.

i didn't choose this "issue" as my first article of GRE but he chooses me, i mean i didn't take it lightly when i wrote. i have tried my best to find even one complete sentence, however , ,,,just as you see.

let's get to  business, i think insightful, in-depth analysis of complex ideas is the fundamental requirement , while in my article i can hardly find any.

take heart,me
Thanks again d_messiah

[ Last edited by hilucy on 2005-7-29 at 17:02 ]