argument9 七月高频 家里停了两天电，今天写都有点生疏了。谢谢砖头。

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

Argument9        
------题目------
The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.
'Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors.'

In the memorandum, the dean of an Omega University recommends that that Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors enable graduated secure better jobs. The author cites many evidence: (1)overall student grade averages’ rising up attributed to the evaluation of professors;(2)and it make the employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated;(3)that is why the graduates cannot find better jobs. Close scrutiny of these evidence, however, none of them can lend strong support to the conclusion.

To begin with, the author rely overall student grade averages' rising up on the evaluation of professors is groundless. There are many other possibilities that can account for the risen, such as the improvements in teaching system and methods, improvements in the students’ abilities, changes in the system of marking, and so on. And the statistic, thirty percent, makes no sense to the recommendation for the author doses not give out which year it compared with. Especially, if it is based on the grades15 years ago, then 30 percent have nothing to do with the conclusion. Because improvements during 15 years are too huge to figure out, besides the improvements in science, economy, teaching, the people themselves are changing over time. Children now have higher IQ than before, and have better environment of study. Therefore, the evidence is useless to support the recommendation.

Then the author too subjectively and biased to infer that the employers will believe the grades at Omega are inflated. First, the author is not the employer, and there is no survey or statistics to establish this assumption. Second, the author cites that the graduates from nearby Alpha University can get better jobs because those employers believe the grades at their school are not inflated. However, the author does not tell us whether there is also a evaluation of professors in Alpha University, or their grades are lower than Omega, or their percentage of job finding is higher than Omega， and so on. Without clear evidence, the recommendation is unconvincing.


Finally, the author conclude that in order to enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors. But the author does not make any definition of what is better job. Dose it means higher salaries, the vocation that can better present personal merit, or the job that can match their majorities?  Maybe, the Alpha University is not a very good university and the students there fit many easy and normal jobs which can be found easier. It is entirely possible that the graduates in Omega choose further study and give up good jobs. Or perhaps, the graduates in Omega choose the vocation that can better present personal merit rather than higher salaries if better jobs based on salary. Or, because of the depression of economy, it is more difficult to find job that can better match the Omega graduates’ majority. The above-mentioned possibilities, if true, will render the author's conclusion unconvincing.

To sum up, evaluation of professors are irrelevant with graduates to secure better jobs unless the dean can show out clear evidence. Such as the grades risen up are due to the evaluation, and the explorers regard the grades are inflated and reduce employ graduates in Omega.

写得太慢了，超时了。贴联接一定回拍。

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-31 at 15:36 ]

d_messiahUID: 177468

In the memorandum, the dean of an Omega University recommends that that Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors enable graduated secure better jobs. The author cites many evidence: (1)overall student grade averages’ rising up attributed to the evaluation of professors;(2)and it make the employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated;(3)that is why the graduates cannot find better jobs.如果写的慢这些是否非要写呢？？？ Close scrutiny of these evidence, however, none of them can lend strong support to the conclusion.

To begin with, the author rely overall student grade averages' rising up on the evaluation of professors is groundless.我没找到这句话的主语，或者说我怎么感觉有两个谓语啊 There are many other possibilities that can account for the risen, such as the improvements in teaching system and methods, improvements in the students’ abilities, changes in the system of marking, and so on. And the statistic, thirty percent, makes no sense to the recommendation for the author doses not give out which year it compared with. Especially, if it is based on the grades15 years ago, then 30 percent have nothing to do with the conclusion. Because improvements during 15 years are too huge to figure out, besides the improvements in science, economy, teaching, the people themselves are changing over time. Children now have higher IQ than before, and have better environment of study. Therefore, the evidence is useless to support the recommendation.这段 论证的很充分，很漂亮的说

Then the author too subjectively and biased to？ infer that the employers will believe the grades at Omega are inflated. First, the author is not the employer, and there is no survey or statistics to establish this assumption. Second, the author cites that the graduates from nearby Alpha University can get better jobs because those employers believe the grades at their school are not inflated. However, the author does not tell us whether there is also a evaluation of professors in Alpha University, or their grades are lower than Omega, or their percentage of job finding is higher than Omega， and so on. Without clear evidence, the recommendation is unconvincing. 我喜欢你的论证，很充分


