issue150欢迎狠拍 拍的留连接 好回拍

clylizeUID: 150642

Issue 150：“Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete.

【翻译】：
由于电视和全球范围内的计算机网络，人们现在可以熟悉很多以前从未涉足过的地方，其结果就是使得旅游变得过时了。
1电视和网络介绍了很多景点的相关知识 for example…..
2但是电视和网络介绍的还是有限的 然而要想知道梨子的味道最好亲口尝一下 一旦有机会很多人还是喜欢去旅游的 亲身去体验一下会有不同的感觉 旅游可以放松身心 享受生活 可以增长知识和见闻
3电视和网络的介绍并不会使旅游过时
In this era of rapid social and technological change, television and network is popular. They can give people a lot of funny and useful information, so many people like them very much. They use them study, work, play game, watch movie, and kill time. However, do they instead of visit? I do not think it is true.

Obviously, television and network give a lot of useful things about some places. People can know how to reach the place, where they can live in there, weather and custom about there. Television and network often give some beautiful pictures and movie about landscape. They like write many graceful words and sentences about history and somebody’s experience of travel. People can view landscape in their houses, and do not go out. Television and network let people watch ice light in summer, tropical plants in winter, watch Antarctic animals and Hawaii landscape at same time. Thus, when people do not have enough times and money, they can use television and network to view beautiful places.

However, “If you want to know how delicious the pear, you should taste it by yourself.” Watching landscape and learning history and custom form television and network does not make people satisfied. Most of them like to travel the place by themselves. Travel can make people enjoy their life. Mountain and forest have fresh air which is good for healthy. Climbing mountain can train person’s stamina. Swimming can train person’s   sinew. Visiting different cities can learn different styles of life and custom. Going to famous ancient places can learn history about them and see fair culture relics. For example, Beijing is a city in China. Beijing has the Great wall, the park of Yihe, the Imperial place and etc. People all in world can search most information about Beijing. However, they can not feel how mystery about the Imperial place, how beautiful about the park of Yihe, how huge about the Great wall, if they do not go to Beijing.

Introduce about some places from television and network do not instead travel. In fact, they let a lot of people know where can travel and play, and let tourism popular. Thus, television and network are useful tools about tourism. First, they often report weather about travel place. People can know temperature and climate about there, prepare cloth and medicine. Second, they detail how to reach the place. People can select appropriate traffic tools to get there. Third, they give price list about live, food, and play. People can calculate probable cost about travel, and design a reasonable plan to live and play. Forth, some places, which are not famous, need television and network’s advertisement. Television and network can make the place well known, and allure people visit there. And the place would develop with the visitor’s money.

In conclusion, television and network give most useful things to people about a great many places which they can not visit. They let people become familiar with the places, and let them interest to there. They are very helpful to visitors, and they are good for the place too. They can advance the place’s economy. Tourism would become very popular with help of television and network.

Esther.LiUID: 191003

主题、结构、论证都很好，缺点嘛………………自己看！

ladzhUID: 2105328

In this era of rapid social and technological change, television and network is popular. They can give people a lot of funny and useful information, so many people like them very much. They use them study, work, play game, watch movie, and kill time. However, do they instead of visit(instead of 是一个介词 短语，不能做谓语，可改为replace)? I do not think it is true.(本段开头就指出题目中的内容，并且明确写清你的论点，然后下文才好展开)

Obviously, television and network give a lot of useful things about some places. People can know how to reach the place, where they can live in there(删去in), weather and custom about there（there 和 about不能连用）. Television and network often give some beautiful pictures and movie about landscape. They like write（writing） many graceful words and sentences about history(historyical) and somebody’s experience of travel(traveling). People can view landscape in their houses, and do not go out(宜改为without going out of the houses). Television and network let people watch ice light in summer, tropical plants in winter, watch(have access to ) Antarctic animals and Hawaii landscape at same time(at the same time). Thus, when people do not have enough times(time) and money, they can use television and network to view beautiful places.(这段观点清晰，但建议你加强一下语法结构的表达？)

However, “If you want to know how delicious the pear, you should taste it by yourself.” Watching landscape and learning（about） history and custom( of other countries or places) form television and network does not make people satisfied(satisfy). Most of them like to travel (to )the place by themselves. Travel (宜改为travelling，动词不能作主语)can make people enjoy their life. Mountain（s） and forest(s) have fresh air which is(that are) good for healthy(health介词后面跟名词). Climbing mountain can train person’s stamina. Swimming can train person’s   sinew. Visiting different cities can learn different styles of life and custom（s）. Going to famous ancient places can learn history about them and see fair (宜改为precious)culture relics. For example, Beijing is a city(the capital) in China. Beijing has the Great wall, the park of Yihe(the summer palace), the Imperial place(the Forbidden city) and etc. People all in world can search most information about Beijing (宜加上through internet or by watching TV). However, they can not feel how(宜改为the real)  mystery about the Imperial place, how beautiful about the park of Yihe, how huge(great ) about the Great wall, if they do not go to(visit) Beijing (by themselves).

Introduce about some places from television and network do not instead travel（这句宜改为knowing about some places from televisions and internet , one cannot enjoy  the beauty and the wonder brought by traveling）  . In fact, they let(在这里指代什么？最好写清楚) a lot of people know where can（they） travel and play, and let(therefore make) tourism popular. Thus, television and network are useful tools about /for tourism. First, they often report weather about travel place. People can know temperature and climate about there, prepare cloth(clothes) and medicine for (the trip ahead). Second, they detail (inform people) how to reach the place. People can select appropriate traffic tools(vehicles) to get there. Third, they give price list about live, food, and play (lacommodation, entertainment and  etc). People can calculate probable cost about travel(traveling), and design a reasonable plan to live and play. Forth, some places, which are not famous, need television and network’s advertisement. Television and network can make the place well known, and allure people visit there. And the place would develop with the visitor’s money.（therefore, the tourism in that place will be prosperous at last.）

In conclusion, television and network give most useful things to people about(自己改过来) a great many places which they can not visit. They let people become familiar with the places, and let them interest to （interested in going t）there. They are very helpful to visitors, and they are good for the place too. They can advance the place’s economy. Tourism would become very popular with help of television and network
总的感觉你还没有深刻领会issue写作的基本要领，建议你看一下ets给出的范文，
建议你好好复习语法，从基本的句子练起， 不要着急，慢慢来，相信你会有满意的成绩！加油！