argument117 七月高频！砖头砸来！

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

Argument 117
The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
'Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores.'

正文--------
From the memo, the business manager of Valu-Mart stores recommends that they must increase storing the stock of home office machines in order to make the office-supply departments to become the most profitable component of their stores because most of the respondents reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. The argument flaws in several respects that make the manager's recommendation unconvincing as it stands.

The threshold problem is the credible of the survey which are recently taken. The author fails to point out how many people receive this investigation. And whether the respondents can represent overall. Who did the survey? Is it authority? How does the statistics be done? Without clear details of the survey, the statistic is meaningless. Despite that recently is too vague to scientific work; it is entirely possible that the respondents are all from same industries in which there are many things need to solve recently. Or perhaps, the people who meet this are more willingly to respond to the survey. Or, it is just a way of complaining about hard works. All above mentioned render the recommendation unconvincing.

Secondly, even if more work have been taken home with them from the workplace than before, it cannot bolster that they must store more home office machines. There is no evidence that is credible to substantiate that households will by office machines when they have more work at home. It perhaps that the work mostly taken home do not need any machines but just use their intelligence, such as thinking out an idea of a project. Perhaps, works like interview consumers, especially as insurance agencies. Therefore, works that are taken home are those that do not need any office machines, especially staplers.

Finally, even granted that households will buy more office machines, it cannot make any sound reasoning to the conclusion that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable component. A department whether can be the most profitable part depends on many factors, especially costs and revenue. In order to make more profit, the department must decrease costs by improving productivity, use cheaper raw materials and so on, or by increasing revenues by improving selling methods to raise sell volume. And, generally speaking, the office-supply departments are always small profits part. It is merely possible to become the most profitable part.

To sum up, the manager's recommendation is groundless based on the argument. If the manager wants to propose his recommendation more convincing, he must give more credible evidence to support that there are really many people take works back home and those work must be finished by using office machines that are lacking with households. And the author must tell us they will try their best to make the profit.

一样一样哈  给联接回拍哟

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-31 at 22:32 ]

polymathUID: 179557

占个座！一会帮你看！:)

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

先谢过了哦 ：）

d_messiahUID: 177468

这就看

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

两位真是太好了！！谢谢谢谢
写了arg一定给我看。issue我也会尽力的。因为晚上睡得比较早，所以如果当晚没回，还望海涵。

d_messiahUID: 177468

From the memo, the business manager of Valu-Mart stores recommends that they must increase storing the stock of home office machines in order to make the office-supply departments to become the most profitable component of their stores because most of the respondents reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. 累死了，能不能适当给几个逗号啊The argument flaws in several respects that make the manager's recommendation unconvincing as it stands.

The threshold problem is the credible of the survey which are recently taken. The author fails to point out how many people receive this investigation. And可以和前面并到一句，并了也不显着长 whether the respondents can represent overall. Who did the survey? Is it authority? How does the statistics be done? Without clear details of the survey, the statistic is meaningless. Despite that recently is too vague to scientific work; it is entirely possible that the respondents are all from same industries in which there are many things need to solve 自己能看出来吧？recently. 感觉从模版里拿来直接用的，没看出来和题目的联系Or perhaps, the people who meet this are more willingly to respond to the survey. Or, it is just a way of complaining about hard works. All above mentioned render the recommendation unconvincing.

Secondly, even if more work have been taken home with them from the workplace than before, it cannot bolster that they must store more home office machines. There is no evidence that is credible to substantiate that households will by office machines when they have more work at home. It perhaps that the work mostly taken home do not need any machines but just use their intelligence, such as thinking out an idea of a project. Perhaps, works like interview consumers, especially as insurance agencies. Therefore, works that are taken home are those that do not need any office machines, especially staplers.

Finally, even granted that households will buy more office machines, it cannot make any sound reasoning to the conclusion that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable component. A department whether can be the most profitable part depends on many factors, especially costs and revenue. In order to make more profit, the department must decrease costs by improving productivity, use cheaper raw materials and so on, or by increasing revenues by improving selling methods to raise sell volume. And, generally speaking, the office-supply departments are always small profits part. It is merely possible to become the most profitable part. 我觉得这点还可以批驳没有提供其他的部门，还有，在成本和收益处可以举些例子，仓储花钱等等，毕竟，你在B1就用了一次通病的模版了。

To sum up, the manager's recommendation is groundless based on the argument. If the manager wants to propose his recommendation more convincing,罗嗦 he must give more credible evidence to support that there are really many people take works back home and those work must be finished by using office machines that are lacking with households. And the author must tell us they will try their best to make the profit.

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

呵呵 被发现的 那个recently 是后来加上去了。
储藏花钱 ！！我怎么没想到阿！！好！]
最后一段那个罗索 似乎有点必要阿？讨论讨论巴
还有前面的那个楼上说要并进取的句子，我当时也想过，可是如果兵进去了，跟后面的句子感觉就有点怪了。

d_messiahUID: 177468

Originally posted by mvpzhuang at 2005-7-31 21:50
呵呵 被发现的 那个recently 是后来加上去了。
储藏花钱 ！！我怎么没想到阿！！好！]
最后一段那个罗索 似乎有点必要阿？讨论讨论巴
还有前面的那个楼上说要并进取的句子，我当时也想过，可是如果兵进去了，跟 ...

你关注自己的帖子还是蛮及时地吗？！
那个“罗嗦”，我是说那个意思
把If the manager wants to propose his recommendation more convincing, he must ...写成to propose his recommendation more convincing, the manager must...就好了

并句的那个，当时我没仔细看

[ Last edited by d_messiah on 2005-7-31 at 21:59 ]

d_messiahUID: 177468

不知道说的对不？个人意见

BTW，你的ARGU，是看到的论证很充分的之一，很羡慕你的思路，那么多可能都想到了，不知道是不是限时的

mvpzhuangUID: 205051

啊噢   被你问到了。。。想的时候没有限时阿。。。寒。。。。
以后会注意的了
今天起要限时了