issue30-必回拍-留链接

fishjoyUID: 2116013

30"The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time."（高频）
Outline：
1.        工业进步确实提高了效率；
2.        但是工业进步反而减少了人们的休闲时间(期望值提高；竞争激烈)；
3.        科技发展的目的是不是提高效率，而是为了提高人们的生活质量
说明：2小时（2天没写，手生+感冒）。475words.
正文：
The speaker asserts that the primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time. I concede that technological advancement does enhance people’s efficiency, but high efficiency is not the ultimate aim of technological advancement with which comes diminished time.


First of all, the productive efficiency has been amazingly enhanced by tens of hundreds of times, which is far beyond ancient people’s thoughts, since human beings step into the age of automation. For example, before pipelining was introduced to manufacturing of China, the skilled craftsman can only produce 5 sets of clothes or 20 straw hats per day; but now a green worker sitting beside a pipeline can produce thirty to fifty sets of clothes or one to two hundred straw hats per day. There is another example. In old days, only his family can an American farmer raise; but nowadays, an American farmer can raise 98 Americans and 34 people from other countries since manifold modern tools and machines have been in use. Obviously, it is undeniable that technological advancement has enhanced people’s efficiency.


However, people do not have more leisure time as we had hoped along with technological advancement. For instance, in 1990, the average working hours of people in cities of China is 35 per week; in 2005, according to an official report, the average working hours have increased to 48.16hours. What explains this paradoxical phenomenon of diminished leisure time despite of increasing efficiency that technological advancement has brought? One reason is that high efficiency raises people’s expectation----especially the boss’----for production. It is part of human nature that one would never be satisfied with what he or she has gained. Another reason is that keen competition force people to work harder for survival. Binging work from office to home has become a common practice which can help an employer show his or her diligence and loyalty to the company. Thus time devoted to work increases with technological advancement.


Last but not least, the ultimate goal of technological advancement is to promote our life standard and develop our society, not just enhancing efficiency to have more leisure time. There are far more important things that technological advancement can bring other than high efficiency. For instance, the emergence of digital camera brings us more convenience and fun; the improvement on vehicle’s performance enables us to enjoy a faster life; the advancement of medicinal technology helps to relieve people’s pain and prolong their lives. In other words, it is us human beings that technological advancement should bring benefit to, and efficiency is merely a means other than a final aim.


To sum up, technological advancement successfully enhances people’s efficiency, but fails to increase their leisure time. Moreover, without the primary goal—promoting our life standard and developing our society, enhancing people’s efficiency loses its meaning.

fishjoyUID: 2116013

已经沉到海底两万里了，赶紧捞上来，大家帮我看看，谢谢

tuesday420UID: 202475

:) 看完了，楼主很强啊，语法上我只觉得2个错误
1.However, people do not have more leisure time as we(感觉这里和前面的people对不上) had hoped along with technological advancement
2.Binging(Bringing) work from office to home has become a common practice which can help an employer show his or her diligence and loyalty to the company.

另外，第3段最后一句Thus time devoted to work increases with technological advancement. 感觉没有很好的点题，我的意见是重新改一下。

其他论证有力，例子充分，偶的水平也经跟不上了:L

楼主帮我看一篇吧 https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D5