Finally, the author conclude建议好些，你觉得呢？ that in order to enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors. But the author does not make any definition of what is better job. Dose it means higher salaries, the vocation that can better present personal merit, or the job that can match their majorities?  Maybe, the Alpha University is not a very good university and the students there fit many easy and normal jobs which can be found easier. It is entirely possible that the graduates in Omega choose further study and give up good jobs. Or perhaps, the graduates in Omega choose the vocation that can better present personal merit rather than higher salaries if better jobs based on salary. Or, because of the depression of economy, it is more difficult to find job that can better match the Omega graduates’ majority. The above-mentioned possibilities, if true, will render the author's conclusion unconvincing.还是很充分的论证

To sum up, evaluation of professors are irrelevant with graduates to secure better jobs unless the dean can show out clear evidence. Such as the grades risen up are due to the evaluation, and the explorers regard the grades are inflated and reduce employ graduates in Omega.全篇文章都论证的很充分，羡慕ing

我最近没有写什么，你以后看到这id发帖子，记得给回就好了

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

好的 没问题！！

d_messiahUID: 177468

说定了，给你个建议，你的BODY能处理的这么好，如果时间紧张，真的没有必要把开头写成新东方那种样式的

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

关于开头那几个要点，如果时间短就不要写，个人觉得先不要写，如果写完后，发现还有时间而字数又不太够，再加上去。
又犯了个语法错误，。。the author's recommendation relying overall student grade averages' rising up on the evaluation of professors is groundless
too~~~to  结构，不对吗？

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

那个是新东方的开头？？偶不清楚哈。我只是在北美的范文上看过。建议上面说了。慎用啊~~呵呵

chan1983UID: 166440

In the memorandum, the dean of an Omega University recommends that that Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors enable graduated secure better jobs. The author cites many evidence: (1)overall student grade averages’ rising up attributed to the evaluation of professors;(2)and it make the employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated;(3)that is why the graduates cannot find better jobs. Close scrutiny of these evidence, however, none of them can lend strong support to the conclusion.

To begin with, the author rely overall student grade averages' rising up on the evaluation of professors is groundless.（这句话应该对的） There are many other possibilities that can account for the risen, such as the improvements in teaching system and methods, improvements in the students’ abilities, changes in the system of marking, and so on. And the statistic, thirty percent, makes no sense to the recommendation for the author doses not give out which year it compared with. Especially, if it is based on the grades15 years ago, then 30 percent have nothing to do with the conclusion. Because improvements during 15 years are too huge to figure out, besides the improvements in science, economy, teaching, the people themselves are changing over time. Children now have higher IQ than before, and have better environment of study.（这句话不应该的写得） Therefore, the evidence is useless to support the recommendation.

Then the author （is）too subjectively and biased to infer that the employers will believe the grades at Omega are inflated. First, the author is not the employer, and there is no survey or statistics to establish this assumption. Second, the author cites that the graduates from nearby Alpha University can get better jobs because those employers believe the grades at their school are not inflated. However, the author does not tell us whether there is also a evaluation of professors in Alpha University, or their grades are lower than Omega, or their percentage of job finding is higher than Omega， and so on. Without clear evidence, the recommendation is unconvincing.


Finally, the author conclude that in order to enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors. But the author does not make any definition of what is better job. Dose it means higher salaries, the vocation that can better present personal merit, or the job that can match their majorities?  Maybe, the Alpha University is not a very good university and the students there fit many easy and normal jobs which can be found easier. It is entirely possible that the graduates in Omega choose further study and give up good jobs. Or perhaps, the graduates in Omega choose the vocation that can better present personal merit rather than higher salaries if better jobs based on salary. Or, because of the depression of economy, it is more difficult to find job that can better match the Omega graduates’ majority. The above-mentioned possibilities, if true, will render the author's conclusion unconvincing.

To sum up, evaluation of professors are irrelevant with graduates to secure better jobs unless the dean can show out clear evidence. Such as the grades risen up are due to the evaluation, and the explorers regard the grades are inflated and reduce employ graduates in Omega.

写得太慢了，超时了。贴联接一定回拍。
Ps: 通篇没有什么问题啊，攻击点也跟我想的一样，所以想不出什么可拍得了。如果加上限时就更好了

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

又是限时。俺要疯了，我还是写不到实践里面阿。。。